A Father, A Son, and the Holy Devil Child
by ActionBitch
Summary: 2 men babysit a 12 yr old child? Genius. Sesshomaru and Inutaisho find out what "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." means the hard way. Flames will shoot, and not the stupid romance ones either. Set back in feudal times.
1. Chapter 1

Fire Crotch

AN- This is set in the feudal era, so yeah. This story was inspired by random, funny moments in my life with my parents and other peeps.

A young, teenage Sesshomaru lay asleep in bed. He had just trained for a whole day with his father, and he was basically out cold. He turned over in his sleep, feeling a presence stare at him. He opened his eyes and stared back into golden eyes. There his father sat; right there, in his face, merely inches apart.

"AHHHHH! WHAT?" Sesshomaru yelled, scared shitless from his father's appearance.

"AHHH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Inutaisho yelled back, falling backwards onto his ass from fright.

"You scared me!" Sesshomaru barked angrily.

"Well you scared me!" Inutaisho hollered back, sweat pouring off his face.

"What do you want?" Sesshomaru asked, calming himself down. Inutaisho sniffed and stood up, straightening his posture and looking like nothing happened.

"I need you downstairs, now." He said back. Sesshomaru rubbed his eye and stood up.

"Please put a shirt on. We have guests." Inutaisho begged.

"I was going to put one on anyway, Father. Why do we have guests in the middle of the night?"

"Well, have you ever owed a friend a favor?"

"No."

"Of course not, you have no friends."

"What did you just say?"

"I said I love you Son, now please move your ass faster."

"I'm so tired I couldn't careless about some favor you owe." Sesshomaru growled, following his father out of his room. They walked down a huge corridor and came to a staircase. Sesshomaru went down first and Inutaisho followed, hoping his son wouldn't be too angry to socialize a bit. Sesshomaru saw a man and a woman standing in what would be the grand door entrance. He saw the man cradling a small child in his arms.

"Father, did you cheat on Mother again?" Sesshomaru asked bitterly.

"Haha, no, why would you _think _that, Son? Oh, he's such a comedian." Inutaisho stated falsely, noticing the man heard what Sesshomaru said. Sesshomaru frowned as he stopped in front of the strange couple. The woman held a strange, six-string instrument along with a bag with books and other things in it. The man cradled a young girl, not older than twelve in his arms along with a sword on his hip. They wore strange clothing. It didn't hang off of them it was skintight. It was made from strange cloth that Sesshomaru never knew existed.

"Thanks man, I really needed you and you are sticking it out." The man said with relief. Sesshomaru noticed he was a demon. He had two, crimson stripes on each cheek and hand.

"That's what best friends are for. This is my son, Sesshomaru." Inutaisho said, forcing Sesshomaru forward with a "friendly" pat on his back.

"He looks just like his mother." The man cooed teasingly. Inutaisho nodded with a face that said, "Fo sho hoe!"

"Are you saying I look like a woman?" Sesshomaru growled.

"No offense, but, yeah, you do." The man chuckled. Sesshomaru crossed his arms and huffed, feeling his pride deflate. Inutaisho and the man laughed silently at him, bumping their fists and trying not to wake the young girl in his arms. Sesshomaru looked at the woman and flinched. She was human, a strange one too. She had the scent of fire in her blood, but the only fire she had been around were the lit torches around the room. He frowned and decided the young girl was half-demon.

"So, what happened?" Inutaisho asked leading them to the dinning area to sit. The girl's mother took her from her father's arms and sat down with her. The man sat down and frowned remorsefully.

"I had no choice but to seal him away." The man said sadly. Sesshomaru saw his father's face turn from serious to fear.

"No…Tommy…you didn't." Inutaisho hissed angrily. Sesshomaru frowned. Tommy? What kind of name was that? Is the author on crack?

"Inutaisho I had to! He would've killed everyone in the city if I didn't!" the man hissed back.

"But to seal him in your own flesh and blood? Do you know what her life will be like now? They hated her for being half-demon, now they will hate her for that monster!"

"I know, but there was no other choice."

"Why not in someone else?"

"No one else would. She was asleep during the whole spell. Weird enough, it was supposed to be painful, but she didn't stir at all."

"Did he fight back when you brought her out?"

"No. Odd as it is, he really liked his first-born grandchild. She was the only one he wouldn't hurt when he attacked."

"Hm, that is odd. Oh well, what's the real dilemma?" Inutaisho quizzed, knowing there was more to the story.

"Other people found out, demons and humans alike, that Toukai was brought down inside a little girl, and so they attacked us as well."

"They want his sealed powers. Well, I guess we can watch her for a while. It isn't like I've got anything better to do."

"Make sure she doesn't get too angry, that's the trigger for his power…and hers."

"I know. Anything else?"

"Uh yeah…she's a bit of a fire crotch."

"Hahaha, a fire crotch huh? She looks innocent enough to me."

"She's asleep. Wait until she wakes up."

"Well, Sesshomaru is quite nice, until he's asleep. Then waking him up is awful."

"Yeah well, my little girl here is lot more than what she looks."

"I'm sure she is…being born from you two fire crotches." Inutaisho teased. The three laughed and looked over at Sesshomaru, who was almost out cold from fatigue. He looked at them all with boredom and sighed, wishing he were still upstairs. The woman handed the girl to Inutaisho and he told her to leave their stuff there. He led them to the door, where it was storming outside and smiled.

"Thanks again, Inu, you're the best!" the man said, leading his wife out into the storm to their carriage.

"May I go back to bed now?" Sesshomaru growled.

"Yes, I'll come with you." Inutaisho said, following his son upstairs. Sesshomaru crawled under his covers while removing his shirt. He saw his father placing the girl on the other side of the bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sesshomaru hissed.

"She's sleeping with you!" Inutaisho hissed back.

"Why not with you?"

"Because, when your mother returns in the morning and sees me in bed with a twelve year old girl, she'll cut my nut sack off! If she sees you in bed with an underage girl, she'll just pray for grandchildren!"

"Put her in another room! We have hundreds of them!"

"I don't trust the men in our palace! If something happens to her, Tommy will cut my nuts _and_ dick off! And then he'll eat me!"

"Fine! Just get out! I'm tired!"

"Ok, ok, ok, pissy pants, I'm leaving!" Inutaisho said, scurrying out of the room before his son became too angry to handle. Sesshomaru looked over at the girl and saw she was bandaged up, as if injured. He smelled her blood and heard her pulse rise with pain and anxiety.

"Damn. I can't sleep now." Sesshomaru growled, lighting a candle and walking over to the girl. He sat it on a stand next to her and turned her over to see how bad her injuries were. He lifted her shirt just enough to see her stomach and pulled the bandages aside. His eyes widened at the injury. It wasn't a simple stab or slice, no; it was a carving that took up her entire abdomen. It was a deep carving in the shape of a three-pronged flame with a swirling design inside of it. Sesshomaru could tell it was recent. Then he remembered what the man said:

_'I had no choice, but to seal him away.'_

"It's a spell designed to trap a demon's powers within another's body…but…she's just a child. Why her?" Sesshomaru asked, wrapping the bandages around her again. He blew out the candle and slid back into bed, feeling his fatigue returning to him again.

AN- It will get funnier, it has to. Sesshomaru stuck with a twelve year old girl, come on, flames with shoot and not the romance kind.


	2. Chapter 2

She's Awake…Arm The Men

Keiko sat up in bed and rubbed her black hair. She blinked a few times to get her vision straight and looked around.

"Whoa, Toto, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore." The girl said plainly. She looked over and saw someone with long white hair, red eyeliner, and two maroon stripes on each cheek.

"Woooow. I go to sleep in my bed, then wake up in another bed with a chick…how lucky of me." She said, sliding out of the bed and walking over to the alleged chick. She pulled the covers from "her" and frowned.

"Not only is she a woman, she has no boobs. Which means…she's man. Oh wonderful." Keiko mumbled, walking out of the room and trotting down the corridor. She reached the steps and slid down the railing, hoping not to fall. She found a set of doors and opened them. They led to a huge courtyard with a garden and a small stream coursing through it.

"Oh my God, where the Hell am I? Heaven?" she asked, looking around. She held her palm up and sighed. Instantly, a huge flame shot to the sky.

"Holy shit! I barely put any umph in that one!" she said with a crazed smile. She held her hand into a fist and punched at the sky. The small flame started out small and then morphed into a huge one, continuing its course beyond the clouds.

"Dude! That is so fucking awesome!" Keiko shouted.

"You really are a fire crotch!" Inutaisho yelled from behind her, bad idea, because she turned around and kicked a flame at him. Inutaisho dodged it cleanly and floated in the air. Keiko punched several more flames at him. Inutaisho dodged the first ten just fine, then number eleven caught his armor and disintegrated it. He landed on the ground, waving his hands.

"Stop! I'm a friend of your father! I'm a friend of your father!" Inutaisho yelled.

"Oh really? Then what's his favorite color?"

"Red!"

"Bud or Miller?"

"Bud!"

"Pink or purple?"

"Death!"

"Briefs or boxers?"

"Commando!"

"Oh shit, you really are his friend. Sorry, homie, you scared me."

"Yes, I seem to be doing that to children lately. Never mind that, well, I am Inutaisho, Lord of the Western Lands. You are staying with my son and me for a little while. Actually, I want you to meet him."

"Wait? Son? Does he look like a chick?"

"If you mean chick as in his mother, then yes, he looks like her."

"Oh…we've met."

"Really? Was he nice? If he wasn't, I'll let you kick him."

"If you mean nice as in, half naked and passed out, then yes, he was extremely nice."

"Oh. Hahaha, yeah, he really needs to stop doing that." Inutaisho said, rubbing his chin. Keiko shifted in place and sighed, starting up another flame.

"Damn, why do you keep coming out? I barely even sighed." She said, waving the flame out. Inutaisho frowned.

_'A fire bender, huh? Now that she has that monster's powers flowing through her, every ability she has is going to increase in power ten fold.' _He thought as he rubbed his chest where his once nice, but now nonexistent, armor was.

"So…are you hungry?" Inutaisho asked her.

"Hell yeah!" Keiko replied, following Inutaisho to the dinning area.

"After we eat, I'll show you around the palace."

"Ok! Sounds great."

"Alright, what do we want?" He ordered for some chicken and Keiko smiled.

"Chicken makes me hard! I want extra!" she said the cook. He nodded and walked out of the room as Inutaisho concealed his laughter.

"How old are you?" Inutaisho asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

"This many!" she replied, holding up ten fingers.

"Plus two." She added.

"Ah, twelve. Great year for me."

"Yeah, to me it just means I'm getting old."

"Hahaha! You're a riot!"

"I know. Hey look, Female Man is up!" Keiko said, pointing to Sesshomaru as he walked in.

"And he has a shirt on! Oh great gods above, you DO exist!" Inutaisho added with a smile. Sesshomaru sat across from them, fuming.

"Father, is it your mission in life to ruin every morning and night for me?" Sesshomaru asked calmly.

"Yes, and it's this girl's job to ruin your afternoon. So, welcome to Hell." Inutaisho added dryly.

"Yeah, you don't need a reservation like everyone else." Keiko added, grinning as the bowl of chicken was placed in front of her. Sesshomaru growled. This was the quiet, sleepy girl from last night?

"Are you hungry, sir?" the cook asked Sesshomaru.

"I'll have what they're having."

"Yes sir, I'll be back." The cook said, leaving the room. Keiko inhaled her chicken quickly, leaving no scraps for charity behind. She leaned up and belched a flame, which looked more like a flamethrower.

"Hahaha, whoa! I forgot my bending is stronger for some reason." She said, looking at the stunned Sesshomaru.

"What? Haven't you seen a fire bender?" she asked him.

"No, I haven't."

"Double negative means yes."

"Don't toy with me."

"I don't toy, I fight."

"I'm almost three feet higher than you. You have no chance."

"Tch! I just took your daddy out and he's taller than you!" she said smugly. Sesshomaru looked over at his father who nodded.

"Yes she did. Melted my favorite armor, caught me off guard, she basically overpowered me." Inutaisho said, finishing up his chicken. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes, as his bowl was set in front of him.

_'There is no way that little half-breed took down my father! I can't even do it!' _he thought as he ate his chicken. A servant walked in and bowed at Inutaisho.

"Yes?" he asked.

"My lord, someone is at the door for you. Should I send him in?"

"No, I'll come with you." Inutaisho said, walking out the door. Sesshomaru looked up at the girl and frowned. She was sitting patiently and quietly.

"What is your name?" Sesshomaru asked, pushing his bowl aside.

"Keiko."

"Adored one?"

"Yeah, my Grandfather only liked me out of the four kids my parents had. I prefer to be called Kay or Kei though."

"Are you the youngest?"

"No, second to youngest."

"I see. So, how old are you?"

"Twelve."

"Alright. That's all I wanted to know."

"So…what's your name?" Keiko asked him.

"Sesshomaru."

"Destruction man? Hahaha!"

"What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, just this joke I made up. So how old are you?"

"Much older than you are."

"Well, duh, I know that."

"I haven't kept count."

"Wow."

"Sesshomaru, I need to speak with you for a moment." Inutaisho called. Sesshomaru stood up and walked out the door. His father led him away from the door and sighed.

"I have to leave." He said.

"You have to…leave." Sesshomaru said with slight anger.

"Don't give me that attitude, young man, or I'll spank you." Inutaisho replied sarcastically. Sesshomaru growled and crossed his arms.

"So, this is your way of saying watch the girl?"

"No…I'm telling you to protect her."

"Protect? Hah, protect her from what? She seems to be able to hold her own." Sesshomaru growled. Inutaisho frowned. Sesshomaru must've not listened to 90 percent of the conversation last night, good job jackass.

"She only beat me because of…I can't say anymore. Look, she has certain _information_ that dangerous people are after. If they get a hold of her, we're dead. Just keep her close by and try not to have any stupid little arguments."

"Why? I like arguing with small children."

"Trust me, if you anger her, this whole place will be gone in seconds. Keep her happy and entertained."

"I'm not the entertainment committee, Father. I'll watch her, but I refuse to play games with her."

"You will play the games or so help me I will beat you so hard that someone is going to have to invent Child Protection Services to save your ass!" Inutaisho growled.

"I would really like to see you try that." Sesshomaru replied with a smirk. His father's comebacks weren't threatening; they were quite empty and funny. Inutaisho's eye twitched with annoyance. His son got more and more like Mommy everyday.

"Just please do this. I won't be gone for too long."

"How long?"

"Two days at the most, counting today."

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Oh…I know you will. You will regret it if I come back and she has one trace of boredom upon her face."

"Whatever you say, Father."

"Damn it! Can't you show a little fear?"

"Hold on…let me try…oh…sorry, no." Sesshomaru replied dryly.

"I have to go, bye Son. Oh! One more thing, don't let her see her injury!" Inutaisho said.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so! If the bandages need changed, have some nurses do it or you can do it, but make sure she doesn't see them!" Inutaisho yelled, running out the door. Sesshomaru sighed and walked back into the dinning area…no one there.

"She's gone! What the…where did she go?" he asked looking around. He would've seen her if she left the room.

"Hahaha! Hi!" Keiko laughed, landing on his shoulders. He fell to the floor and frowned.

"Get off me."

"I'm pretty sure your dad just ordered you to entertain me so…no, I won't get off."

"What's so fun about riding on my shoulders?"

"I don't know. Let's try it out and see. Giddy up!" she said, pointing to the door. Sesshomaru stood up and decided not to try his father's patience. He walked to the door and thought of an idea.

"Did my father show you around the palace?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Uh…no. He was going to, but he had to leave."

"Then I will show you around."

"Hahaha, tours make me hard!"

_'Father, please don't be gone too long.' _Sesshomaru thought worriedly.


	3. Chapter 3

Crack

AN- Hahaha, ran out of title ideas already. Though, the title of the story itself was inspired by a picture I found of me after my baptism…my eyes were red. Hahaha!

Sesshomaru sighed as he walked down another long hallway. Keiko tapped lightly on his head with her fingers.

"Let me guess…more bedrooms right?" Keiko asked with a laugh.

"My, my, aren't we the bright one today?" Sesshomaru said dryly. Keiko laughed and apologized for being smart.

"So, your grandfather likes you the best?" Sesshomaru asked, realizing a detail he missed.

"Uh huh. He thought the rest of my siblings were spoiled brats. He said that I had morals and sympathy, unlike them." She said as Sesshomaru took another turn.

"That's odd. Last night, your father said that your grandfather liked you…the first born child."

"Huh? No, I'm second to last and Gramps liked me the best."

"Could we be talking about different grandfathers?"

"No. My human grandfather died when my mom was a kid. Me or my siblings never met him."

"Why would your father say that?"

"I don't know. He's been acting weird lately…maybe it's his time of the month. Hahahaha!" Keiko giggled with mischief. Sesshomaru groaned.

"Where are you from?" Sesshomaru asked, wondering where the Hell they would allow a young girl to speak in such a manor.

"The States, yo!" she replied hood like.

"Where?"

"Oh, the U.S.A. doesn't exist yet. I'm from the future."

"Interesting."

"Not really. The future is polluted and people are assholes."

"You think there aren't any here?"

"No, I've met you, but in our world, we will love you if you're rich. I mean, you can be a complete jackass, and we will worship the ground on which you walk. It's pretty sad."

"Heh, I'm getting the feeling you don't love those idiotic rich people."

"Nope. They could die and I would go and take a piss on their grave."

"I still don't see the need for cursing."

"It's not cursing it's…sentence enhancing."

"Whatever."

"Hey, take me to the courtyard, I want to practice something!"

"Please?"

"Yes you may, get going!" she replied. Sesshomaru growled and took her anyway. When he stepped outside, he felt a weight leave him as Keiko jumped off and ran into the sunlight. She stood up straight and exhaled slowly while pushing an unseen force down with her hands. Next she started tracing the air with two fingers on each hand. Sesshomaru noticed a disturbance in the energies in the air, but decided to keep quiet. She shot her fingers out like a gun and was blown backwards by her own fire.

"Ahhh! Goddamn it! What the hell was that shit?" she barked angrily as she stood back up. Sesshomaru chuckled at her outburst.

"What? You want some of this? Just keep laughing and I'll give you all the Kay I've got!"

"Kay?"

"Yeah, if you listened to me earlier, I usually go by Kay or Kei. Mainly Kay."

"You sound so proud of yourself. Hey, do that one thing again. You know, where you blow yourself up."

"Keep talking crotch stain! I'll be on you like ugly on your face!"

"I'll have you know that I am one of the most handsome demons you will ever meet."

"Hahaha! I met a fucking toad demon finer than you!"

"Why you incompetent little half-breed!" Sesshomaru barked, stepping towards her.

"Ooooooohhh, I seem to have sparked some anger in you! Well, come and get me, whore!" she called. Sesshomaru stepped forward and stopped. He was supposed to protect her, not fight her. He stepped back and calmed himself down.

"What? You scared?" she taunted. Sesshomaru found a nice tree in the shade and sat against it.

"I'm not going to stoop to your level just to simply teach you a lesson."

"Whatever…pussy." She mumbled, standing up straight and continuing her practice. She pierced through the energies again and Sesshomaru smelled lightning. He looked up, sunny and no clouds. He looked back at Keiko, or now Kay, and realized when she pierced the energies, the smell of lightning appeared.

"You are attempting to create lightning?" he asked her.

"Yeah, no such luck though. I've been practicing this for months, you would think I would get it by now." She said bitterly, inhaling deeply and continuing her attempts to create lightning. She held her fingers out and was once again blown backwards by a flame that got caught up in the energies. She sat up and coughed.

"Hey…I think I saw a spark." Sesshomaru chirped sarcastically. Kay glared at him, but had no insults at the moment, so she stood back up and tried again. She closed her eyes to calm herself down.

_'Keep trying.' _She told herself as she inhaled once again. She traced the energies once more and aimed high as a lightning bolt shot from her fingers into the sky.

"Hell yeah!" she cheered, looking over at Sesshomaru, who was tapping one finger against the other to show that he was not impressed, but she knew otherwise.

"Sesshomaru where is your father?" a woman's voice called. Sesshomaru jumped up and was met with his own mother.

"Mother? Why are you searching for him?"

"Don't answer my question with another, where is he?"

"He didn't say. He just took off and left me here with this brat." Sesshomaru growled, pointing at Kay, who was looking at them innocently. His mother looked at her and smiled.

"Well, aren't you the cutest little half-demon? Look, you have pointed ears! You could be passed off as a demon easily! Awww, how cute?" she cooed, picking Kay up and swinging her around. She set Kay down who stumbled.

"Whoa…drugs…hahaha, dizzy." Kay said, holding her head. His mother looked at Sesshomaru sternly.

"Have you been nice to her, Sesshomaru?"

"Define nice." Kay chirped. Sesshomaru glared heatedly at her.

"I've done my best to be sweet." He said back bitterly.

"Define sweet." Kay added. Sesshomaru continued his cold glare upon the child.

"Alright. Are you injured, little one?" his mother asked worriedly. Kay frowned and looked down as blood seeped through her shirt.

"How did that happen?" Kay asked, pulling her shirt up and looking at the blood stained bandages.

"Here, I'll take care of you, seeing as my son is too heartless to care." She said, picking Kay up and walking away.

"Mother, hold on!" Sesshomaru called, running up to her. He leaned in her ear when she stopped.

"Father said not to let the girl see her injuries." He whispered. His mother nodded in understanding and continued on into the infirmary.

"Alright, so what is your name?" the woman asked Kay.

"Keiko, but I prefer Kay."

"Well, you can just call me Kimi."

"Ok!" Kay chirped. Kimi unwrapped the girl's bandages and stopped when she realized the spell carved on her stomach. Kay saw her slight reaction and looked down.

"Don't look down." Sesshomaru ordered, pulling her stare up with his hand. Kay frowned and looked around. There was a mirror in front of her, and according to that mirror, there was one behind her too.

"Do you have a hand mirror? I need to fix my hair." Kay asked. Sesshomaru handed her one and stepped back. Kay smiled as she started fluffing her soft, shoulder length hair. She held the mirror up slightly higher and stared into it, still fluffing her hair. Kimi leaned away to grab clean bandages and Sesshomaru glanced at what Kay was doing.

_'Damn, she's smart!' _he thought, quickly moving to the mirror beside him to block her view of her injury. Kay looked into the hand mirror and instead of seeing what was on her stomach, she saw Sesshomaru waving arrogantly at her.

_'Oh my God, dude, I'm going to cunt punt you so hard!' _Kay thought angrily as she set the mirror beside her. Kimi wiped some of the blood off around the injury, but the seal continued bleeding and it showed no signs of healing. She sighed and wrapped it up tightly with new bandages before sending Kay on her way. Kimi walked alongside her son slowly so they could speak in private.

"That spell is meant for a monstrous demon to be locked away. Who was it?" she asked her son, who frowned.

"I think it was her grandfather, but the way Kay speaks of him is that he was nice to her and her only, so he must not have been that much of a monster."

"Hm, anything else?"

"Well, when her father brought her here last night he said that the grandfather liked Kay because she was the first-born grandchild, but Kay told me she was third out of four."

"That is strange of him to say, but I never trusted Tommy, and your father never listens to me."

"Why don't you trust him?"

"He may be a dog demon, but his nature is that of a snake. He is deceptive and greedy. I wouldn't be surprised if he sealed his father in his own daughter for power reasons."

"You mean hold her up and order people to follow him or else he will let the demon go?"

"That or he may want to steal the sealed power from her later, which will result in her death."

"Why steal it later?"

"Because, stealing it within a certain time after the demon's power is sealed is pointless. Right now it's untamable and it makes Kay emotionally unstable. If the slightest thing ticks her off, she'll go on a rampage. Tommy may want to wait until the demon's powers have calmed down and are more manageable before taking them from Kay. Not to mention the physical pain he would go through if he took it now."

"Kay seems to be unbothered by the pain."

"Probably because her grandfather doesn't want to hurt her."

"This is bizarre, Mother. Why would Tommy do that to his own child? Why wouldn't Father believe us if we told him?"

"Well, like I said, Tommy is a snake and your father is an idiot."

"True."

"Hey Sesshomaru, are you still afraid to fight me?" Kay called teasingly, shaking her ass at him. Kimi giggled while nudging her son with her arm.

"Go teach her a lesson, but don't be too hard." She said.

"Fine." Sesshomaru said, hopping into the courtyard with her. Kay got into a stance and smiled.

"Here I come!" she yelled, sending a flame at Sesshomaru. He jumped away quickly and tried to get closer, but Kay kept him at bay with her flames. She hurled another one at him and he took cover behind a boulder.

"Chicken!" Kay shouted. She brought her hand up and closed it, sending a flaming whip at the boulder, slicing it in half. Sesshomaru had jumped over it and smirked.

"Oh, you dare challenge me in a game of whips? Haha, you naïve little half-demon." He said smugly.

"Come on now, get your head out of the gutters, I will never have sex with you!" Kay shouted, readying her flame whip at her side. Sesshomaru lifted his arm slowly, then, in a blur he swung it, sending his green whip at the young girl, who jumped over his and cracked hers at him. He jumped to the side and swung his whip at her again. Kay cancelled his out with hers while sending an arc of flames at him. She charged at him while shooting flames out of her feet, jetting her across the courtyard. She punched several flames at him, causing him to back up. Sesshomaru took another step back to avoid the flames and felt his foot connect with a tree root, sending him flying onto his ass.

"Hahaha! I win." Kay said, standing arrogantly on the tree root he sat on earlier, ridiculing her attempts at creating lightning.

"Fine." Sesshomaru growled, standing up. His pride wasn't feeling too great.

"Come on in you two and get something to eat!" Kimi called, walking to the dinning room. Sesshomaru looked down at Kay, who held her hands together and bowed at him.

"Good match. You scared me a bit with your speed." She said to him. He smirked and bowed too.

"My speed was no match for your brains, but thank you for the compliment." He said back, leading her to the dinning room.

AN- Alright, I'm going to make this next chapter a riot so, try not to have valuable objects next to you. Ok, peace out, rock on.


	4. Chapter 4

Monster

Inutaisho had returned from his trip and was sitting with Sesshomaru in his study. He looked at his son, who seemed at bit annoyed and down, which was different from his usual calm and prideful attitude. Inutaisho sighed and decided to ask his son what was bothering him, but the answer soon came in the form of a 12-year-old Satan.

"Hey, Urinal, guess what I just found in the library!" Kay asked, running up to Sesshomaru while holding a paper behind her back. Sesshomaru exhaled and looked up.

"I don't know. What did you find?" Sesshomaru asked in a depressed fashion.

"I just found a painting of you as a baby! Awwwww! Isn't that adorable?" she celebrated, holding the painting up. There he was, Sesshomaru as a baby. Short, white hair, small hands and feet, chubby, big smile, big eyes, crescent moon, demon markings, the whole nine yards. Inutaisho giggled with sweet memories of his baby son and Kay laughed with pure pleasure of embarrassing Sesshomaru.

"That's great. Go away." Sesshomaru growled angrily.

"Ok, Urinal, bye!" she yelled, running off. Inutaisho frowned and coughed before asking.

"Why is she calling you Urinal?" Inutaisho asked, using all his might not to smile. Sesshomaru's face became angry, but his voice was calm.

"It came from a misunderstanding yesterday night," He began.

Flashback

Sesshomaru sat on the balcony of his room, looking out into the full moon. He then started watching Kay in the courtyard continuing her fire bending practice. He heard her curse at how powerful her flames were, even on the night of a full moon.

"So, the full moon weakens a fire bender? Interesting." Sesshomaru mumbled as Kay shot another huge flame into the starry sky, cursing at how little breath that one received. That also confused Sesshomaru, her apparent disgust and anger towards being more powerful with using less energy. Being who he was, he never understood why someone would be upset at being more powerful.

"Fuck a duck! I almost burnt myself by coughing!" she whined, rubbing her mouth.

"Kay, aren't you tired yet?" Sesshomaru called to her. She turned around and frowned.

"I can't use much energy or I'll set the whole place on fire, so no, I'm not tired yet!" she yelled back.

"Well, do something else! I'm tired and I want to sleep!" Sesshomaru barked back.

"Go to sleep then!"

"I can't when you're shooting flames into the sky! Plus, I'm supposed to watch you!"

"Ugh! Fine!" she shouted, throwing her arms down and blasting herself off the ground and onto his balcony. Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows.

"I will admit, that was pretty impressive." He said. Kay turned to him with a glare.

"Too bad I didn't mean to do it. I just exhaled and threw my arms down, next thing I knew I was flying up here."

"Oh."

"What do you plan on doing with your life, Fluffy?" she asked him bluntly.

"I plan on becoming stronger than my father. I will inherit Tetsusaiga and Sounga and use them to conquer all of the surrounding lands and build my own, vast empire." He said proudly. Kay yawned and didn't really listen to him.

"I want to make my name eternal." He finished. Kay's ears perked up.

"Did you just say I want to make my name Urinal?"

"No, I said eternal."

"No, you said urinal."

"I know what I said because I said it."

"You said urinal…bottom line."

"Go to sleep!"

"Ok good night…Urinal. Hahaha!" Kay laughed, hopping onto the other side of the bed and sleeping.

**End of Flashback**

"And so…she's been calling me it since." Sesshomaru finished depressingly. He looked up, hoping for some sympathy from his father, but instead, Inutaisho had both hands cupped over his mouth and he had tears from his tightly closed eyes streaming down his face, which was red from lack of air. His body shook from the tickling sensation in his gut, which hurt from not being able to laugh out loud.

"Damn, I can't get a break with any of you, can I?" Sesshomaru yelled.

"Hahahaha! I'm..sssssoooo…haha…sorry!" was all Inutaisho could say before falling into another fit. Sesshomaru stormed out of the room, disappearing to go sulk. Kay ran into the study and sat down quietly. Inutaisho looked up and smiled before looking back down at his paperwork and continuing it. Kay cupped her hand in the other and began her meditation of the day.

"Kay, I need to ask you something." Inutaisho said. Kay opened her eyes and turned her head.

"Hm?" she asked.

"You're funny and all, but lay off Sesshomaru for a while. He's not the kind of person to take anything lightly. I'm not saying that you're not funny, because I just laughed my ass off for twenty minutes at the urinal joke, but please, before he kills someone?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I was done with making fun of him anyway. I ran out of jokes."

"Thank you."

"What's his deal anyway?"

"I don't know. He's been that way for as long as he's been alive."

"Oh…whatever, I'll lay off of him." She said, getting up and leaving the room. She trotted into the courtyard to finish her meditation. She sat on a rock and looked around, feeling uneasy about no one watching her. She saw two guards talking and sighed, feeling slightly better. Kay closed her eyes and entered her semi-sleeping state. The next thing she knew, the two guards pulled her to her feet and swung her over their shoulders.

"What the hell…let go!" she yelled, knocking one down with a flame and jumping off the one that was carrying her. He turned around and held his spear at her.

"You're coming with us…Toukai!" he shouted. Kay's eyes widened.

"I don't know what drug you've been doing, but I look nothing like my grandfather!" she yelled. He poked her in the stomach with his spear.

"You can't fool me, now, come or I'll kill you!" he roared. Kay looked at the spear and back at him. She smiled as she swiped the spear in two, angering the fake soldier. He dove at her, but Kay jumped over him and backed away, readying to take him down in flames. He stood up and charged, but before Kay could even inhale to start a flame, a two white blurs sped past her and killed the treacherous guards. She saw Sesshomaru glance back at her.

"I could've handled him." She mumbled angrily. Inutaisho cleared his throat.

"Before or after you set him on fire?" he asked.

"Duh…after." She replied. She looked at him and Sesshomaru before sighing, igniting another flame.

"Oops…sorry. Oh and thank you." She said, bowing. Inutaisho nudged Sesshomaru.

"You're welcome." He growled.

"You should be more careful…a lot of guards would try and rape any girl they see, no matter the age."

"What are you talking about? He was trying to kidnap me because he thought I was my grandpa!" Kay insisted.

"Really?" Inutaisho asked, stunned that someone actually snuck into his palace.

"Uh huh, he must've been on one hell of a trip because, I am not an old man nor do I look like one." Kay said. Sesshomaru stared at his father, who shrugged in return.

"Oh well, you're safe, that's all that matters. Come back in and stay with me or Sesshomaru."

"I like to be by myself sometimes."

"Do you want a repeat of what just happened?"

"I could've handled them!" She said again, crossing her arms.

"I don't want you blowing my palace to the heavens. Either me or him…which one?" Inutaisho insisted. Kay looked at him, then Sesshomaru, then back at Inutaisho.

"I choose…death!" she chirped. A servant ran up and bowed.

"My lord…the meeting is ready to start!" he panted.

"Well, you have no choice now. Sesshomaru, keep an eye on her." Inutaisho ordered, trotting down the corridor and into the meeting room. Sesshomaru looked at Kay and glared.

"Follow me." He said, walking away. Kay jogged beside him until hey reached the library.

"I'm going to be in here for a while, so find a book and relax." He said, grabbing one and opening it.

"Actually, I have books in my bag that my retards of parents brought, may I go grab one really quick?" she asked kindly. Sesshomaru frowned and looked up from his book.

"…Yes?" he answered, wondering where the child from Hell went. He decided not to ask and sat down, flipping to the next page. A minute later she returned with a huge book that was wider than she was. She sat it on the floor and sat on a pillow, flipping it open. She had a piece of paper and a pencil with her, she would stare at the page and write something down, and continued that pattern. Sesshomaru couldn't help himself, so he decided to ask.

"Why are you being so nice?" he asked calmly. She held the paper up and growled. Then she looked at him and smiled.

"I could tell I was hurting your feelings, so I stopped." She said plainly, erasing a mistake and writing the correct word.

"You weren't hurting my feelings." He said back.

"Apparently I was or you wouldn't have been sulking about it."

"I wasn't sulking, I was just annoyed."

"Whatever dude, just leave me be and I'll return the favor." She snapped, writing something else down and turning the page. Sesshomaru returned to his book and yawned.

"Aha! Found what I was doing wrong!" she whispered to herself. She erased her mistakes and replaced them with the right answers. She flipped to the next page and Sesshomaru looked up in time to see her face go from happy to shocked. Kay moaned and began writing things down, momentarily looking back at the book.

"What is it you are doing?" Sesshomaru asked curiously.

"I'm deciphering hieroglyphs…from Egypt…and I'm really sucking big ones at it." She replied, erasing another mistake.

"I see." Sesshomaru replied boringly. Kay growled and sighed, making the lit torches flicker and increase in size. She stood up and stretched before heading to the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I'm thirsty." She replied.

"Then I must come with you."

"Oh my God, whatever, let's go before I die!" she yelled, running down the hallway. Sesshomaru jumped up and chased after her.

--Down in the meeting room, Inutaisho sat in his usual spot, listening to another lord's ideas. He nodded and was listening attentively, that is, until he heard the pitter-patter of small feet running by the door. He heard Sesshomaru's light steps follow close behind her.

"Oh…no." Inutaisho whispered, holding the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Lord Inutaisho, is there something about my idea bothering you?" a man with fierce, green eyes asked. His hair was red and it was pulled back in a topknot.

"Hm? Oh, no, I was…uh…I thought I was going to sneeze. Sorry about that, Lord Aki, please, continue." Inutaisho replied, hoping the two younger demons would stay away. Lord Aki nodded in acceptance and continued on with his explanation. For a few minutes, it was peaceful and not too boring…until Kay and Sesshomaru got into it again.

"What the hell is your deal?" Kay yelled from the dinning room, just down the hall. Inutaisho looked around and saw that all the lords were either ignoring it or just didn't hear the outburst.

"You're my deal! I hate kids!" Sesshomaru yelled back. Inutaisho closed his eyes, almost ready to cry from how embarrassed he felt. He looked up and saw that no one noticed, or they were still ignoring it. He sighed with relief when there were no more outbursts, that is, until Kay took off running from Sesshomaru. She got to where the meeting room doors were before Sesshomaru pounced on her. Inutaisho was fuming in his seat. He saw a couple of demons' stares float to the doors of the room.

"Ahhhh! Get off me, fat ass!" Kay yelled.

"Did you just call me fat?" Sesshomaru barked angrily.

"Yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I'm skinny!"

"You damn half-breed!"

"You dumb cunt face!" Kay barked, tackling Sesshomaru to the floor. Inutaisho stared daggers at the door as the fighting caught the attention of everyone in the room. Every lord was staring at the door with unease and curiosity.

"Sounds like sibling rivalry. Lord Inutaisho…did you cheat on your wife again?" Lord Aki asked, still staring at the door as he heard Kay call Sesshomaru a twat. Inutaisho glared at Aki heatedly.

"No I did not cheat on my wife!" Inutaisho yelled angrily, wondering why everyone thinks that he did. Inutaisho stood up and walked out the door to stop the fighting.

"Both of you stop it now!" he hissed, pulling them away from each other. Kay crossed her arms, as did Sesshomaru.

"You are both acting like fools! Sesshomaru, you're older, so you should know better! Kay, stop instigating things! Now, do you understand me?" he asked.

"Yes." They said simultaneously.

"Go talk or kill each other silently or do something…just not around here!" Inutaisho finished, walking back into the meeting. Sesshomaru picked Kay up and carried her to the infirmary. He sat her on the table and lifted her shirt.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"When I pushed you back onto the floor, I caused your wounds to bleed again. Sit tight, I'll be finished in a minute." He said calmly, slowly pulling the bandages off.

"I need to fix my hair. Where's the hand mirror?"

"I'm not stupid enough to fall for that a second time."

"Damn." Kay said, exhaling while staring at the ceiling. Sesshomaru pulled her shirt down when he was finished and put her back on the floor.

"Do you have paper and a paint brush, I want to draw." She said. Sesshomaru led her to his father's study and gave her the objects. Sesshomaru grabbed a book and sat down, reading. Kay turned away from him and smiled. She wanted to see what the injury looked like, one way or another. She placed her finger on her stomach to find where it stung the most.

"You're left handed?" Sesshomaru asked from across the room.

"I'm ambidextrous, I just prefer my left hand." She answered, drawing the shape of what she was feeling on her stomach. The wound was so deep that she could trace it with one hand while drawing what she felt with the other. Sesshomaru frowned as he realized that she was way too entertained. He jumped over to her and picked up the paper.

"Nice try." He said. He frowned when he saw a smiley face that said underneath it, "Have a nice day." He looked back down to where she was and flinched. She was gone.

"Damn!" he shouted, following her scent down the hallway.

Down in the meeting room, Inutaisho moaned as he heard more running, but they stopped. He heard a small knock on the wall, but nothing more. He then heard Sesshomaru stop at the door and growl.

_'Did she go in here? No, Father would've been livid if she did. Where is she?' _Sesshomaru thought worriedly. He sniffed and looked up, catching the falling child. He covered her mouth and ran back upstairs. Inutaisho sighed and returned to listening to the lords.

"You are a cunning one, I'll give you that much." Sesshomaru said to her as he carried her to his room.

"Why are we going in here?" she asked trying to slide out of his grasp, but Sesshomaru held her tight.

"Because I know there is nothing in here to do." He replied simply, placing her on the bed. Kay groaned and lay down, soon falling asleep. Sesshomaru poked her to make sure before smiling.

"Finally." He said, walking out of his room.


	5. Chapter 5

Getting Along At Last

AN- Well, sorry it took so long to update, usually I get the next chapter in within two days, but I've been a little busy. School's starting up for in a few weeks and I am not happy about it at all. I make awesome grades; I just hate getting up at the ass crack of dawn.

Disclaimer- I do NOT own any characters of Inuyasha…except Sesshomaru. (He's my bitch.) Just kidding, but not really, but seriously, I'm joking. Also, I take absolutely no responsibility for any objects of value being broken while reading my stories. (Hahaha, a certain reader told me their cousin did. XD)

Claimer- I do, in fact, own Kay. She's bad ass.

It had been a few weeks since Lucifer, I mean, Kay had arrived to ruin, I mean, brighten up the palace. Inutaisho had Kay in the infirmary to further examine her injury, which has now finally closed.

"It's a scar at this point. Before too long it will be as if it never existed." He said with a smile. Kay exhaled and looked around to make sure the curtains didn't catch on fire like they did last week.

"Well, may I look at said scar?" she asked him.

"No, and when my wife returns, she will give you another bath." He replied. Kay's pride sizzled.

"Why can't I take my own damn baths? I know how to do it, I'm twelve, not one."

"You shouldn't see your injury, it's still very gruesome."

"I've seen worse in a stupid Friday the 13th movie! Come on, Inutaisho, please?"

"No. Come on, you must stay with me today." He said, briskly walking out of the room. Kay straightened up her silky, red kimono. She ignited her other clothes from fire bending practice a few days earlier. She pulled up the matching red pants and tightened the sash so they wouldn't fall.

"So, what's Sesshomaru doing again?" she asked.

"His mother is bringing another suitor for him. The poor guy, I wish Kimi wouldn't push him so hard about finding a wife."

"Well, that last girl, if she qualifies as a girl, really creeped me out, and that's saying a lot."

"Feeling's mutual. She was a little…off."

"Maybe it's because she had a penis."

"What was Kimi thinking when she brought that…thing in my palace."

"Three words, Sesshomaru…is…gay."

"He may be cold, he may be uncaring, but he's not gay."

"Whatever. I've seen all kinds of gays back in America. We would dub Sesshomaru as "Hiding in the closet." Hahaha."

"Alright Kay, just because my son isn't a pile of raging hormones, that does not mean he's gay."

"I believe you."

"No you don't."

"Double negative means yes."

"You're impossible." Inutaisho said, looking down at Kay. He walked into Sesshomaru's room, expecting his son to be getting ready, but instead, Sesshomaru was asleep in bed…with no shirt.

"Sesshomaru, you're an asshole!" Inutaisho yelled with disbelief. Sesshomaru moaned as he yawned.

"I do not wish to marry." Came his grumpy reply. He pulled the covers over his head to show he didn't wish to get up either. Inutaisho growled, ready to jump his son, but he got a better idea. He looked down at Kay, who was staring back eagerly.

"Sick him." He said with a smile.

"My pleasure!" Kay yelled, hopping onto the bed and jumping around Sesshomaru.

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru yelled.

"Jumping on Fluffy!" Kay sang, making sure not to really jump on him. Finally he sat up, pushing the girl down onto the bed. He stood up and glared.

"I'm up!" he yelled, grabbing his shirt and fluff before storming down the hallway to take a bath. Kay giggled as Inutaisho pulled her off the bed and stood her up, fixing her kimono.

"Hahaha, you're my new weapon against the forces of my son!" he laughed, walking out the door.

"Yay! I'm bad ass!" she cheered, running after him. He walked into his study and moaned when he saw the stack of papers that needed signing. He sat down and started sifting through them. He got to his fifth one and saw that Kay was gone.

"Oh…shit." he said, running out of the room. He sniffed around and saw that her scent had completely vanished.

"Haha, catch me now." Kay said, running down the hallway. She saw Inutaisho pick up a trace of her and she ran down another hallway and opened a huge door, running into the room and closing the door. She turned around and realized she had hidden in the bathroom, where bathing goes on, where Sesshomaru was bathing. She looked over and saw that he had his fluff next to the in ground tub, which was weird since they were upstairs, but he was sleeping on the fluff, half of him in the tub and the other half not.

"Jesus Christ!" Kay whispered, looking around. She spotted another door on the other side of the room and exhaled slowly, making sure not to make a noise while walking around the sleeping Sesshomaru. She walked silently, looking at Sesshomaru to make sure he wasn't waking. She sped up to get past him, but his arm flew out and grabbed her ankle, pulling her to the floor.

"Ahhh!" she screamed as Sesshomaru pulled her to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked tiredly.

"I was just getting to that door!" she insisted.

"Really? How about I just call my father in here?"

"No, please don't! Please, I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Except have sex with you! But other than that, anything!"

"Let me think for a minute."

"Sesshomaru, have you seen Kay?" Inutaisho called from the door. Sesshomaru smiled evilly at Kay, who shook her head "no" while pleading silently to him.

"No Father, I have not." Sesshomaru replied calmly. Kay exhaled and smiled with relief.

"Well, her scent stopped here, so, I guess it's another one of her tricks." Inutaisho continued.

"I suppose so." Sesshomaru replied, still smiling at Kay.

"Hurry up, your mother and suitor should be here soon." Inutaisho said, running away. Sesshomaru growled and let go of Kay.

"Here's the deal, my young friend, I will not speak of you hiding in here with me while I am naked, and you shall help me with getting rid of this suitor of mine. Do we have an agreement?" he asked, subconsciously making sure his "carriage" wasn't showing. Kay gulped and frowned.

"How am I supposed to help? Your dad is making me hang with him the whole time." she asked.

"Did he tell you that? He's leaving again, with my mother, to go and talk with my suitor's parents across the ocean into the mainland. They will be gone for a while, and during that time, you will be helping me, correct?"

"Huh? Yes, I will, but I was just needing that opening and now that I have it, your suitor, whoever he or she is, will not want to marry you even if their life depended on it."

"I just hope it isn't a man again."

"Hahahaha, that was great in so many ways."

"Alright, you can either stay in here with me, or you can face my father, but if you stay with me, I don't want you watching."

"I will stare at the damn wall." Kay said, spinning around and staring at said wall. Sesshomaru quickly washed up and stepped out of the tub.

"Don't look." He ordered. Kay snorted.

"What? Penis too small?" she asked arrogantly.

"Keep it up." He warned. Kay exhaled and lit a curtain on fire. She simply waved it out and continued her staring contest with the wall. Sesshomaru dried off with a towel and pulled a robe over himself while picking up his fluff and wrapping it around his shoulder.

"Let's go." He ordered, briskly walking out of the room. Kay followed him down the hallway only to regret it when Inutaisho showed up. Sesshomaru turned to his father and smiled.

"I found her." Sesshomaru said with slight amusement in his voice while presenting Kay with his hand. Kay hid behind his leg to avoid any death stares.

"Really? Well, where did you _find _her?" Inutaisho asked, sensing his son's amusement.

"In the last place I looked." Sesshomaru replied simply.

"I sure as hell hope she was in the last place you looked, smart ass! I'd hate to be stuck in some damn alternate dimension!" Inutaisho growled, not amused by his son.

"Father, you seem tired, I'll look after Kay for a while." Sesshomaru offered, walking away. Kay trotted after him hurriedly, hoping Inutaisho wouldn't eat her. She jumped on the bed when they entered the room and sighed.

"Thanks for not saying anything." She said to Sesshomaru. He looked at her and smirked.

"You're welcome, now, can I still depend on you to hold your end of the deal up?"

"Hell yeah. Actually, what exactly do you need me to do?"

"How annoying can you be?"

"How annoying do you want me to be?"

"I want you at your best."

"Then my best is what I'll give you...or her."

"Good." He replied, motioning for Kay to turn around. She took a face dive into the pillows to show she wasn't interested in watching a demon strip. Sesshomaru dropped his robe and quickly pulled his cream-white pants on. He pulled on a short-sleeved shirt and then pulled a cream-white kimono shirt with Hawaiian-looking flowers on it. He finished off with his fluff and turned around.

"You can look now." He said. Kay leaned up and turned around. Sesshomaru saw a smile pierce across her face, but she quickly pushed her need to smile away.

"Did your mom pick that out for you?" she asked.

"…Yes."

"Ok then."

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason." She replied, picking up the guitar her mother left for her. She pulled the strap over her shoulder and strummed the strings. Sesshomaru couldn't help but to cock his head in curiosity.

"Can you cause any annoyance with that?" he asked, crossing his arms inside of his sleeves. Kay looked up at him with a dark, evil, mischief filled face.

"Oh…I can cause so much annoyance with this thing it's not even funny."

"Then why are you smiling?"

"Because, I smile at things people would cry at." She replied, strumming a few more notes.

"Good, but don't start until my suitor gets here and parents are gone."

"Oh, yeah, I'm not that dumb." She insisted, placing the guitar on the bed and following Sesshomaru out of the room. He walked down the stairs while Kay rode on the railing. They reached the bottom and Sesshomaru caught Kay before she flew into the wall.

"Be careful…we can't have you denting our nice, marble wall." Sesshomaru said, placing her on the floor.

"Be careful…we can't have me making your face look prettier by punching it." Kay retorted while crossing her arms. Sesshomaru chuckled as he pat her on the head. The doors opened and in came his mother. She ran up to Sesshomaru and straightened his kimono and made sure his hair was in place.

"Mother, stop." He snapped quietly.

"You look so handsome! I don't see how she won't like you!" she squealed.

"It's up to the fact if I like her, which I won't."

"Not with an attitude like that."

"I don't want to marry."

"I don't want to die without having baby grandchildren."

"Too bad. Go have sex with Father and have another kid. Stop making me have one."

"You may be handsome, but you are nowhere near charming. Have I not taught you anything?"

"No."

"You're such a smart ass. Please, at the least, be sweet? Please?"

"I will be sweet, Mother." He replied. She smiled and ran out to walk in their new guest.

_'But that doesn't mean Kay will be sweet.' _Sesshomaru thought, looking down upon his secret weapon of undoing his mother's matchmaking. Kay looked up at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Stop staring at me while thinking about me…it's weird and you would be considered a child molester." She said soullessly. Sesshomaru ruffled up her hair with his hand before looking up. Kay whined as she attempted to fix her hair back to the mess it once was.

"Sesshomaru, this is," his mother began.

"Hahaha, she looks like some girl I knew named Ling Chow." Kay snickered. Sesshomaru elbowed her sharply.

"Kay, be nice." He said. Kay sighed and crossed her arms.

"This is Lady Li-Fen." Kimi said, smiling.

"Combination of beautiful and pleasant scent? She smells like a sack of shit." Kay mumbled. Sesshomaru ruffled her hair playfully.

"Silence yourself." He said sharply. Kimi walked Li-Fen up to Sesshomaru to introduce them.

"This is my son, Sesshomaru." Kimi said kindly. Kay yawned and stepped back. Li-Fen smiled at Sesshomaru and looked down at Kay, who was trying to slip past everyone.

"Who is this half-breed? Your pet?" Li-Fen asked snobbishly. This caught Kay's attention, and not the good side.

"Oh, no you didn't, bitch!" Kay snapped angrily, eyes flashing a hellish red red. Sesshomaru stepped in front of Kay.

"She's the daughter of a friend of my father. Refrain from angering her, I don't want to have to deal with both of you." Sesshomaru growled. Li-Fen frowned, but stepped back anyway.

"Well, now that we all know each other…your father and I have to go." Kimi said uncomfortably. Sesshomaru groaned.

"Be nice, be sweet, be charming…or else." She whispered in her son's ear.

"Or else what? I'm your only gateway to having grandchildren." Sesshomaru said back smugly. Kimi sighed as Inutaisho tripped down the last stair.

"Ahhh! Damn stairs! Someone should put a warning label on that one!" he barked angrily. He strode past Kay and stopped, realizing a big mistake he was making for leaving her there. He turned around and bent down, motioning for Kay to come closer. She smiled and stepped up boldly.

"Look, I know you can behave, but you choose not to. So, you'd better choose to behave or I will have to tell your father how bad you've been." He said seriously. Kay smiled and leaned closer.

"Look, I'm not five years old and I can take any punishment anyone gives to me, so, by all means, tell my dad about what I've done and will do." She replied slyly.

"All right, I'm sure he will be very disappointed in you." Inutaisho continued. He saw Kay's eyes flicker red.

"Disappointed in me?" she asked coldly. She leaned closer to Inutaisho's ear and smiled.

"Do you really think I give a damn about what my father thinks of me?" she stated cruelly, sending a shiver down Inutaisho's spine. He stood up without making eye contact with the girl and walked over to his son.

"Sesshomaru," Inutaisho began. Sesshomaru looked at his father with pure hatred.

"What?" he snapped, indicating his suitor was worse than the last, which was a man.

"Kay is acting very weird and…cold, so, be careful."

"Sure, I'll watch her while trying to peel this bitch off of me." Sesshomaru growled as Li-Fen waved seductively at him. Inutaisho frowned.

"I'm serious, I think the seal is weakening, so do not anger her."

"I won't have the time or patience to anger her, Father. Now go, before Mother angers me because of you being an idiot."

"All right, bye, and try to be nice."

"Right." Sesshomaru said sarcastically as his father ran to the door. He looked at Kay and saw a malicious smile upon her face. When Inutaisho was finally gone, she chuckled silently as she started to walk upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Sesshomaru asked, making sure she hadn't forgotten the deal. She turned to him with boredom and grinned.

"I'm tired." She replied as she continued making her way upstairs. Sesshomaru sighed depressingly, now he has to deal with Li-Fen by himself for however long Kay planned to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Buttsecks

AN- Hahahahaha! Title has nothing to do with this chapter…I think. Once again, I have run out of title ideas. I'm a decent writer, have written two (Inuyasha) stories previous of this one, but I can't come up with a simple title. I'm such a disgrace…oh well, best not wallow in my grief. XD

Disclaimer- Unfortunately for Inuyasha fans, I do not own the manga Inuyasha. If I did, the series would've been less than 500 fricken books. Also, the anime would still be playing…and no, ladies and some men, Sesshomaru would still be single.

Claimer- I own Kay. I own 30. I own three guinea pigs. One day, I will own the world.

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Kay clutched her stomach as she turned in the bed. She groaned as it stung more and more.

"Damn! This is worse than having my arm chopped off! And why do I sense pure irony from that statement?" she moaned, pushing the warm covers off of her. She curled up in a ball and turned over, only wishing she hadn't when her stomach seared with more pain. She stood up and slowly walked to the mirror. She opened her kimono and reached for the bandages.

"No, I am not interested in you!" she heard Sesshomaru bark as Li-Fen tried to seduce him. Kay cursed and quickly closed her kimono, crawling into the bed. She pulled the covers over her and tried her best to act sick.

"But Sesshomaru, I am the only suitable mate and wife for you!" Li-Fen called pathetically.

"Let's get something straight here, only I decide who is right for me, only I decide when I want to marry, only I decide whether I want children or not. Now, I have to check on Kay, it's part of my job. Plus, my father and mother would be livid if I let anything happen to the girl, so please, shut up." He growled, closing the door in Li-Fen's face. Kay heard him exhale with relief as he walked over to the bed.

"What happened to that little promise of ours?" he asked as he sat on the bed next to her. Kay turned over as she pushed the covers off of her.

"I'm not feeling good." She said with a weak glare. Sesshomaru placed his hand on her forehead and frowned.

"You are running a fever." He said, getting up.

"It came so sudden, sorry dude." She replied, rubbing her pain-filled stomach. Sesshomaru opened the door, dodged a hug, and called for the servants.

"Yes sir?" one of them asked, bowing.

"You, bring cold water and rags. You, take Li-Fen and do something with her." he ordered, closing the door to muffle complaints. He turned back to Kay, who was gripping a pillow that she had over her face tightly.

"You're not sick, you're in pain." He said, walking back to the young girl. He pulled the pillow from her face and sat down next to her.

"What hurts?" he asked as the girl continuously pushed his hand away.

"Nothing, I'm just sick." She growled.

"Kay, I'm not a moron,"

"You fooled me."

"Tell me what is causing you pain."

"My back!"

"Then why are you holding your stomach?"

"Then why are you asking questions that you already know the answers to?"

"Just to piss you off! Is it working?" Sesshomaru yelled angrily. He was trying to help and she was making it harder, such childish games.

"Yes it is!"

"Let me help you!"

"No!"

"That wasn't a suggestion, it was an order! Move your hands!"

"Dude, seriously, get away!"

"Not until after I help you!"

"Get away!"

"No!"

"NOW!" Kay roared, pushing Sesshomaru onto the floor. He looked up at her gasped. Her eyes were a hellish red, as were her two, jagged, crimson stripes upon each cheek and hand.

"Kay?" he asked calmly. Kay held her hands up to her head as she passed out on the bed. Sesshomaru stood up and looked down at Kay, who was snoozing away like any other day. (Ew, it rhymed.) Sesshomaru exhaled and opened the door so the maids could take care of the girl.

"Don't leave her side." Sesshomaru ordered them as he walked out. He walked down the hallway and felt a sharp pain on his chest.

"Hm? What's this?" he asked, pulling his kimono open. He frowned when he saw a burn on his chest, about the size of a small child's hand. Sesshomaru pulled his shirt closed and continued on down the hallway. He let out a low growl as Li-Fen came running to him, almost as if she was his best friend and they haven't seen each other in years. He stepped aside and let her fall when she tried to hug him.

"Why are you so mean to me?" she asked, getting up and brushing her green robe/dress off.

"Do not act as if we are friends." Sesshomaru said simply as he made his way to the dinning area. Li-Fen sighed and pulled on her long, dark brown hair before following him. He ordered for chicken and leaned against the table, indicating he was tired.

"You seem even more tired, was it that little half-breed?" Li-Fen asked. Sesshomaru frowned as he remembered what happened. He yawned with boredom. Usually, he and Kay were having their little verbal arguments by now, or they would be fighting outside. Even though fighting with her was immature, it was still entertaining to watch her facial expressions when he got her.

"Are you ignoring me?" Li-Fen whined.

"Now I'm not." Sesshomaru replied, sipping out of a teacup. He heard a loud thump upstairs and looked up, hoping nothing of value was broken. He heard quick footsteps come down the stairs and walked over to the door, only to have it fly open and hit him in the face.

"Ahh! Damn it!" he roared as he sat up. There _she_ stood, along with the two maids that were taking care of her, and two guards.

"Oops." One of the guards said, preparing to have his head chopped off.

"That wasn't an oops! That was a fuck up times ten! Do it again, you're going to die anyway!" Kay said happily while concealing a laugh. Sesshomaru stood up and glared at the guard, who pointed to the other guard who pointed to a maid, while both maids pointed to Kay, who was pointing at herself with both hands.

"Why am I not surprised?" Sesshomaru said as he glared at Kay.

"Because, once upon a time, you had a six foot icicle shoved up your ass, therefore nothing surprises you anymore." She retorted as she crossed her arms.

"Once upon a time, I killed a lot of men, therefore I can easily kill a young girl."

"You killed a lot of men?"

"Yes."

"Before or after you raped them?" she asked with a small smile of victory.

Sesshomaru stumbled on that one and he had no comeback, so, he looked up at his loyal servants, and even though one hit him with a door, he let them go with their lives.

"Are you hungry?" Sesshomaru asked Kay, closing the abusive door behind her.

"Yep!" she chirped, finding a spot right next to Sesshomaru, who sat down beside her peacefully. The servants brought the chicken out and Sesshomaru smirked as Kay's face lit up with that look children get when they're about to annoy the living Hell out of someone.

"Dude! Chicken makes me hard!" she yelled, holding her hands up like she was on a roller coaster.

"How can it make you hard when you have no penis?" Li-Fen asked, thinking she could win a verbal fight with a twelve-year old.

"Tch! For your information, Ling Chow, I have a penis. I named him Oswald." Kay retorted, eating a few pieces of chicken viciously.

"You named your small penis Oswald?" Li-Fen continued, eating her chicken once piece at a time.

"My penis is huge, Ling Chow."

"Stop calling me Ling Chow."

"I will call you whatever I find necessary."

"Call me by something else, preferably my name."

"Ok cunt face."

"That's not my name!"

"Oops…it isn't? Hahaha, my badness."

"You are so disrespectful! The only thing you should be doing is entertaining me and Sesshomaru while we have a romantic dinner together!"

"Would you like me to entertain?"

"Yes, slave!"

"Ok…I take a look at my enormous penis and all my troubles start melting away! I take a look at my enormous peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis and everything is going my way!" Kay sang loudly as Sesshomaru choked on a piece of chicken from concealing his laughter. He swallowed a drink and shook his head, wondering if it was wise to let her continue singing about her enormous penis.

"Kay, finished your food, then you can sing about whatever you want." Sesshomaru said, pulling her off the table.

"Even shirtless women?" she asked hopefully.

"Even shirtless women."

"You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"Eat." He commanded. Kay's mouth turned into a vacuum as she inhaled the last of her chicken quickly.

"Disgusting half-breed." Li-Fen growled from across the table.

"Call me that one more time and I will knock your teeth so damn far down your throat, you're going to have to drop your pants to chew your food!" Kay snapped. Sesshomaru nodded as he wrote that comeback down in his head.

"I am going to bed!" Li-Fen yelled angrily.

"Bye." Sesshomaru said.

"Sleep tight and don't let the half-breeds bite!" Kay yelled after her, drinking the rest of her tea. She looked at Sesshomaru pleadingly.

"How was that?" she asked.

"Great. Very…entertaining." He replied, searching for words that wouldn't show how impressed he was.

"Cool. Don't worry, Sesshomaru, I haven't even started yet. That was a teaser."

"Oh boy, I'm so excited." Sesshomaru replied dryly. Kay pushed him playfully and yawned.

"Oh, sorry about earlier. I don't know what came over me, it was really weird." She said, balancing a chopstick on her finger. It fell off and she frowned with failure.

"Don't worry about it." Sesshomaru replied, standing up and walking out. Kay followed and moaned as he walked to his room.

"Oh, come ON! I've slept all day!" she whined, blowing a flame out. Sesshomaru glared at her.

"I'm tired." He said back, pulling his fluff off. He sat it down and Kay immediately attacked it.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she stood up shyly and brushed herself off.

"Sorry, I've been wanting to do that since day one." She admitted sheepishly. Sesshomaru crawled on the bed and collapsed on his back. Kay jumped on the other side and took a face dive into the pillows, soon passing out from boredom.

Later that night, Kay had the blankets pulled over her to block out any potential light. She turned in her sleep as her dreams swirled in her mind.

"We're going to kill the unicorn tonight." She mumbled as she turned again. She felt two hands on her shoulders and she quickly sat up, head butting whoever was touching her.

"Ahhh!" Li-Fen screamed as she fell on the floor.

"Ahhhhh! Shit! Ling Chow! What the Hell, man?" Kay roared, angry that she was awakened before the sun was up. Sesshomaru sat up and growled at the noise.

"Li-Fen, what do you think you're doing?" he barked angrily.

"I wanted to sleep with you!" she yelled back.

"Whoa, um, I can leave…or you two can have that side of the bed and I'll have this side." Kay said seriously. She saw Sesshomaru's heated glare fall upon her.

"Hahaha, or I can leave." Kay said with a smile. Sesshomaru stood up and jumped off the bed gracefully.

"Dude, come on, put a shirt on!" Kay yelled, realizing he was sleeping shirtless with her again.

"I cannot sleep when I am too hot, so no, I will not put a shirt on!" he yelled.

"It's weird! How would you like it if I got in bed with you with no shirt on?" Kay whined.

"I would think nothing of it, considering you have nothing to show." He said back slyly, noticing he touched upon a touchy subject. Kay swallowed and then smiled.

'_Oh no, here she goes.' _Sesshomaru thought horridly.

"You're right, mine are small, compared to yours!" She retorted. Sesshomaru turned to her, forgetting about Ling Chow, Li-Fen, whatever her name was.

"I don't have breasts."

"Like Hell you don't! Yours are massive!"

"No they aren't!"

"Man boobs!"

"Stop it!"

"Dude tits!"

"Shut up!"

"Hahaha, would you like to borrow my bra? I don't need them nearly as much as you!"

"Damn it, I said shut up!"

"Female man has big man boobs!"

"Why are you two in bed together?" Li-Fen yelled jealously. Sesshomaru and Kay now turned their attention on her.

"We are doing breast examinations on each other to check for cancer and to see whose boobs are bigger! What the Hell do you think we are doing, Ling Chow? We're sleeping! Get out!" Kay yelled angrily. Sesshomaru opened his door and pushed Li-Fen out. He slammed his door and walked over to his side of the bed, crawling in and sighing. He looked over at Kay, who was staring daggers at the ceiling and was gripping the blanket hard.

"I meant nothing by it." Sesshomaru said tiredly. Kay looked over at him and smiled.

"I win." She said, turning over and falling asleep.

"Oooh, if I could just…damn it!" Sesshomaru growled as he turned away from her.


	7. Chapter 7

Random Chapter of Uncharted Events

AN- Ok, listening to Billy Idol while writing isn't smart, gives me way too many dirty thoughts. This story has more readers than I thought, thanks guys for reviewing.

Kay quietly slipped out of bed on her fifth attempt to escape. She was trying once more not to wake the sleeping dog demon. She sighed and got on her stomach, softly sliding across the floor to the door. She reached the door and opened it slowly and gently. She stepped out into the hallway and smiled with victory.

"Get back in here." The demon said tiredly. Kay cursed and backed up, closing the door and walking to the bed. She crawled back in and stared at the ceiling, thinking of another way to get out.

"Maybe you shouldn't try the door again." Sesshomaru said to the girl, smirking sadistically.

"Maybe you should just shut the hell up and let me think." She said back, poking her forehead to make her brain work better.

"Maybe you should wait for me to fall asleep next time."

"Maybe I should just kill you in your sleep."

"You are the most bitter child I have ever met."

"So?" Kay said back, looking around and devising another plan. She sighed and sat up quickly. She started a flame in her hand and split it in two, juggling them skillfully in the air.

"Don't light my bed on fire." Sesshomaru ordered.

"I'll light your mom on fire." Kay retorted sarcastically as she added a third and fourth flame to the show. Sesshomaru cradled his head in his arms as he watched the flames. Kay looked at him once in a while to see if he was asleep.

_'I'm going to catch her again. Just one more time.' _Sesshomaru thought, closing his eyes and slowing his breathing down. Kay looked at him and smiled.

_'I'm not that stupid, you dickhead.' _Kay also thought as she blew out the flames. She slid closer to him, making sure not to be noticeable. She got right next to him and smiled, raising her hand in the air. She balled it in a fist and came down hard on the family jewels, sending Sesshomaru into a dimension of pissed off and pain that he had never entered before in his entire life. He rolled off the bed, clutching his baggage, and lay on his back on the floor, writhing in pain.

"I told you I would kill you in your sleep. Whether I kill you, or your future kids."

"Kay!" Sesshomaru roared angrily, finally overcoming his pain as he sat up.

"Sesshomaru." She said back with a huge smile. Sesshomaru lunged after her, but Kay was thinking quickly. She had already rolled to the other side of the bed, heading towards the door. Kay flung the door open, hitting Sesshomaru in the face with it once more. She jogged down the hallway with him following behind.

"It's so easy to predict your every move!" she called back to him. Kay turned around and was met with Li-Fen and her small army of men who stayed behind with her. They all wore the customary jade green clothing with gilded armor. Kay's eyes widened as a sword's blade flew at her, but she threw her arm up in defense, allowing it to be cut instead of her face and shot a flame at Li-Fen, knocking her backwards along with a few of her men.

"Kay, get down!" Sesshomaru yelled. Kay got down and swung her leg across the floor, sending an arc of flames at the soldiers' feet, tripping them. Sesshomaru landed in front of Kay and melted the army and Li-Fen away with his poison. There were still pieces of the bodies and armor left, but they weren't about to stand up and apologize.

"Well, that was epic." Kay said, cocking her eyebrow as Sesshomaru turned around to face her

"Do you have anything to say to me?" he asked, inferring for a simple thanks.

"Yeah, put a damn shirt on." Kay said back, turning around and walking down the hallway, looking at the cut on her arm. It wasn't deep, but it stung like a bitch. Kay saw Sesshomaru's hand grab her wrist and pull her down the hallway.

"What now?" Kay asked him, looking back at the maids cleaning the mess of bodies. He sat her on the table in the infirmary and Kay laughed.

"Hahaha! It's a small cut! Get over it!" she said, pointing to the cut.

"That's not why we are here." He said, taking her bandages from her stomach off.

"Uh, rape?" she asked. He tore the last of them off and pointed in the mirror.

"I'm tired of being in the dark about this. What does that mean?" he demanded. Kay frowned and walked closer to the mirror, puffing her stomach out.

"Oh my God!" she screamed.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I look pregnant when I do this." She said casually as she stuck her stomach out more.

"Hahahaha! It's like one of those 'Before' and 'After' commercials they do." She said, puffing her stomach out again.

"Before…after…before…after…before…after." Kay chanted, sucking her stomach in and out for each word.

"Kay, stay on track. What is that thing on your stomach?" Sesshomaru said, almost wanting to hit her as hard as possible.

"Well, I don't really know. I think it's a spell of some kind. I need to brush up on my Harry Potter skills." She said, tracing the scar with her finger.

"I know it's a spell to trap your…uh…a strong demon, but why you? Why did your father use you?" Sesshomaru asked her, forgetting that she knew nothing as well.

"Hm? My dad did this to me? Wow, I knew he didn't like me that much, but damn, he's been sipping on some Hater-aid or something." She said with an unchanged attitude.

"You said your father did not like you?"

"Well, I'm third out of four, I don't get that much attention. That's one of the reasons why Gramps took me under his wing. Neither of my parents really liked me because my grandpa liked me and I wasn't important enough to be liked by the likes of them." She said, smiling at her overuse of "like."

"Really now? Tell me, what happened the day you came here? Before you went to sleep?"

"Well, uh, let's see. I played games, talked to my friends, talked to my grandpa, smoked weed while watching Gandhi and then I went to sleep. I had troubles falling asleep, so my dad brought me in a glass of water that night and…oh God…I think he drugged me."

"He drugged you?"

"Yeah! Water never made me go to sleep! It just made me have to go take a piss! That bastard drugged me! Damn it!"

"So he drugged you and then used you to seal away your…uh…a strong demon. That is very odd."

"Tch! A lion mothering a baby gazelle is odd! An 80-year-old human man driving faster than 50 miles per hour is odd! My dad drugging me so he can carve this stupid thing in my stomach to seal away some damn demon is fucked up!"

"Calm down, Kay. I'm starting to think your parents didn't bring you to us for protective reasons."

"Me too! Dude, this is so pissy!" Kay yelled, pulling her kimono shut and tucking it inside her pants. She slid around on her socks and sighed.

"Can we get out of here?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Will you put a fucking shirt on?"

"Stop talking like some ignorant creature."

"Make me." Kay growled, following him back to his room. Sesshomaru pulled his shirt on and grabbed his fluff.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her, pitying her situation.

"Uh, take a bath without your assistance?" she asked. Sesshomaru held his arm out in the direction of the bathing room.

"I will not assist you, but I will be in a room nearby. So, if someone attacks you, don't be too shy to scream." He said with a smile, walking to a room across the hall of the bathroom.

"Yeah right, by the time you get in here, I will have already shoved my seven and a half inch foot up the crack of their ass." Kay shot back, trotting into the room where maids awaited for her directions.

"We are pouring the water in right now, do you want us to warm it as well?" a woman asked. Kay smiled arrogantly.

"I warm my own water. Thanks though." Kay insisted as the maids poured the last of the buckets into the tub. Kay shooed the women out, insisting on a bath for one. Kay stripped off her clothes and jumped into the water.

"OH MY GOD! THAT IS FUCKING COLD!" she screamed. Across the hallway, Sesshomaru looked up from his book and shook his head.

"Imbecile." He said as he chuckled.

"God damn it! Jesus Christ! Mary and Joseph!" Kay yelled again as she slammed her fist into her palm, heating the water up instantly.

Quite a few minutes pass and Sesshomaru felt relieved now that it was quiet. He looked up and strained his ears to hear anything from Kay.

"I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs, and a bathroom I can play baseball in, and a king size tub big enough for ten plus me." He heard her sing as she enjoyed the warm water.

A few more minutes later, it was again, too quiet for Sesshomaru. He strained his ears again to see if she was dead, alive, choking on water, anything.

"Dance, too much booty in the pants! Dance, too much booty in the pants! Dance!" she sang once again. Sesshomaru nodded with confusion, but went back to his reading.

Even more minutes later, the demon dog felt that the silence was too abnormal for the girl. He decided to listen on her again.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" she said again, placing her arm in the water.

"Ahh! Son of a dick, you hurt too!" she hissed as she placed her hand over her cut. She kept that arm out and relaxed once more.

"Mock…yeah…Ing…yeah…Bird…yeah…Yeah…yeah!" she sang again.

Sesshomaru had sat the book he was reading down. He was too busy listening to Kay's weird, yet entertaining songs.

"Oh yeah mother fucker, we're gonna kick you in your fucking derriere! You broke the rules, so now we'll pull out your pubic haaaaaair! Ya mother fucker!" Kay sang while laughing. Apparently, she thinks this is fun too.

A while after that, Sesshomaru got up and walked to the door of the bathroom. He leaned his ear against the door, and because of his awesome luck, the door opened, sending him flying to the floor. He looked up and saw Kay with a robe on and a towel wrapped around her head.

"Yes?" she asked him.

"You are a lovely singer." Sesshomaru said dryly.

"Hahahaha! Yeah, I get bored easily."

"I can tell."

"Yep. So…what do _you_ want to do?"


	8. Chapter 8

Hell's Kitchen Hasn't Got Shit On Us

Sesshomaru and Kay stared at one another from across a huge table. Kay's lips turned up slightly in arrogance as Sesshomaru's brow furrowed.

"It's impossible." Sesshomaru said simply.

"Not unless you're me."

"You can't make it."

"Stop talking and allow me to try."

"Fine, but if I'm right,"

"I know, I know, I have to worship you for three days…but if I can do it,"

"Then I must do exactly as you say for three days."

"Now that we have that settled…LET'S GET IT OOOOOONNNNN!" Kay yelled, grabbing a cherry. Sesshomaru tilted his head back and opened his mouth. Kay aimed for a minute and tossed it in the air. Sesshomaru watched as his freedom went into the air and fell in his mouth like a raindrop in a pond. He chewed the tasty, yet not so blissful cherry and swallowed it.

"Oh! I be ballin'!" Kay cheered, pretending to shoot a basketball.

"Fine, you win." He growled, crossing his arms.

"I'll make a proposition for you. If you can make one into my mouth at the exact same distance, you can have your freedom, and I can have mine."

"You have yourself a deal." Sesshomaru said cockily as Kay slid the huge bowl of fruit down to him. Kay tilted her head back and opened her mouth. Sesshomaru smirked as he grabbed an apple and chucked it at her, nailing her in the mouth. She squealed as she fell backwards, pulling the fruit out of her mouth and glaring at the demon dog angrily. Sesshomaru looked down and saw only her angry eyes above the table.

"Damn it! You about took my head off!" she yelled, standing up.

"Too bad it didn't happen." Sesshomaru replied with a smile, only for that smile to disappear as the now flaming apple nailed him in the forehead.

"Ha! Take it like the bitch you are!" Kay yelled with an amused grin. Sesshomaru stood up with another apple and threw it with all of his might. Kay ducked under the table as the apple smashed against the wall. She jumped up and caught the next apple and ducked again as one more apple hit the wall. Kay saw Sesshomaru's legs briskly coming towards her. She got on her stomach and kicked off of the leg of the table, skillfully sliding down the opposite end of Sesshomaru. She jumped up from underneath the table, chucked the apple at him. He cleanly dodged it and threw an apple he had with him at her. Kay jumped and did the splits in mid-air as the apple passed by her crotch and hit the wall. Kay grabbed a handful of cherries and started hurling them at Sesshomaru. One flew by his head and he smirked.

"Cherries do not hurt that ba…ahhhh!" he choked as one flew right into his mouth. Kay started rolling as Sesshomaru tried to hack the fruit up.

"Hahahaha! I wasn't even aiming for the huge hole in your face!" she said. Sesshomaru swallowed the small fruit hard and stood up, hell bent for revenge. Kay hurled three cherries at him, all which he caught in between his fingers.

"Dude, you are such a chick!" Kay yelled with frustration as she dodged a cherry. The next one hit her in the eye.

"Hahahaha!" Sesshomaru laughed, forgetting he wasn't one to care about fun.

"Ahhh! Duuuuuude! That was my fucking eye, man!" she moaned.

"I know, that's why it's amusing to hit you there!"

"Tch! I'll hit you with my damn car, you dog!" Kay hollered, throwing a pear at him. Sesshomaru ducked and watched as the fruit smashed with force against the wall.

"You've got quite the arm there." He admitted.

"Yeah, watch it work!" Kay said back, hurling another two pears at him. Sesshomaru caught one and let the other perish on the messy wall. He threw the pair back and nailed a servant who was walking in with the bazooka of all fruits…watermelon. There were four of them. Sesshomaru grimaced as Kay quickly rolled them behind her side of the table.

"Here, I'll make it fair! You have two and will I have the other two!" she said, rolling two of them his way. He grabbed them and placed them under his side of the table while dodging more cherries. Sesshomaru grabbed a watermelon with one hand and jumped in the air, perfect view of Kay, and hurled it at her.

"Holy shit!" she screeched, diving under the table to avoid being struck. The huge fruit smashed open on the table. She grabbed her watermelon and held it over her head, chucking it hard. Sesshomaru jumped to the side and watched as the watermelon smashed up on the ceiling. Sesshomaru landed and ducked as more cherries and pears flew at him. Kay grabbed a lemon and sliced it open, waiting for him to come up.

"Is that it…ahhhh!" Sesshomaru yelped as the sour fruit entered his mouth.

"Hahahahaha! Taste good?" she asked smugly as his face twisted in disgust. He ripped it out and hurled it, striking her in the eye.

"Oh God! Shit, piss, ass, damn, fuck!" she screamed as her eye stung. Kay ducked down and grabbed her last remaining watermelon. Sesshomaru ducked, Kay knew damn well that he wasn't under the table. She positioned the watermelon in her hands like a basketball and shot it. Sesshomaru felt a force hit him in the back, along with red juices spilling over his hair, clothes, face and chest. He stood up slowly as the rinds of the watermelon fell off of him.

"Uh oh!" Kay screamed as Sesshomaru picked up his watermelon and started chasing her. He had nothing to lose now. They circled around and around the table, faster and clumsier. The floor was wet from juices and the wall was now a fruity waterfall. Kay slipped and slid, avoiding Sesshomaru and the bazooka of fruits at all costs. She made a run for the door, hoping she would make it before being nailed. The door flew open, Inutaisho and Kimi smiling happily.

"Children! We're," was all he could get out before the watermelon smashed against his armored chest, splattering all over him.

"…home." He finished dryly as he licked the sweet juices from his lips.

"Oh…damn." Sesshomaru said as a drop of sweet, watermelon juice trickled down his own cheek.

"Oh shizzy nizzy! We're in deep shit now!" Kay yelled, backing up to team with Sesshomaru. Inutaisho walked in and looked around.

"Oh dear gods! What the hell have you done to my dinning room?" he asked, examining every crushed fruit in the room.

"Nothing." Both Kay and Sesshomaru said sarcastically. Inutaisho glanced at the out cold servant, compliments of Sesshomaru, and then laid his eyes upon his son and half-demon.

"Sesshomaru, I assume you wish to wash off?" the demon lord asked, trying to hide his anger.

"Yes?" Sesshomaru replied, knowing something was wrong with this picture.

"Well, I too, wish to wash off and I refuse to bathe with my son."

"I agree."

"So you will be bathing in the icy-cold river just outside the palace."

"That's fine, I do not really care." Sesshomaru said, walking past his father and heading to the door.

"Sesshomaru wait!" Kay called fretfully. He turned around to the girl, whose face was filled with seriousness and worry.

"Your small penis will cease to exist if you bathe in cold water! Don't do it!" she called out, face serious, but eyes wanting to water from inner laughter. Sesshomaru glared at the girl as she fell into a laughing fit, as did his father. His mother was already upstairs, doing whatever, but she would be laughing too. Sesshomaru gave Kay a low, beast-like growl before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Hahahahaha! Don't think that I haven't got anything planned for you, young lady!" Inutaish chuckled as he led Kay out from the room and upstairs. She yawned with boredom and followed the taiyoukai upstairs. He led her into his study and pointed at a spot right next to where he sat. She sat down and crossed her arms, but her face showed no emotion. Inutaisho sat next to her and started signing documents. Kay frowned and realized that he wanted her to be quiet and well behaved. She let out a quiet sigh and stared off into space.

About an hour later, Sesshomaru walked into the room with an all white outfit on. He walked up to the desk and sat down in front of his father. Inutaisho looked at Kay and motioned for her to join his son. She slid next to Sesshomaru and crossed her arms once more, already ticked at how she felt like a tame beast.

"Now, as punishment, you two are going to clean up your mess in the dinning room and you are to have dinner ready for four people. Do I make myself clear?" Inutaisho asked with a smile of pure amusement.

_'Ooooooh! I just want to rip his face off and wipe my ass with it!' _Kay thought angrily.

_'Clean and cook? Well, I know I will never throw fruit at my father again.' _Sesshomaru thought sarcastically.

"Yes, you do." Both of the culprits chanted with boredom. They got up, walked out of the study, down the stairs and into the dinning room. Their eyes widened as they saw Kimi, along with a few servants, trashing the dinning room even more.

"What the fuck is this bullshit?" Kay asked furiously.

"Oh, well, we are teaching you a lesson. If you're going to trash a room, you might as well trash the whole room. Have fun, you two!" Kimi chirped as she and the servants scurried out of the room, leaving Sesshomaru and Kay glaring at each other.

"This is all your fault!" they yelled at each other simultaneously. They growled for a few seconds before turning around to begin their work.

A few hours later, Kay and Sesshomaru washed their hands as they prepared to make dinner.

"What should me make?" Sesshomaru asked as he dried his hands off.

"Are your parents immune to poison?" Kay asked bitterly. Sesshomaru nodded and she cursed.

"I guess I have a better idea…I think my mom packed me a bottle of the hottest hot sauce in the world. Hahaha, we should use it." Kay said, running upstairs. She opened her bag and ripped the bottle out, kissing it. She ran back down and presented it to Sesshomaru.

"Hottest hot sauce in the world?" he asked.

"Yep. The tiniest drop with have you crying." She replied evilly. Sesshomaru felt an equally evil smile pierce across his face. She may be evil, she may be disrespectful, but she knew how to serve a nice, cold dish of revenge, or in this case, insanely hot.

"Sounds like a wonderful plan." Sesshomaru said back, walking into the kitchen.

Another hour later, Inutaisho walked into the dinning room just as Kay and Sesshomaru were serving. He sat down with Kimi and sniffed his food.

"This smells wonderful. You two did a great job." He said, picking up a piece of meat with his chopsticks. He went to eat it and stopped.

"Kay, I want you taste this for me." Inutaisho said, holding the meat out. Kay turned around with a smile.

"Ok!" she chirped. She grabbed it with her fingers and plopped it in her mouth, chewing it and swallowing it. He made her stand there for a few minutes, waiting for anything to take place, but Kay just looked around curiously.

"Alright, you may sit down." Inutaisho said as Kay sat beside Sesshomaru, who looked at her suspiciously. They poured half of the sauce into Inutaisho's and the other half into Kimi's, yet Kay acted as if they did nothing. Sesshomaru looked back at his parents while taking a bite of his, waiting for the show. Inutaisho and Kimi dug in, inhaling anything they got their chopsticks on.

"That was wonder…oh…oh wow…my mouth feels…LIKE IT'S ON FIRE! AHHHHHHH! AHHH! I SWALLOWED HOT LAVA! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Inutaisho screamed with horror as Kimi began crying at the pain. The two adult dog demons began chugging water, ordering for buckets instead of cups. They cried as they looked at Sesshomaru and Kay, who were casually eating their meal while enjoying the show.

"Look Sesshomaru, dinner and a show." Kay said haughtily.

"YOU BACKSTABBING FOOLS! AHHH! AHHHHHHH!" Inutaisho yelled as more pain-filled tears ran down his face.

"Hm, such a disgrace I am." Sesshomaru said back sarcastically, pushing his bowl aside as Kay bit into an apple.

"YOU ATE SOME OF HIS! WHY AREN'T YOU IN PAIN? AHHH!" Kimi asked morbidly.

"Hah! I'm a fire bender! I am the hottest of the hottest! I can drink this stuff by the bottle and barely feel a thing!" Kay said proudly as she finished off her apple.

"That's why." Sesshomaru said to himself.

"Sesshomaru's and Kay's Hell Kitchen…haha, welcome!" Kay cheered as she stood up with Sesshomaru. The two chef's headed upstairs to sleep, they had enough fun for the day.


	9. Chapter 9

The Truth Hurts

Kay woke up in a dark place surrounded by gray, gloomy stones. She sat up and looked around, eyes wide open to sense any movement.

"Hello?" she called out, hoping someone would hear her. Kay looked up and saw the night sky; at least, she thought she did. It had countless stars, but also three different moons emitting an eerie red light.

"Where the fuck am I? Jupiter? Last time I checked I was on Earth, God damn it! Jesus Christ! Mary and Joseph!" she yelled heatedly. She saw the place she was in was a maze. She felt her face fill with heat as her anger rose.

"Whatever. I'll just cheat my way out of here." She said cockily as she scaled the wall. When she reached the top an invisible force knocked her back down.

"Holy fuck balls! What kind of maze is this? I miss the ones that they have on the kiddy menus at restaurants. Easy as hell." Kay said, ending her rant with a huff of annoyance. She decided to try the maze out anyway. Kay began walking and came to a fork in the maze. She went left and looked around curiously, hoping maybe someone would pop out to help her, but no one lived on Jupiter, Pluto, where ever the Hell she was.

"Dude, Sesshomaru, if this is another one of your dumbass tricks, then get ready for the hurricane because I am highly pissed right now!" she called out angrily. She sighed heavily and continued on her merry way, if cursing and spitting fire were considered merry.

"Mmmmm, grrrrrrrrr!" came a loud growl from somewhere outside of the maze.

"Mmmmm, grrrrrrr, yourself asshole!" Kay shouted. She came from the States, unnecessary comebacks and comments were second nature to her.

"You talking to me?" the growl came again.

"Yes you numb nuts, who else could I possibly be talking to?" Kay asked with heavy sarcasm. Her reply was another growl of pain and misery. Kay came to a three-way fork and stopped, calculating the best route.

"Take a left." The beast said.

"Where does that lead, more maze?"

"It's the correct way. Pitiful, you don't know the way out of your own mind."

"This is my mind?"

"Yes."

"Wow. It's a good thing I'm not on acid."

"Take another left." The voice said as she reached another fork.

"Is it always a left?"

"Only if you want it to be."

"I want this stupid ass maze gone." Kay mumbled. Instantly, the maze disappeared, revealing a huge, black dog demon with searing red eyes. Kay saw two, jagged, crimson red stripes on its cheeks and white, sharp claws and fangs. She also saw five, long, whip like tails slowly flicking behind it.

"Uh…what are you doing here?" Kay asked, pointing timidly at the huge demon. The dog beast overlapped his paw over the other and laid his head down, still flicking his tails, which created a cool, gentle breeze.

"You know exactly why I am here…Keiko." He said back, idly licking a paw.

"Gramps? What in the hell…oh…the stupid spell thing. I thought it only sealed your powers, not you."

"It did seal my power, but that spell had something added on to it. The gay, swirl part inside of the flame was meant for my powers, the three-pronged flame was meant for me."

"Great, so now I have a tight ass flame with a gay swirl inside of it trapping my grandpa and his powers in me. God loves me a lot." Kay said with such heavy sarcasm a U.S. NAVY battleship sunk hundreds of years from the time she was in.

"God loves you, your parents don't."

"What happened that day?"

"I came to your house while you were asleep. I demanded that your parents give you to me permanently."

"Yeah, asking somebody for their child is a bit of a pissing match."

"Watch your mouth. Anyway, they refused to give you up, which made no sense considering they were too busy congratulating your twin older brother and sister for graduating high school, your younger brother for graduating from elementary, and they have a fifth, count them, fifth child on the way. Tell me, have they ever spoken to you for more than five minutes?"

"Not that my crappy memory can remember. Unless you call getting scolded for an A- talking."

"Precisely. If anything, I was helping them out."

"I guess so. So, what happened after that?"

"Well, your father, surprisingly, was the fastest sperm, out of hundreds of thousands I produced that fateful night with your grandmother, but he never was fast in the head. He was a bit,"

"Retarded?"

"Yes, excellent choice of word. He challenged me to a fight, whoever won got to keep you."

"So now I'm a gambling tool?"

"It was for your own good. He fought me and was losing horribly. I opened so many cans of ass whoop on him he couldn't tell up from down, so, your mother brought you out, along with the strongest fire sage priest in the city. They carved those awful spells on you and knew very well I wouldn't fight while you were around."

"So you got sealed inside of me and that was that?"

"Not really. Your father, the fastest sperm I had that night, I had a lot to drink as well, said that once my powers were tamed inside of you, he would steal them for himself."

"Uh, not good, I presume?"

"Right, not good for two reasons. One, your father will use my powers to do evil, snaky things to the world. Two, stealing me from you once we've combined will result in your death."

"Oh shit, they really do hate me." Ka said with an unchanged attitude. The giant, black dog demon stared down at his granddaughter curiously. He had just told her she was more likely to die soon and yet she didn't shiver.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a fever?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Stop messing around. Why do you not care about dying?"

"It isn't like I'm the most important thing to be spat onto Earth by God, so, if I die, oh well. No one will cry at my funeral so I have no regrets."

"I will cry."

"You can't. You're dead."

"I live in you."

"Oh boy."

"You are so depressing. So, I just thought I would inform you about all of these shitty events."

"Cool."

"Are you ok?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"You should wake up from your meditation, Sesshomaru is about to knock the living daylights out of you."

"Purposefully?"

"Purposeful accident."

"It's a great day to whip somebody's ass!" Kay shouted, waking from her semi-sleeping state. Sure enough, Sesshomaru was quickly guiding across the garden towards her. Kay rolled on her back and flipped the white dog demon over her. Sesshomaru landed on his back with a thud and scowled.

"I told you not to leave my sight." He growled, staring up at the blue sky. Kay exhaled and refused to get up.

"Well, I'm back in it now, so, yeah, get over it."

"Back to your usual, grouchy self I assume?"

"Whatever."

"What's your deal?"

"Nothing is my deal! Never has, never will!"

"Calm down!"

"GET OFF MY CASE!" Kay roared, getting up and running off to find a better hiding spot. Sesshomaru watched her run off with concern.

"I wonder what's eating her?" he said curiously. He stood up and exhaled with annoyance. The past four days had been one giant hide-and-go-seek game with her and it was wearing on the dog prince's nerves. Sesshomaru walked casually down a hallway, following her scent. Oddly enough, it went straight to his father's study room. Sesshomaru opened the door and frowned as he saw a sobbing Kay in his father's arms. Both his mother and father glared at Sesshomaru angrily.

"Don't look at me, I didn't do shit." Sesshomaru spat irritably.

"Did my dick of a son make you cry?" Inutaisho asked Kay, who shook her head "no" while clinging onto his shirt. Inutaisho looked at his son sheepishly.

"I was joking about the dick part." He said falsely.

"Yes, I'm quite sure you were." Sesshomaru snapped back angrily, but calmly.

"Oh Sesshomaru, can't you take anything lightly?" Kimi asked him with a whine. Her only response was a face that plainly said, "Nope." Inutaisho looked down at the crying child and exhaled.

"What has upset you so much, Kay? I thought you didn't know how to cry." He said, earning a jab in the arm from his wife. She glared sternly at him and took Kay from his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Kay. Men are idiots." She said soothingly. Both Inutaisho and Sesshomaru took offense to the comment and glared icily at Kimi, who could only smile and muffle her laughter.

"What's bothering you honey?" Kimi asked.

"My…parents want me…dead! They want to take my grandpa's powers and kill me!" she cried. Inutaisho shot a dirty look at Sesshomaru.

"Again, I have done nothing." Sesshomaru said, knowing part of it was a lie.

"Then how does she know?" Inutaisho growled.

"Do I look like a damn mind reader? Ask her yourself!" Sesshomaru hollered. Barely any sleep and he was savage. Inutaisho turned to Kay, who was facing him while Kimi wiped up her tears with her long, purple sleeve.

"How do you know about your grandfather?" Inutaisho asked softly.

"He told me. I was meditating and made some type of mental contact with him. He told me everything that happened that night when I came here."

"He said your parents wanted you dead?"

"More or less, my dad does. He wants Gramps' power, so he's going to take it from me and I'll die."

"You see? I told you Tommy was a snaky bastard." Kimi hissed.

"How do you know that Toukai isn't lying to her?"

"Grandpa never lies to me. I promise, he's telling the truth." Kay said, breaking up any potential marital fights. Inutaisho frowned and massaged his temples as he tried to think of some explanation, but his idiotic man-mind came to absolutely nothing.

"I don't think this is true, to be honest." Inutaisho said, exhaling.

"Of course you don't. You're friends with a retard, therefore you prove to all scientists that retards are attracted to one another." Kay said angrily, her golden eyes replaced with red. Sesshomaru felt her entire demeanor change.

"I am not retarded."

"You're gay for my dad."

"I am not."

"I'll bet you two had sex…once upon a time." Kay said again, this time, the way she delivered it was unlike her usual way. Sesshomaru frowned. Kay's way involves smirking, yelling, and sarcasm. The way she was doing it now was as if she were telling a story that was true. No smiling, definitely not yelling, and no sarcasm whatsoever.

"I did NOT do it with your father!" Inutaisho denied, face blushing. Kimi's eyes squinted as his reaction.

"Oh…dear gods…you did didn't you?" Kimi asked him angrily.

"No I didn't!" he pleaded.

"Double negative means yes." Kay said with a yawn.

"Shut up! I never had sex with your father!"

"I call BULLSHIT! Your father and I walked in on you two doing it…hard! Don't deny it, there were witnesses!" Kay said back, voice rising. Inutaisho frowned.

'_My father and…oh shit.' _He thought.

"T…Toukai?" Inutaisho stuttered.

"That's right you homosexual dumb fuck! How dare you call me a liar! You're a jackass for thinking that I was all the way sealed inside!" she said back with a demanding force. The whites of her eyes were red while the iris was blue. Demon markings appeared, but she wasn't bloodthirsty like before.

"Toukai, I didn't call you a liar!" Inutaisho yelled back.

"Queer!"

"No!"

"Faggot!"

"No!"

"Rainbow loving, horny excuse of a dog demon!"

"Shut up!"

"Gay wad!"

"I am not!"

"You were taking it up the ass like the little bitch you are. Hahaha, quite funny, but so demeaning at the same time, watching my son do that to you...up the ass…hard…while pulling on your small, tiny, little di…"

"Ok so we did it once!" Inutaisho admitted, angered at the subject.

"Oh no! Oh dear gods, I think I'm going to be sick! How dare you?" Kimi screeched.

"Father, you truly are disgusting. What's next, filthy humans?" Sesshomaru asked, seeing his proud, strong father differently.

"It was before I knew of either of you, so shut it!" Inutaisho yelled.

"But you knew my son very well." Kay/Toukai responded with amused inflections in her voice.

"And you can stop it! What do you want?" Inutaisho asked.

"I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself, queer bait. Protect Keiko from her parents at all costs. They will kill her if given the chance, and Inutaisho, you know this to be very true indeed."

"I know, but,"

"I'm sorry, did you just say, "I like butt sex." I could've sworn you did."

"Fine. What do I get in return?"

"Butt sex."

"No, really, what do I get?"

"You get it…up the ass."

"Stop making gay jokes. What is my prize?"

"Cum."

"You're not funny!"

"You're not listening. I said redeem yourself, not you get a prize for protecting a little girl. Plus, if you touch her, I'll kill you."

"I won't touch her."

"Oh, that's right. You're into men."

"I have a wife and son!"

"And an ex-gay lover on the side. Yummy."

"Fine! Fine! Fine! Fine! Fine!"

"Did you just say your ex-gay lover was fine times five?"

"Damn you to Hell!"

"Beat you to it, I'm already there." Kay replied, passing out in Kimi's arms. Her demon markings disappeared as well. Inutaisho looked at her and then at his son, who was still trying to absorb what just took place.

"Sesshomaru, if you ever use this information on me in a fight, I will kill you." Inutaisho snarled.

"Before or after you rape me?" Sesshomaru replied with a sadistic smile. Kay's favorite question was fun to ask, but it was awful to be asked with it. Inutaisho steamed, but said nothing more as Kimi and his son walked out of the room with Kay.

"Mother, I'll take her." Sesshomaru said, cuddling the girl in his arms. Kimi nodded and sighed.

"I knew your father was an idiot but…DAMN!" she snarled, knocking a vase over. Kay stirred a bit, but didn't wake.

"Sorry. Get her to bed, she's burning up with a fever." Kimi said, walking back to discuss some _things_ with her husband. Sesshomaru walked into his room and placed her on his side of the bed. He then walked to the door leading to his balcony and opened it.

"A storm? But there was not a cloud in the sky earlier." He said, looking outside as a cool breeze crept in. Dark clouds were moving in fast. Sesshomaru turned back to the sleeping Kay and frowned as a feeling a pity engulfed him. He sat on the bed next to her and felt her head. She was burning up. He took off the top part of her kimono, but left the shorter sleeved part on. Next he ordered some maids to bring cold water and a rag. They hurried away and came back a few minutes later.

"Do you want us to tend to the girl, sir?" a maid asked.

"No, I will." He replied, sending them away with confused looks on their faces. He never wanted anything to do with her, but now he does? Sesshomaru sat the bowl of water on the stand next to his bed and lightly damped her forehead with the cool rag. She twitched with the sudden coolness, but did not wake.

"When she sleeps, she sleeps." He said to himself, realizing she never woke up in any kind of racket. Sesshomaru placed the rag on her forehead and stood up, walking to his door. He cracked it open and smirked. Inutaisho was running for his life down the hallway.

"No, no, no! Baby please! I didn't cheat! I didn't! It was before you! Ahhhh!" he yelled as Kimi chased him down with a newly sharpened sword.

"Idiot." Sesshomaru said, closing the door and turning around. Kay was sitting up and looking around with wide eyes.

"Something bothering you?" he asked.

"Yeah…I thought we were in the study. When did we come down here?" she asked.

"A while ago."

"Uh, where was I?"

"Asleep."

"But I was talking."

"Yes, if only you fell asleep every time you opened that repulsive mouth of yours." Sesshomaru said playfully. Kay looked at him and giggled.

"Kiss my ass." She replied.

AN-It got a little serious, sorry. I like a well-plotted story, but there are still plenty of random, funny things to come, I promise.


	10. Chapter 10

Things That Make You Go Bump In The Night

AN- I'm really surprised at all of the new readers I have, thank you everyone. It's really cool to see so many people like my type of writing and story telling. Anyway, sorry it took so long to update, I've been really tired and out of ideas.

Sesshomaru lay awake in bed and this time, ladies and some men, he has his shirt on, so, yeah, sorry. He was awake for two reasons. One, Kay made "Happy Tea" and Sesshomaru was so hyped up, he couldn't close his eyes. Kay, on the other hand, drank a lot of "Happy Tea" and she was out cold, under the covers to block out any light. Reason two for the restless demon dog prince; he could hear his parents doing the exact same thing they did to make him exist.

"I could just kill them right now. What happened to my mother being angry at him?" he asked, frowning at every bump and groan.

"Maybe fucking your mom is your dad's way of saying he's sorry for fucking my dad." Kay mumbled from under the covers.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was…until I heard things."

"Ugh, this is embarrassing."

"Dude, I know."

"How is this embarrassing to you? They are _my_ parents, not yours."

"The only thing more embarrassing than hearing your own parents doing the nasty, is hearing somebody else's parents doing the nasty."

"Fine, you win on embarrassment, but still, why now?"

"I don't know but…oh! I have an idea!"

"What?"

"We could cock block your dad!"

"We could do what to my father?"

"Oh my God! Did you just ask me what a cock block was?"

"Yes."

"You're a disgrace to men everywhere. Anyway, a cock block is when you do things outside the bedroom of action to get the horny people out of the mood, resulting in us being able to sleep tonight."

"You have my attention, but how are we to do anything that massive of a distraction? My father humps anything that moves when he's in the mood."

"We can get all the maids, guards, servants, who ever else who is here in the palace to do something for us."

"You now have my _full_ attention." Sesshomaru said, laying on his side and staring Kay in the eyes, which was all that was showing of her. Every other part of her was under the covers.

"Good. Now you round up the people, I will try to think of something to do, ok?"

"Fine. Also, why are you all covered up like that? It's hot in here." Sesshomaru asked.

"I'm uh…really cold. I'll meet you down there in a minute." Kay replied sheepishly.

"Right." Sesshomaru said, getting up and beginning his collection of guards. Kay made sure he was completely gone before kicking the covers off her. She had no shirt on, but she had her bra on.

"Damn, it's hotter than Hell up in here! It's like…Satan's asshole or something!" Kay hissed, pulling her white under shirt on and leaving the top red part off. She ran down the hallway, giggling at awkward noises. She arrived in the meeting room where hundreds of demon men and women alike waited, eager to end the awful, noisy mating ritual of their lord and lady.

"I know you, as well as me and Sesshomaru, really want to have a good night's sleep tonight, but because of…how should I put it? Because of certain events in a certain room with certain people, we cannot accomplish our good night's sleep. So I have a proposition for you, would you like to here it?" Kay said. They all nodded while looking at each other and back at Kay. Sesshomaru decided to stand back and let her work. Less energy he had to use.

"Here's what we are going to do. I need you all to separate into teams, but I need one big team of women alone, ok?" Kay asked. All of the women stepped off to the side as the men continued giving each other doubtful looks.

"Ok, I need a team of big, strong men to go first. Who's my first team?" Kay asked. A few men stepped up and she frowned.

"You guys are pussies! Come on! I need more!" Kay hissed impatiently, eager to get this done with. A larger group came out and smiled, knowing that if they were going to die, they might as well have fun doing it.

**Inutaisho and Kimi's POV of what's happening. **

Inutaisho and Kimi are deeply kissing, resting for energy for round 15 million...they lost count. Kimi giggled as her husband caressed her body with his hands. Her smile disappeared when she heard something, loud, monotonous and just plain scary coming closer. It was faint, but it was coming for sure.

"Mmm, Inu, stop. Do you hear that?" she asked the dazed Inutaisho. He blinked a few times before sitting up. He did hear it and it was abnormal, but he wanted more of his wife and he would dismiss any interruptions that came his way.

"Sounds like chanting. Maybe the guards got bored. Come on, I'm ready." Inutaisho urged with a grin. Kimi nodded and allowed Inutaisho to mount her once more. They started round 15 million, yeah whatever, not knowing what was about to happen.

"Inu, it's getting louder!" Kimi whined, wincing as his claws dug into her.

"They won't do anything! They're bored!" Inutaisho reassured her. He kissed her on the neck lightly.

"Alright, but if they do, you're dead."

"They wouldn't dare do anything."

"Why did you stop?"

"Sorry."

"OOGA CHAGA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAGA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAGA!" the guards chanted.

" I CAN'T STOP THIS FEELING!" the women sang.

" OOGA CHAGA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAGA!" the guards chanted loudly as they marched by the door, slamming their spears on the floor to add to the noise.

"What the _fuck_ is that?" Inutaisho yelled angrily, letting go of his wife.

"OOGA CHAGA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAGA!"

"What in the fuck is that?" Inutaisho roared once more, sitting up.

"Honey, you said not to worry about it, keep going." Kimi said soothingly.

"I can't hump to that!" he quickly yelled back. Kimi got out of bed, pulled her robe on and opened the door. The guards and maids had already booked it out of there when they heard her get up. She closed the door and dropped her robe.

"I don't know what that was all about, but they're gone now. Let's keep going." Kimi said, petting Inutaisho's hair seductively. He looked to the door and sighed before flipping her over him.

"Did it work?" Sesshomaru asked Kay quietly. She held up a finger and frowned when the thumping and moaning continued, faster than before.

"God damn it to Hell, no. Send in team two." She whispered to him.

"Surely you don't think you can get them out of the mood?" Sesshomaru asked with a small whine, knowing his parents both too well.

"Don't call me Shirley, send in the next team, I know what I'm doing. I'm a pro at this." Kay said back. Sesshomaru sighed before rubbing his face. He turned around the corner and motioned for the next group to come do their thing. They tiptoed in and got into their positions.

"Remember, be very enthusiastic about it!" Kay hissed at them. They nodded with big smiles and turned around. This was the most excitement they get here and it was fun to interrupt people doing it.

"Are you sure this will work?" Sesshomaru asked, feeling dirty about this plan.

"If this doesn't work, you can shave me, wax me and use me as a surfboard." Kay said back, feeling victory coming on.

Kimi opened her mouth, feeling the need to shout his name.

"Oh, Inu, do it again!" she said, out of breath.

"OH INU, DO IT AGAIN!" the guards shouted. Inutaisho stopped his performance and looked at the door savagely. Kimi placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"If you interrupt us one more time, it will be your lives that are to be interrupted! Do I make myself clear?" she shouted angrily. The guards looked at Kay who urged them to answer.

"Yes, my lady!" they all said, stamping their feet to make it sound like they were getting their asses out of there. They faded their steps away and awaited the next embarrassing and pathetic moan to be repeated.

A few minutes later, it was Inutaisho who was to break the silence.

"Dear Gods! Where did you…learn to do that?" he said, trying to catch his breath.

"Hahaha! I learned it from our little visit to China, my dear." Kimi replied sweetly. The guards smiled, as did Kay and Sesshomaru.

"DEAR GODS! WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT? HAHAHA! I LEARNED IT FROM OUR LITTLE VISIT TO CHINA, MY DEAR!" the men repeated perfectly and loudly. Inutaisho's eyes flickered red.

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!" he shouted heatedly.

"Run! Run! Separate! Don't get caught! Don't say anything!" Kay hissed to all of them as Sesshomaru pulled her away, down to his room. He closed his door and jumped onto the bed with Kay.

"Slow your breathing, close your eyes and calm down! We have to pretend we're asleep or we're dead!" Sesshomaru ordered, inhaling deeply while flinging his shirt across the room. Kay pulled the covers to her neck and turned away from the door, slowing her breathing.

"Kimi, I don't get it. Why would the guards do this?" Inutaisho asked, walking down the hallway to find any of them. Their scents were scattered throughout the palace, so it was hard to pinpoint exactly who was there.

"I think a certain someone planned this." Kimi said.

"Who? Kay? The guards wouldn't listen to her even if their lives depended on it." Inutaisho said with a frown.

"But they listen to Sesshomaru. He has them quivering if he even glares at them."

"Why would Sesshomaru do this?"

"They've been teaming up lately, I think it was both of them."

"Why would Sesshomaru work with Kay? They hate each other."

"They did it the other night when they contaminated our food. Sesshomaru told me that both he _and_ Kay killed Li-Fen and her men. It's basic nature for the children to gang up on the parents."

"We aren't Kay's parents, though."

"We're more parent-like to her than her own parents, so she sees us as parental figures, therefore she and Sesshomaru were bound to find one thing in common,"

"Which is?"

"They hate their parents. Whether it is personally, or just because we have rule over them, they both hate being parented by anyone. I think Kay and Sesshomaru put this together."

"Let's go find out." Inutaisho said, walking down to Sesshomaru's room. He opened the door quietly and there they lay, sleeping like the angels, cough, devils, cough, they are. Inutaisho didn't buy it though. He slipped in, as did Kimi, standing at the end of the bed with their arms crossed.

"Hey, kids, wake up!" Inutaisho said loudly. He saw Sesshomaru's brow furrow as his eyes slowly opened. He heard Kay moan and whine at the disturbance.

'_Maybe it really wasn't them.' _Both Inutaisho and Kimi thought. Sesshomaru and Kay's faces met, then looked at the parental figures' faces, then back at each other.

"Why so serious?" Kay said, rubbing her face.

"Why are you in here?" Sesshomaru asked his parents.

"You mean you didn't hear?" Kimi asked suspiciously.

"Hear what? I was asleep." Sesshomaru said back. Kimi glared at him.

"A very deep, unbothered sleep." He added. Inutaisho glared at Kay.

"Put a smile on, and then we'll talk." She said to him. He smiled falsely, showing his fangs.

"Is dat betta?" he asked without moving his mouth.

"No, that's just straight up fucking creepy, stop it." She said seriously, face showing some fear.

"Sesshomaru, Kay, we know you heard us." Kimi said. She saw both faces twitch with disturbance.

"Why did you do that?" Inutaisho asked.

"Do what?" they both asked.

"Make all of the guards and maids disturb us."

"Uh…they did? Well, I'm not proud of them, but apparently…they did a wonderful job. Kudos." Kay said with a smirk. She knew that both Inutaisho and Kimi knew it was she, but for respect, Kay decided to keep Sesshomaru out of it.

"It was you!" Inutaisho growled.

"Of course it was. Do you think Sesshomaru had the balls and brains to conjure this monstrosity up? Haha, no, I did it." Kay said. Sesshomaru eyed her quickly.

"She's out of it. It was I. The guards will do my bidding, they never listen to her." he said. Inutaisho looked at Kimi.

"I think it was both of you." She said.

"Hah, well, you would be wrong. I did it. I kind of said I would give the guards hazard pay with pure gold if they did it. A simple, but effective bribe." Kay stated. Sesshomaru stood up out of bed.

"I don't know why, but she's trying to take the blame, it was all me. Punish me and let's all go to sleep." He said. Kay jumped out of bed.

"He's retarded! It was all my idea and work!" Kay shouted.

"Why are you defending me?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I'm not! I don't want you taking credit for my awesome, kick ass plan!" Kay yelled. Both dog demon parental figures were baffled by the young kids' actions. They hated each other, yet they refuse to let the other fall, or both get punished.

"Look, look, look! Stop arguing! We will let you off the hook this time, but if this happens again, you both are goners, regardless of who was responsible." Inutaisho snarled, too tired to settle a confusing case. He and Kimi headed to their room and went to sleep.

"Why were you taking the blame?" Sesshomaru asked Kay. She looked at him and shrugged.

"I've been awful to you. It was the least I could do to apologize. Plus, we didn't get in trouble so…we're cool." She said, lying back down.

"Thank you and I forgive you." Sesshomaru said, opening his balcony door to get a breeze. He lie on the bed too and soon fell asleep.

AN- What do you think? Am I great, or am I great? Hahaha, I have too much fun.


	11. Chapter 11

That's What She Said

"Kay, did you know that your father never could beat me in battle?" Inutaisho asked the girl, who was playing her guitar.

"No, but he could beat you off in bed." She replied monotonously, tuning a string and sighing. Inutaisho's face felt like it dropped to the floor.

"Can we let that die?"

"I guess."

"Anyway, he has challenged me many times and never has beaten me…except in bed! Damn it, Kay!" Inutaisho hollered, seeing Kay's face twist with mischief. She snorted, but continued playing her instrument.

"He snuck up on me one time and,"

"Did you jump?"

"A little, but,"

"Yeah a little…at first."

"Alright, seriously, stop making gay jokes."

"My badness."

"So, he snuck up on me, and I just turned around and punched the living daylights out of him."

"Oh, you are bad ass." Kay replied dryly. She was more interested in practicing her guitar playing skills than listening to an old guy talk about the good old days back in Vietnam or where ever he and her father decided to do it.

"Oh, then there was this other time when he threw a boulder at me!"

"Don't sound so excited."

"Silence. He threw it at me and it broke into pieces before it hit me! Hahahaha!"

"Ha ha ha."

"Then, he tried to kick me in the nuts,"

"I thought he loved your nuts."

"Damn it, what did I say about making gay jokes?"

"Stop."

"Correct. He tried to kick me in my nuts, but I kicked him there first."

"Oh, you are sooooo strong. Me so horny." Kay replied emotionlessly.

"Am I bothering you?" Inutaisho asked, realizing his glory days weren't interesting her at all.

"Quite frankly, yes you are." She said back, strumming a song quietly. Inutaisho exhaled depressingly while looking up at the sky. Yes, they were outside and Sesshomaru was late for his training, which made Inutaisho angry and concerned. Sesshomaru was never late to training.

"Here we are, dear old friend, you and I drunk again. The laughs have been had, tears have been shed, maybe the whisky's gone to my head. If I were gay I would give you my heart, and if I were gay you'd be my work of art, and if I were gay, we would swim in romance, but I'm not gay, so get your hands out of my pants." Kay sang enthusiastically and loudly so Inutaisho could hear her.

"Kay, stop with the gay jokes!" he snapped as Sesshomaru walked out into the sun.

"Damn Son, where have you been?" Inutaisho asked, already in a bad mood. Sesshomaru sighed as he strapped on his armor.

"Nowhere." He replied simply.

"If I could be a superhero, I would be Awesomeman! I travel around the world fighting crime, according to my awesome plan!" Kay sang as she strummed a nice song. Sesshomaru eyed her with a confused look upon his face, but then turned to his father, knowing Inutaisho wouldn't go easy on him after everything that has happened lately.

"Here I come!" Inutaisho yelled, jumping at his son, who simply stepped to the side and let Inutaisho hit the ground. He pushed himself up and heard Kay's persistent giggling.

"Hahaha! That was magical!" Kay said, wiping tears of joy from her face.

"You shut up!" he yelled at her.

"Don't make me get my dad!" she teased. Inutaisho growled at her and felt someone grab his arm. Sesshomaru pulled him up and flung him into a tree upside down. Inutaisho rolled to his feet and held his head.

"That was dirty Sesshomaru! You know very well I wasn't paying attention!" he barked.

"Maybe you should stop worrying about a little girl, who has already made up her mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who is still mowing it over." Sesshomaru said, simply staring at his father. Inutaisho glared as the death threat circled around in his head.

"You see me mowin' my front lawn, I know they're all thinking I'm so white and nerdy! Think I'm just too white and nerdy!" Kay sang without her guitar this time. Sesshomaru shook his head, but kept his attention on his father.

"Fine!" Inutaisho spat, quickly jumping at his son, who once again, stepped out of the way, and added a kick this time. Inutaisho yelped as he hit the ground once more.

Training was difficult…for Inutaisho this day. He continuously blamed it on Kay's songs and comments, but anyone watching knew he was to blame on getting his ass whipped by his son. Kay and Sesshomaru walked into what we Americans would call the living/lounge room. Whatever. Sesshomaru collapsed into a pile of pillows, taking his armor off and pushing it away. Kay began exhaled and a painting caught on fire. She began playing an upbeat song.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUGGGGAHHHHHHHH!" Kay sung in her retard voice. Sesshomaru didn't bother to open his eyes.

"What was that song called?" he asked.

"It's called, Hurry Quick The Living Room's On Fire." She replied as Sesshomaru saw the burning painting. Kay waved the fire out and giggled at the once portrait of Inutaisho.

"He's going to be pissed when he sees that." Sesshomaru said with a frown. Kay looked at the painting and back at Sesshomaru.

"It looks like…a piece of shit. I think I did us all a great favor." Kay retorted, sitting down. She set her guitar next to her and exhaled. She then felt a presence behind her and turned, only to see Inutaisho picking up her guitar, motioning that he was going to break it.

"Dude, that's my Heroin Diaries acoustic guitar signed by Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue! Don't you dare break it!" Kay shouted, talking like a professional.

"That was a painting of me when I was announced as the new Lord of the West!" he shouted back, pointing at the burnt painting.

"My badness! I told you I can't control what is flammable and what isn't!" she roared, lunging for her prized guitar. He lifted it higher and she went onto the floor, but not without a fight. Kay flipped herself back onto her feet and glared angrily at Inutaisho.

"I think I get the right to break this." He said with a sneer.

"If you break that guitar I will kick your ass so hard you're going to have to clear your throat before you fart!" she hollered. Inutaisho plucked a string with his claw, breaking the string. Instantly, Kay's eyes went red and her demon markings appeared. She gave him a low, beast-like growl.

"Inutaisho, you faggot!" she yelled.

"Uh oh!" Inutaisho screamed as Kay tackled him to the floor, punching him relentlessly. Sesshomaru merely yawned as his father called for help. He stood up and pulled the transformed girl and guitar away from his father. Sesshomaru left the room with the struggling girl who was Hell bent on beating his father to death. He made sure not to do anything more to the guitar as he carried it gingerly. Kimi rounded the corner and saw Sesshomaru carrying the animal-like Kay trying to rip Sesshomaru's arm off with her claws and fangs. He had blood dripping down his sleeve and onto the floor as her talons and fangs dug deeper into his skin.

"What's going on?" Kimi asked her son.

"Let go of me, you fucking pajama wearing fruitcake!" Kay snarled as she bit back into his skin harder. Sesshomaru held up the guitar in his other hand and acted as if a small child were NOT gnawing on his left arm.

"Father broke her guitar string, she got mad, and now we are here." He said emotionlessly. Kimi's face went red with anger.

"Damn him! He is so dumb!" she shouted, going off to find him.

"Does that mean you are going to have sex again tonight?" Sesshomaru asked her as he walked away.

"Shut up!" she replied. Sesshomaru took the guitar to his room and placed it on his bed. He then dragged Kay with him to the infirmary. He sat Kay on the table and ordered a few nurses to hold her down as her movements became more like an animal's. The nurses held her arms and legs down and marveled at her strength. Kay swung her head side to side, trying to get a hold of someone's hands, but she soon resorted to what she does best: snarling, roaring, and repulsive cussing.

"Grrrrrrrrr! You cunts! Get your hands off of me!" Kay yelled angrily, getting a leg free and kicking a nurse in the chin. She fell to the floor unconscious. Sesshomaru saw that Kay's hair was almost spiked. It wasn't straight down like usual, it was sticking out. Her eyes remained red and the blue iris had not yet shown. Her two, jagged crimson red stripes tore across her cheeks, leading to a mouth full of sharp fangs. Her claws were digging into the nurses' arms as they held her down harder. Two crimson stripes were on her hands too.

"Kay, calm down." Sesshomaru ordered.

"Suck my dick!" she spat angrily.

"You don't have one."

"It's still bigger than yours!" she yelled back. Sesshomaru felt his patience leave his body and fly out the window on a magic carpet. He walked over to Kay and slammed her head back down on the table.

"Hahahaha! My turn!" she said, blowing flames out of her mouth. Sesshomaru stepped back to avoid getting burned; as for the nurses, well, they aren't too lucky. Kay spontaneously combusted one nurse, while grabbing the other by her shirt with two fingers and hurling her through the wall. Kay jumped off the table and went for Sesshomaru, since he was the only living creature around. She swiped him across the chest with her claws and tried to get his face, but Sesshomaru loved his face more than anything. He grabbed her wrist and flung her out the door and into a statue of his grandfather. It came melting down when Kay turned up the heat to cushion her fall.

"Kay, I said calm down!" Sesshomaru yelled. She merely grinned at him before tackling him to the floor, pummeling him with relentless punches. Two guards saw the scene and pulled Kay off of Sesshomaru. She effortlessly threw them down the hallway and went to kick Sesshomaru, but he was on his feet and pissed. Sesshomaru's eyes were also a searing red, but before he could attack, Kimi jumped out of nowhere and threw a necklace at Kay, who turned to her wide-eyed.

"Jesus?" Kay asked as the cross necklace hit her in the head, purifying the demonic power that had leaked out. Kay fell to her knees and picked up the necklace, glaring at it.

"You ruin everything." She mumbled to it.

"Put that necklace on, young lady and don't walk around without it!" Kimi scolded, holding her injured hand. Sesshomaru noticed her injuries were in the shape of the cross necklace. Kay reluctantly put it on and her own demonic powers dissipated. Her golden eyes now amber, no fangs, no claws, no pointed ears, nothing. She still had her fire bending, but that was it for the tyrannical rule of the half-demon.

"Sesshomaru, your father and I have to leave again. The southern lord is in need of our assistance. She shouldn't be too much of a problem now." Kimi said while catching her breath. Sesshomaru nodded and looked over at Kay who was staring at her hands disgustedly.

"Fucking human blood." She mumbled angrily.

"If not for your human blood, you would not be able to fire bend." Sesshomaru reminded her.

"Doesn't mean I'm any less hated." She said back. She was right, Sesshomaru despised humans, and now he had to watch one. Kay turned around and walked down the stairs, mind set on the courtyard to practice her fire bending. Sesshomaru sat in the shade next to the small pond, in case Kay decided to light him on fire for revenge. Kay inhaled through her nose and shot a flame out. It was noticeably small compare to all of the others she executed.

"Oh my God, that was piss poor!" she whined, firing another six into the sky. They barely packed any heat compared to the ones Sesshomaru was used to seeing. He looked down at his injured arm and sighed. Deep cuts and bite marks were already beginning to heal, but they still stung.

"Come on! This is worse than usual!" she said, eyes filling up with tears. Kay thrust her palm out. A small spark and some smoke.

"What the Hell?" she asked, wondering where her firepower went.

"Life's a bitch." Inutaisho said as he walked by.

"Yeah, and _then_ it had puppies." Kay said, glaring at him. Her eyes flashed red, but the necklace instantly burned her.

"Motheeeeeerrrrrrrr! Fuck!" she growled, rolling on the ground in pain. Kimi grabbed Inutaisho's arm and pulled him away to prevent any more conflicts. Sesshomaru exhaled slowly and closed his eyes, soon falling asleep. Kay looked over at him and frowned.

"I wonder why my fire bending isn't working." She said, rubbing her back from the pain that was shooting up it. She widened her eyes and realized a major chakra pool was struck when she was flung against the statue. If her energy storage were struck, her fire bending would be malfunctioning for a while.

"Hm, nothing like a nap to fix this problem." She said, sitting next to Sesshomaru, grabbing the end of his fluff and falling asleep with it.

About an hour later, Sesshomaru sniffed the air while keeping his eyes closed. He sniffed again and frowned, opening his eyes and gasping. Kay was nuzzled right next to him. _Touching him. _

'_Grrrrr, disgusting human.' _He growled silently. Sesshomaru almost considered pulling his fluff out from underneath her, but he stopped and stared at her. Her face was relaxed, as was her breathing. It almost looked like she really was God-sent and not evil. Sesshomaru sniffed and frowned as a familiar scent made its entrance. A bolt of lightning struck the ground and there, sitting on a three-eyed bull, was an old man whose expression looked like he saw some really fat, naked ladies.

"Master Inutaisho! Master Inutaisho! I'm here, with your new sword!" he yelled loudly.

"Silence, you old fool!" Sesshomaru hissed, noticing Kay stirred from her sleep.

"Hm? Oh, Master Sesshomaru, I thought you would marry someone more around your age and species. Well, good luck with making a son. Now, where is your father?" Totosai asked, seeing Sesshomaru's angered expression.

"What? I only asked…ow!" Totosai cried as Sesshomaru struck him hard on the head with a fist.

"That little girl is _not_ my wife, we _aren't_ going to have kids, and my father _isn't _here!" Sesshomaru hollered.

"Dude, Sesshomaru, shut the fuck up!" Kay snapped, sitting up and glaring.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you filthy human!" Sesshomaru snapped back. Kay growled and ripped her cross necklace off, hurling it over the palace as far as she possibly could. Her body pulsated as her demonic powers returned to her.

"I will piss on your soul, you pathetic mutt!" she growled, cracking her knuckles and baring her fangs.

"Now you're worse than a filthy human. You're a disgusting half-breed." He said back. Kay did not hesitate as she shot a huge, enraged flame at Sesshomaru. He jumped in the air and smirked at her, almost ready to laugh.

"By the power of God, I'm going to give you three seconds…EXACTLY THREE FUCKING SECONDS, TO WIPE THAT STUPID LOOKING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, OR I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL FUCK YOU!" Kay exploded, causing flames to surround her and any nearby torches to explode as well. Sesshomaru heard a few guards in the distance screaming as they tried to put the flames from their uniforms out. He stared at Kay, who was breathing heavily, trying to keep herself from spontaneously combusting.

"You will obey me, or this defiant breath will be your last!" Sesshomaru growled, trying to grab control.

"I'll be thinking about that when I'm pissing on your grave!" Kay retorted, flames in her hands turning into a bluish color. Totosai exhaled and hit both dog demon and half dog demon on their heads with the sheathed sword really hard.

"Ahhh!" Sesshomaru yelped.

"God damn!" Kay shouted. They rubbed their heads and glared heatedly at Totosai.

"Grrrrrrr! Totosai! Explain why you hit _me_ with a sword!" Sesshomaru demanded.

"Hm? I hit you with a sword? When?" he asked, scratching his head. Kay giggled.

"I want to be senile and stupid like that when I'm old! Hahaha!" she laughed. Sesshomaru stared at her worriedly before turning back to Totosai.

"You two don't seem to be getting along. Perhaps I can stay here and teach you about respect." Totosai said, scratching his head.

"Teach me respect? Hah, you old fool, you need to learn respect." Sesshomaru growled, cracking his knuckles.

"When did I say I would teach you respect?" Totosai asked, scratching his head again.

"Oh my God! Just now, you stupid twat!" Kay yelled.

"I did?" he asked.

"Sesshomaru, let's fuck him up. Fer serious, I'm pissed." Kay said.

"I agree wholeheartedly, Kay. Let's teach him some respect." Sesshomaru agreed. Him and Kay stared evilly at Totosai while cracking their knuckles. Totosai gulped and prepared for the beat down of a lifetime.


	12. Chapter 12

Warped For Life

AN- Well, people, it's about time for this story to hit its climax. I'm putting this story into motion so I can finish it up. Not that I don't like Kay, she's my home skillet yo, but I hate stories that drag on forever with no end in sight. (Cough, Inuyasha manga, cough, Naruto, cough.)

Three days. Exactly three days and nights. For exactly three days and nights, Sesshomaru and Kay refused to sleep; paranoid one would kill the other. So, they would lay awake in bed, plotting to kill the other, once they fell asleep, if they ever fell asleep. They would stare at the ceiling in a trance, once in a while looking over at each other to see if they were sleeping, if not, go back to staring mindlessly at the ceiling. Both Sesshomaru and Kay were skilled at going without sleep. Sesshomaru was described as a machine, not needing anything to keep him going. Kay, a pre-teen, loves to rock n roll all night and party everyday. Almost a stalemate when you think about it.

Morning four, the two get out of bed and walk down to the dinning room, Inutaisho and Kimi are back from their little trip to the dirty southside, yo. They see Kay and Sesshomaru's darkly ringed eyes and frowned. Totosai exhaled with annoyance.

"These two whippersnappers have been going at it for almost four days! They haven't spoken to each other, but they want the other dead, no doubt about it." The old demon said, eating a whole chicken in one bite.

"Sesshomaru, Kay needs to be alive." Inutaisho said to his son.

"She will be, until I hand her over to her parents myself." His son said coldly.

"Well, tell the chefs to melt the butter and bring out the bibs, because I'm serving Sesshomaru on a silver platter to my grandpa." Kay said to Inutaisho, who exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose. He closed his eyes and said nothing for a moment, almost fearful at the bitter silence between them.

"I am really getting tired of your PMS Friendship Circle. One day you hate each other, the next day you're talking, then the next day you're yelling, then the day after that you're working together, then after that day you want to kill each other, then it starts all over again." Inutaisho said, peeling his armor off. Totosai handed him his new sword and sat down as well. Kimi sighed and declared she was too tired for this and went away. Inutaisho looked at the younger demons and held his hand out.

"Sit." He ordered quietly. They turned away from each other only for Inutaisho to interrupt.

"Next to each other." He added. They both inhaled, looked up at the ceiling as if praying for strength.

_'Don't hit her. Don't hurt her. Don't kill her.' _Sesshomaru chanted in his head.

_'Dear God, please help me NOT whip this bitch's ass, please.' _Kay prayed as she sat down next to her cold rival.

"Sesshomaru, tell me your side. Kay, I want no interruptions." Inutaisho said, motioning to his son to begin.

"I want her dead." Sesshomaru said plainly. He didn't blink or move and neither did Kay.

"Uhhhhh, alright. Kay, your turn."

"I want him to die miserably, alone, painfully and slowly, then he can burn in Hell." Kay said bitterly, also not inferring any regret. Inutaisho looked at Totosai.

"Totosai,"

"Yes, my lord?"

"How did this all happen?"

"Well, it's both of their faults. Neither of them can restrain their mouths. They were talking, one thing led to another, and here we are." The old demon said, hiding behind Inutaisho to escape the icy death glares from the two young demons.

"I want you two to look at one another." Inutaisho ordered.

"I'm afraid that my eyes will melt out of their sockets." Kay said soullessly.

"I can't seem to find her, she's too short." Sesshomaru said impassively.

"Now!" Inutaisho snapped, but the young children/teens held their ground. They stared back, inferring that no sleep impairs judgment. The demon lord let out a growl of annoyance, causing some watching servants to scram out of the room.

"Apparently you two think I'm joking." He said, eyes flashing red.

"Allegedly." Kay said.

"Perhaps." Sesshomaru added. Inutaisho smiled and gave them an evil filled chuckle.

"Well, if you won't learn to forgive one another, I will teach you…the hard way. Both of you are to scrub this palace clean with only rags. Every inch is to be spotless. Also, you both must stay by each other's side. No more than three feet are you to be apart. Until you learn to like, I will force you to like. Get to it." He demanded. Again, neither person responded to him.

_'Damn, I can't hit Kay or Toukai will kill me, along with her parents. Sesshomaru is way too damn fast, I won't catch him.' _Inutaisho thought, trying to come up with a solution. An idea came to mind and he smiled.

"Fine. Kimi, you take Kay, I will get Sesshomaru." Inutaisho said as his wife walked in. She picked up Kay, who put up no resistance as Inutaisho grabbed his son's arms; he also didn't try to escape. The four of them trotted down to the cold, hard, dark dungeons. Kay and Sesshomaru were pushed inside of a prison cell that was built to hold strong demons, such as Sesshomaru, or Kay when she taps into her grandfather's powers.

"Play nice." Kimi said sweetly.

"Bite me." Kay snapped back.

"Spare me." Sesshomaru growled.

The two sat in silence, waiting for the other to fall asleep. Kay felt her head involuntarily nod, letting her know she was on the edge of just passing out. Sesshomaru felt no effects, he was just grouchy, but once Kay fell asleep, he would kill her, and have nothing more to worry about. They both moved their legs and brushed up against each other.

"Watch it." Sesshomaru warned.

"Suck it." Kay said back, crossing her legs. Sesshomaru pulled one leg in and let the other stretch out, his right arm crossed over in his lap and the left dangled at his side. Kay felt her head droop harder, pulling a muscle in her neck. She rubbed her neck, trying to stay awake at all costs.

Kay finally submitted to fatigue. She closed her eyes and made the biggest, and last mistake of her life. She instantly fell asleep and fell over. Sesshomaru heard her fall over and smiled as he saw her go limp.

"Now or never." He said, turning her over onto her back. A green light surrounded his hand as his acidic poison dripped from his claws. A few drops landed on her face, burning the skin off, but she did not stir at all.

"It's been fun, but I refuse to lose to a child, especially a filthy half-breed such as you." He said cracking his knuckles. Just as he was about to melt her away, he heard the dungeon doors open. He heard two men talking frantically.

"You said she was down here!" a familiar voice hissed.

"She is, but someone is with her." another man said. Sesshomaru looked through the door bars and saw Tommy, Kay's father, holding a guard hostage.

"Who is with her?" he asked.

"Master Sesshomaru."

"Haha, that chick? Come on, where are they?" Tommy said, walking down each door and peering in. Sesshomaru bent down and tried to quietly wake Kay.

"Wake up! Come on!" Sesshomaru whispered. Kay's eyes widened as she saw Sesshomaru. She pushed him off and stood up.

"Come out, come out." Tommy said playfully. Kay's ears perked.

_'Oh no…she wouldn't.' _Sesshomaru thought.

"Daddy! Help me!" she screamed, still thinking Sesshomaru wanted to kill her. Hell, if she was going to die inevitably, she wanted to die from someone she respected. The prison door opened and Kay ran to her father, hugging his waist.

"Awww, it's ok, I'm here." Tommy said soothingly while patting her head. Sesshomaru walked out and glared at him.

"So are you going to kill her?" Sesshomaru asked him. Tommy looked at him confusingly.

"Why would I kill my daughter?" he asked, glaring now.

"Power."

"Good answer." Tommy replied, fangs bearing. Kay stepped away, holding his sword to her neck.

"Keiko, honey, what are you doing?" her father asked.

"If I die, you can't have his power." She said back.

"Don't do this to me, it's hurting my feelings." He replied.

"Good." She replied. Tommy took a step forward and she lightly cut her neck.

"Don't think I won't. I'm in major depression and fatigue, I'll do anything." Kay warned, looking at Sesshomaru. He stared back and frowned.

_'Should I save her?' _he asked himself, wondering where his parents were.

"Keiko, drop the sword." Tommy said. She dropped it and replaced cold metal with a flame.

"I'm not joking." Kay said, smiling.

"Either you come with me, and die peacefully, or you go with him and die horribly, which is it?" Tommy asked, his voice cold. Kay looked at her father and at Sesshomaru who stepped up.

"I won't kill you." Sesshomaru said calmly. Kay's eyes darkened on him.

"You promise?" she asked. Sesshomaru nodded and held his hand out while knocking Tommy out cold with the other. She ran to Sesshomaru and hugged his waist. He tensed up, but he messed her hair up playfully and picked her up.

"Let's go…oh…wait…what should we do with him?" Sesshomaru asked her.

"Strip him and burn his clothes." She said with a smile.

Kay ran past her mother battling Kimi and held her father's clothes up.

"Keiko, come to Mommy!" her mother pleaded.

"What do I look like, fucking five years old?" Kay asked angrily.

"Don't use that language with me, young lady!" her mother yelled, causing torches to explode.

"Fuck you, bitch! I use whatever language I want, you stupid whore!" Kay shouted, burning her father's clothes.

"Get over here!" her mom shouted.

"Gladly, retarded fat bitch!" Kay hollered, knocking her mom out cold. She ripped her clothes off and burned them as well. Kimi looked at her confusingly.

"Why did you do that?" she asked. Kay shrugged.

"I don't. Just an urge I guess." She replied. Sesshomaru walked up to Kay and messed her hair up again.

"It already looks like shit! What more do you want?" she asked him.

"I successfully chained your father in prison." He announced.

"Before or after you raped him?"

"Silence yourself."

"Sesshomaru, you need to take Kay and get her out of here!" Inutaisho ordered, the smell of fresh blood on him.

"Why?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Because, the entire army is on its merry little way! They have friends in dark places!"

"Where shall I take her?"

"Anywhere but here…except China…they won't like you after you killed the princess."

"I did them a favor."

"Whatever, just take her and go now!"

"Yes. Come on, Kay." Sesshomaru said.

"Oooh! Monkey attack!" Kay shouted, jumping on his back and holding on for the ride. Sesshomaru booked it out of there, trying to think of a great hiding place.

AN- Ok, I want a vote. If you think that there should be a sequel to the wonderous adventures of the smart ass we all know as Kay, tell me so. (Don't worry, I'm not finished with this story yet, I'm just doing future preference.) If I get five or more people saying yes, then I will, but if I don't get at least five, then no sequel. Tell me what you think. Peace out, rock on.


	13. Chapter 13

Why Can't We Be Friends?

AN- I seem to have scared a few of my readers into thinking that I plan on making this story end serious, and make the sequel serious. Well, I'm not. For this story to have a plot and for it to actually go somewhere, I needed a few chapters to kind of make it go forward a bit. Now that it has, I will continue to be hilarious.

As for the sequel, which is not a promise yet, I have only four out of my needed five "Yes, I want a sequel," requests, thanks for the encouragement as well. The sequel, which I am planning out right now, will not, I repeat, will NOT be serious. It will just have Kay older. I feel she is limited to what she can do as a child, so I'm stepping her up a bit. Think of it as…upgrading, like an old cell phone.

One more thing, originally, I was going to make this story 25 chapters, but at the request of a beloved reader, who said "Don't dare make it less than 30." I am now cowering in my writing corner and extending it. Hahaha, don't worry, I was thinking about it anyway. So, enjoy. Also, all of my readers are beloved, if you have a request, ask me and I'll do my best.

Sesshomaru sat against a tree in the shade as Kay was playing in a small river with her sleeves pulled up. She would catch a fish, release it, and try again. The river turned into a waterfall a little ways down, but she was in no danger, until she got a bright idea.

"Hey Sesshomaru, what is this?" she asked, acting as if she were teaching him something. Which she was, the lesson today is, "Run Fast If You Want To Catch Me."

"A huge piece of bark you just tore off a tree." He said back with boredom.

"Correct. Now, tweak it up a bit, and now what is it?"

"A piece of bark floating down the river with you on top…Kay! Get back here!" Sesshomaru yelled, running alongside the river and trying to catch her.

"Make me!" she said back, being calm as the water sped up.

"There's a waterfall!"

"I know! Waterfalls make it just fucking awesome!" Kay said, approaching the waterfall with gaining speed.

"Kay!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kay screamed/laughed as she went over the edge of the crashing waters and landing in the water below. Sesshomaru looked over the cliff and frantically searched for the thrill seeking girl. He saw her head pop out of the water as she swam to shore. Sesshomaru exhaled and jumped down to her. He pulled her to her feet and glared.

"Out of all the things you've done, that was the most idiotic." He scolded, checking her for injuries. Kay just looked at him awkwardly.

"Ok, Mom." She said sarcastically.

"Don't call me that."

"My apologies, Mother."

"Can't you just say, "I won't do it again?" I swear your mouth will get you killed one day."

"Dude, I'm serious, you sound like a parent, stop scolding me."

"I am only looking out for you."

"Which is what parents and siblings do."

"Fine. You win and don't do this again. What made you think you could surf off a waterfall and not get hurt?"

"I don't know what I thought. The inner mechanisms of my mentality are an enigma." Kay said back, smiling at the demon dog's apparent frustration.

"Stop being a smart ass."

"Stop being a dumb ass."

"Will you ever stop?"

"Why don't you stop? You're the bigger person."

"You're right, I am the bigger person…considering you only come to my hip in height."

"That may be, but coming only to your hip is the best aiming device."

"Aiming device for what?"

"When I want punch you in the balls, they're right there. I don't have to reach down, or up, I just punch."

"You're impossible." Sesshomaru mumbled as he picked Kay up and sat her on his shoulders. She placed her hands on top of his head and rested her chin on her hands.

"Want to play I Spy?" she asked him, hinting her sudden boredom.

"Sure."

"I spy with my little eye something red."

"Your outfit?"

"Nope."

"The flowers on my outfit?"

"No, but seriously, the flowers make you look gay."

"Silence. Is it the demon markings on my face?"

"More or less, your eyeliner, but I'll give you that one. Your turn."

"Fine. I spy something,"

"Say the whole thing, Fluffy."

"Grrrr. I spy with my little eye something yellow."

"Is it your sash?"

"Yes. Your turn."

"Wow, you suck. I spy with my little eye something green."

"Grass."

"No."

"Leaves."

"No."

"Uh, I give up."

"It's the grasshopper that jumped on your head."

"Get it off."

"No, it's cute."

"Get it off!"

"Stop being such a girl!" Kay said, plucking the bug off his head and letting it jump away. Sesshomaru walked for a while longer and stopped to take a rest. Kay slid off his shoulders and down his back, plopping onto the ground. Sesshomaru sat down against a tree and watched as Kay spotted a squirrel. She got on all fours and quickly crawled to the animal. The squirrel flicked its tail and turned around as Kay hid behind a tree. It turned back around and Kay continued her hunt. Kay pounced and the squirrel ran away from her.

"Awww, damn. Almost had him." She said, picking up a nut he was looking for. Kay walked over to Sesshomaru and smiled as he stared worriedly at her.

"You act as if you've never been outdoors."

"I've been outdoors, just not like this." She replied, holding the nut up in her fingers.

"Your technique is rusty. At this rate, you will never catch that squirrel."

"There is always more than one way to do something." She replied, wiggling the nut and making a chirping noise. Sesshomaru watched in awe as the squirrel crawled in a spiral pattern up the girl's body and sat on her shoulder, flicking its tail. She handed it the nut and the animal stuffed it in its mouth.

"Haha, cute." Kay said, patting its head.

"Impossible." Sesshomaru said, leaning forward. The squirrel chirped and Kay responded with her own noises. The squirrel ran down her body and ran away.

"Bye, Lipton!" Kay called.

"Lipton?"

"That's what I named him."

"You knew him for three minutes."

"So?" she responded. Sesshomaru shook his head and stood up, motioning for Kay to follow. Kay walked behind him while trying to walk like him. After a while she gave up at trying to be perfect and sighed with boredom.

"Are you still angry with me?" Sesshomaru asked out of the blue.

"No. Why?"

"I was just curious."

"Alrighty then." Kay said, spinning in circles as she walked alongside Sesshomaru, who watched her weird antics. She stopped and stumbled to the side.

"Whoa…dizzy." She mumbled. Kay looked at Sesshomaru and sighed.

"I don't hold grudges based off what people say. You can call me a dirty whore who likes it from the back, but as long as you show no signs of a threat, I won't be mad." She reassured him. Sesshomaru nodded and stopped walking, as he smelled someone coming closer. He saw a human woman, no older than 20, running towards him and Kay.

"Please! Please! You must help my village!" she yelled.

"Hey, your village called, their idiot is missing!" Kay hollered back. Sesshomaru pushed her lightly to silence her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Please, help my village, it's an emergency!" she begged, trying to catch her breath.

"Jesus, lady. Come back when it's a catastrophe." Kay retorted, earning another push. A huge explosion was heard, followed by a mushroom cloud visible to anyone nearby. Sesshomaru looked at Kay as if to say, "There's your catastrophe."

"Oh my God, let's go." Kay said, running towards the village. Sesshomaru followed and decided to be an asshole and leave the lady.

Kay arrived first and saw a group of demons raiding a human village. She giggled as she skipped down the hill to advert their attention.

"Hey assholes! Look at this fine piece of ass!" Kay shouted, pulling her pants down and mooning everyone who decided to look. A green, ogre-looking demon with horns growled at the disrespect.

"Grrrrr, pathetic half-breed!" he shouted, jumping at Kay, who simply pulled her pants up and exhaled flames on him. He fell to the ground dead. The other demons looked at one another and back at Kay.

"Die!" another shouted. Sesshomaru slashed him in half quickly.

"Ladies first." Sesshomaru remarked, landing in front of Kay.

"You're ruining my fun!" she whined.

"Kill as many as you want." Sesshomaru said back.

"Ok! I call the ugly one!"

"They're all ugly."

"My point exactly!" Kay shouted, running at a group of them. She set them on fire while running away from another five chasing her. Sesshomaru effortlessly slashed his opponents apart, making sure Kay wasn't trying anything stupid.

"Hahaha! Bitch!" Kay yelled, running up a wall and letting her pursuers run into it. She pushed off the wall and was surrounded by more. Kay jumped in the air and let two collide, while grabbing a spear from another. She then slapped one demon in the head, struck a red snake-like demon in the balls, hit another one in the stomach, and did the same to the last one, sending him flying.

"Homerun!" Kay said, running away from the ones that ran into the wall.

"You can't touch this!" she teased, jumping onto a roof of a house. An ox demon growled and charged at her.

"Haha, stop! Hammer time!" she sang, sending him flying into the sky with a flaming uppercut. She ran up a set of stairs that led to a temple and when she reached the top, she pushed a demon down backwards. She ran on the ledge next to him to watch him better.

"Everyone loves the slinky! You're gonna get a slinky! Slinky! Slinky! Go slinky, go!" Kay sang. The demon stopped rolling on the last step.

"Ahhh! Damn! Every time! It always lands on the last fucking stair!" Kay whined, killing that demon and running back for more. She caught the attention of the last five demons and headed towards Sesshomaru, who was waiting patiently.

"I saved you some!" she called.

"How kind of you." He said as Kay jumped over him and out of the way. Sesshomaru killed them with his acidic whip and turned to Kay, who was laughing.

"That was super fun!" she exclaimed, following him out of the village. Sesshomaru yawned and realized he was bored too. He walked until he found a nice lake for Kay to occupy herself while he slept off his boredom.

"Damn, no waterfall." He heard Kay mumble as she looked over the edge. Sesshomaru had an urge to push her in, but decided not to start something he was unwilling to finish. He leaned back on his fluff and quickly fell asleep. Kay, on the other hand, dubbed the sleeping Sesshomaru as her entertainment. She giggled as she flicked rocks, leaves, bugs, and other objects as he continued to sneeze.

"Hahaha, this one is going on the wall." Kay mumbled as she picked up an orange sized rock. She launched it in the air, no clue where it was heading until it struck Sesshomaru on the forehead.

"Oops." Kay said as his stare turned upon her.

"Why you little," he barked as he stood up. Kay ran from him but was caught around the leg with his whip. He flicked his wrist and brought her closer to him.

"Ahhh! Ahhh! No! Rape! Rape! Rape!" she cried out as Sesshomaru picked her, up, cradled her, and hurled her as far as possible into the lake. Sesshomaru smiled as a satisfying smack silenced the screaming girl for only a moment, but it was a savored moment. She popped up out of the water and swam to shore, breathing heavily. Sesshomaru sat back down and exhaled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her as if nothing happened.

"Yeah, what are we having?" she asked, standing up and wringing out her sleeves.

"I have no clue."

"Hear, I have an idea, how about I get you a spoon and you can eat my ass!" she hollered. Sesshomaru stared at her blankly.

"You started it, whore." He said simply. Kay's face went from angry to confused. She then giggled at him.

"You have learned well, grasshopper." She said to him, drying herself off with a heat blast. She sat down and sighed as Sesshomaru stood up and loomed over the lake. E bent down and grabbed two fish with lightning fast speed.

"Damn! That was at least nine G's of speed there." Kay said, pulling on a lock of hair. Sesshomaru looked at her and frowned.

"Nine G's? What is that?" he asked, walking over to her.

"Nine G's is when some idiot stands on the corner of a street going, "G G G G G G G G G!" Hahaha! Nine G's is how we clock speed." Kay said, laughing at her own retard voice. Sesshomaru handed her the fish.

"What?" she asked.

"You're the fire bender. What do you think I want?"

"I think you want a nice, piece of ass." Kay said, heating the fish up instantly. Sesshomaru growled at her answer, but took his fish and ate it quietly. Surprisingly, Kay ate her quietly too, but that wasn't to last very long.

A few minutes later, Sesshomaru rubbed his stomach, groaning at the stomach pains.

"What's wrong?" Kay asked him, blowing flames out of her mouth like a blowtorch.

"My stomach feels odd. I think that fish was bad."

"Yeah, naughty fish are becoming more common."

"I meant that it's making me sick."

"I never meant to give you mushrooms, girl! I never meant to bring you to my world! And now you're lying in the corner cryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…OW!" Kay yelped, rubbing the spot where a rock had just hit her. Sesshomaru exhaled and felt better, until that damned rock came flying back ten fold, striking him in the head.

"Damn it, Kay!"

"You started it that time!"

"You were…damn, fine, sorry."

"Hahaha, you will be sorry after I plant a couple of pop knots on your head."

"Where did you learn to talk like this?"

"The States, yo! In the States, yelling insults is everyday conversation. Well, for some of us it is."

"I see."

"So…why don't you want to marry? You claim to be straight, so explain to me why you're not interested in women?" Kay asked, lying on her stomach and propping her head up with her hands.

"Because my mother keeps dumping them on me. She finds the worst ones and thinks I will like them."

"Yeah, your mom is the worst matchmaker ever born."

"Plus, I do not wish to marry…ever."

"Why not?"

"Women are complicated."

"Who told you that?"

"No one, this is my perspective. Here is an example, you're not even a woman yet and you're driving me crazy."

"You're not even a man, so I don't know what you're complaining about."

"I am too a man."

"You are a WO-man."

"I don't know why, but I will not hit you."

"You won't because you know it does no good."

"Perhaps. Listen, I'm going to take a bath so, do whatever, but don't watch me." Sesshomaru ordered, standing up.

"Why would I want to watch you take a bath?" she asked him, forgetting not to look as he took off his shirt. He let it fall to the ground and sighed.

"Turn around."

"I'm turning." She said, going in a complete circle, ending up watching him again.

"Face the tree behind you." He ordered, struggling with his pants. Kay faced the tree and sighed.

"Alright, seriously, don't look. I don't have my pants on." He said, stepping into the cold water.

"Oooh, me so horny." She replied dryly. He found deeper water that came to his waist and shivered, missing the palace bathtub. He saw Kay plucking blades of grass and thought of an idea.

"Kay, will you warm the water?" he asked.

"Whatever." She growled turning around and dipping her hands in the water. She inhaled slowly and exhaled with the same speed. Sesshomaru felt the water warm up and he relaxed.

"Thank you. Now, turn around." He ordered. Kay did as she was told, mumbling a few insults while she was at it.

Sesshomaru quickly bathed and crawled out, shaking the water off of him like a dog. He also noticed Kay was too quiet.

_'It's a good thing Kay didn't see me do that. She would never let me live it down.' _He thought, pulling his pants up. He dressed completely and sat down in front of Kay, wincing at what his saw.

"No wonder she was quiet, she's been asleep." He said quietly, gently pulling the girl closer to him. He laid her down on his fluff and lay beside her, falling asleep as well.

AN- Well, I tried. I need one more person to say, "Yes, I want a sequel" or it won't happen. Anyway, tell me how I did on this one. Peace out, rock on.


	14. Chapter 14

Bad Language

AN- Ran out of title ideas. Haha, what's this, the third time? I don't care. Anyway, I got ten people saying they want a sequel, five on reviews and the other five took the time to message me, so…yeah, majority rules say yes, but the sequel is a while away from now.

Sorry people who did not want a sequel, but I promise the sequel will be just as great, if not greater, than this story. I promise and I have never broken a promise in my life. If you still don't want a sequel, when I post it, pretend it does not exist. XD That's what I do to get by.

Warning: This chapter contains excessive cursing. (Compliments of Kay) I'm not joking, there is a sentence that is nothing but curse words, so, yeah, I do not take responsibility for anything, including myself.

Kay woke up and yawned, looking at Sesshomaru whom had his face buried in his fluff to block out the light.

"Today's going to be a good day. Know why I know? I don't either." Kay mumbled, standing up and stretching. She exhaled and set a patch of grass on fire. She waved it out impatiently.

"I really need to stop doing that."

"Yes you do. What if you ignited some kind of explosive?" Sesshomaru growled.

"What if I had a fucking hand grenade or tomahawk missile? Get over yourself." Kay said back, scratching her black hair, which had now grown past her shoulders. Sesshomaru sat up and assumed it was time to move on. He wrapped the fluff around his shoulder and began walking; purposely walking in long, fast strides to piss Kay off.

"Damn it! Slow down!" he heard her call from behind him.

"I'm not even walking that fast." He argued back, keeping his head turned so she couldn't see him smirking.

"Ok, you've made your point! Compared to me, you're a God damn giant! Slow down!" she begged, in a jog just to stay by his side.

"What would you do if I started running?"

"I would kick your ass!"

"Before or after you catch it?"

"Right after I shove a six foot branch up there! Jesus, slow the fuck down!"

"Did you just call me Jesus? So am I your God now?"

"You are Satan's asshole! Which is great, because I stick things up assholes all the time!"

"Like your penis, Oswald?"

"Yes, I stick Oswald up there once a blue moon, but in your case, I'm sticking blunt objects up there!"

"Oh, how lucky of me."

"Slow down, you stupid twat!"

"I'm not even going that fast."

"No, but this argument is going nowhere!"

"Do you admit defeat?"

"Only if you slow down."

"Fine." Sesshomaru said, slowing his pace down. Kay huffed and lit a branch on fire. She blew it out and growled.

"Admit it." Sesshomaru ordered.

"Admit what?"

"Your defeat."

"Ok, I'll admit it, you're an asshole."

"Whatever. Winning against a twelve year old is like you winning against a newborn baby." Sesshomaru growled. Kay smiled as she starting swinging from branches. She really didn't think about doing it, she just grabbed a branch and swung from tree to tree.

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked him.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she said back, grasping a branch with her legs and swinging forward to grab another with her hands.

"Can't you just answer my questions instead of asking another?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know."

"You're right. The inner mechanisms of your mind are an enigma."

"FUCK!" Kay yelped as she missed a branch and fell to the ground. She stood up, brushed herself off and giggled at her stupidity.

"Hahahahahaha!" she busted out laughing.

"What in the hell is the matter with you?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Haha, oh nothing, I'm just on drugs." She replied

"You wouldn't be laughing if you had a serious injury."

"I do have a serious injury."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I have this huge crack in my ass." She replied as if she really had an injury. Sesshomaru snorted, but said nothing back to her. He sighed as he tried to think of a place to stay while waiting for his father's consent to come back to the Western palace. Sesshomaru heard Kay grab another branch and swing forward, onto his shoulders. He said nothing and continued sifting through places to go. He continued walking and smelled water, with another waterfall.

_'That should make her happy.' _Sesshomaru thought, remembering he told her NOT to do anything with waterfalls again, but she disregarded anything he said anyway, so, what the hell? Let her. Kay hopped of his shoulders and sniffed the air.

"I smell a waterfall!" she said in a high voice.

"Me too." Sesshomaru said back, noticing the scent of another person. He stopped Kay and peeked through the bushes.

"I want to be a peeping Tom!" Kay whispered.

"It's a young woman."

"I lied. I don't want to be one."

"Tell me the truth, how do I look?" he asked her seriously. Kay checked him out with her eyes and smiled.

"You can't handle the truth." She said.

"Tell me!" he hissed.

"Are you going to make a move on her?"

"Perhaps, either that or scare her away."

"If you're going to scare someone, don't think about it, just do it." Kay said, walking out of the bushes. Sesshomaru decided to let her do the work…again. Less energy he had to use. Kay walked out and realized Sesshomaru lied, it wasn't just a young woman, it was young women, three of them.

_'Ok, Mr. Dickhead needs to learn how to count.' _Kay thought as she walked up to the women. They had just gotten dried off and were putting on clothes. One woman spotted her and does what all women do when they see a cute little child.

"Awwww! Look how cute she is!" one began. The other two turned around and smiled.

"She is a cutie! Are you lost, sweetie?" another chirped. Kay shook her head "no" with her irresistible, "Angel" face on. Sesshomaru's eyes widened.

_'She is too damn good.' _He thought.

"I just want to hug her!" one more said.

"Then hug me, bitch!" Kay shouted, igniting her entire body on fire.

"Dear gods!" one shouted.

"What the hell is she?"

"Is she a demon?"

"Run it's a demon!"

"RUN! I'M A DEMON!" Kay roared, chasing the women away while still looking like the Human Torch. Sesshomaru walked out of the bushes, shaking his head as if embarrassed and sighed as Kay walked back, still on fire.

"Hahahahahahaha! Duuuuuude! I am bad ass!" Kay said, putting the flames out and revealing no injuries. Not even the tiniest singe on her clothing, but she smelled like a chimney.

"No, you're out of your mind." Sesshomaru said, picking the girl up by her collar and tossing her into the water. He sat down and watched her climb out. She walked up to a tree and ripped a piece of bark taller than her off. She jumped up the side of the cliff and ran down the river. Sesshomaru watched as she came flying over the edge.

"HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAATTTTTT!" she screamed, hitting the water hard. Kay crawled out with her bark, rubbing her stomach.

"Hahaha, that one hurt my kids!" she moaned, still smiling. Kay began jumping back to the top, leaving Sesshomaru to wonder how many more times she was going to do it until she got morbidly hurt. He smelled fire and looked up, seeing Kay jetting fire out of her hands and feet to go faster, as if she needed it.

"Come on Sesshomaru!" she called, falling off the edge. She got out and climbed back to the top.

"Woooooo! You know you want tooooooooooo!" she taunted again, falling into the water. The funny thing was, Sesshomaru knew he didn't want to because he knew Kay would, one way or another, sabotage his ride, causing him to break something valuable, like an arm, leg, spleen, balls, anything he needed, she would injure without hesitation.

"Come on Kay, are you almost finished?" he asked.

"Did you bring me here to make me happy?" she asked, climbing back to the top.

"Yes."

"Well, aren't you a doll?" she chirped, throwing the bark off the edge.

"Now what are you doing?" he asked with annoyance.

"Free styling." He heard her mumble as she stepped into the water. Sesshomaru smelled a strong demon coming closer just as Kay reached the edge. Sesshomaru jumped into the air, claws dripping with poison, but he stopped when he almost ran into his father.

"Father?" he asked.

"Sesshomaru?" Inutaisho said.

"DICKWEEDS!" Kay shouted as she flew off the edge and into the floating demons, causing them all to fall into the water with unneeded force. Inutaisho crawled out of the water, wringing out his long, silver ponytail. Sesshomaru came out next, not even bothering to try to wring the water out of anything. He was planning on wringing out Kay's neck.

"Oh my God! You two are the most fucking retarded guys I have ever met in my life! Yeah, standing right where I come flying off the edge is real fucking cool! Getting the fuck out of my way is fucking cooler!" she shouted, rubbing her arm which she used to elbow Sesshomaru in the chest, who kicked his father in the leg, who backhanded Kay as they fell.

"Watch your mouth!" Sesshomaru snarled. Kay turned her head up and looked down, watching her mouth.

"You are a stupid, fucking retard!" she said. Inutaisho sighed and stepped in between them before any pointless fights broke out again.

"Why are you here?" Sesshomaru asked him, arms crossed as his soggy clothes dripped. Inutaisho shook off a bit before answering his son.

"Well, I took care of the army, but I'm not entirely sure if we should bring Kay back so," Inutaisho said, trailing off as he saw Kay sneaking up on Sesshomaru with a fish. She quickly pulled his pants away, dropped the fish in, and backed up to watch Sesshomaru jumped around like a little girl while trying to grab the fish.

"Damn it…Kay! I'm going to tear you apart!" Sesshomaru snarled as the slippery fish continued to dance through his fingers.

"Hahahahahaha!" Kay felt unthreatened by him at this point. Come on, he was jumping around with both hands inside of his pants, if that's not funny, then comedy is just a myth.

"Sesshomaru, you really are pathetic. Why would you turn your back on her for even…AH SHIT!" Inutaisho screamed as he felt a cold, wriggling creature enter his pants as well. He danced around as well as Sesshomaru, trying to pull the fish out. Finally, father and son pulled the fish out of their pants. They turned to throw them back, but stopped as they caught each other's stare.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Inutaisho asked Sesshomaru.

"Maybe." Sesshomaru said back with a smile. Kay stopped laughing as both dog demons turned to her, smirking evilly.

"Uh oh!" Kay yelled, running away as they dove after her. Kay ran a few feet, but was caught by the arm by Sesshomaru. He tried to get the fish in her pants, but Kay was more than willing to kick him in the nuts.

"You can't get in my pants that easily!" she teased him.

"But I can!" Inutaisho barked, trying to grab the slippery girl while hanging onto the slippery fish.

"Just because you fuck anything that walks, doesn't mean I'm easy to invade either, douche bag!" Kay yelled, grabbing the fish from him and hurling it back into the water.

"Damn it!" Inutaisho whined, trying to catch the fish, but it made it in the water before he could. Kay picked up Sesshomaru's and threw it back as well.

"Ahahaha! Bitches!" Kay giggled, pointing at the failure dog demon and son. Sesshomaru jumped into the water, not caring because he was already wet, and caught two more fish. He jumped out, handed one to his father and smirked.

"I'm sorry, what was that, bitch?" he asked her.

"Bitch is a female dog. Dog barks. Bark is part of a tree. Tree is part of nature. Nature is beautiful. Thanks for the compliment." She said as if she rehearsed that speech in a mirror everyday.

"Whatever. This fish is going in your pants!" Inutaisho yelled as Kay ran away. Sesshomaru and his father easily caught up to her, but just as they both went to grab her arms, Kay ignited her entire body once again.

"Whoa!" Inutaisho yelled, backing off.

"Yes, she has a whole arsenal of tricks that I'm not even aware of." Sesshomaru said, watching the flaming girl run off.

"Do you think she will ever lose?" Inutaisho asked as his fish stopped moving.

"That is something you should be asking a psychic, not me." Sesshomaru growled, throwing his fish in the water. Inutaisho agreed and threw his in the water before it stopped breathing. They followed the scent of fire to where Kay was resting in a tree.

"That little trick of yours eats your energy, doesn't it?" Inutaisho asked.

"Not really, just keeping the flames from burning me does." She replied, finally catching her breath. She jumped down when she realized they didn't have any fish with them. They sat down and rested a bit more.

"Alright so the plan is to move from the Western palace to the Western Beach palace." Inutiasho said, pushing his hair out of his face.

"Dude! Beach party!" Kay said, throwing her hands up.

"The summer palace? What makes you think they won't go there?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Because, it was recently built, Tommy knows nothing about it." Inutaisho replied.

"Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!" Kay chanted happily. Inutaisho rubbed her head and smiled, wishing he had a child as energetic and funny as her. Instead, he got the serious, stoic, stick in the sand Sesshomaru as a son who couldn't even smile at the smallest joke.

"Father?" Sesshomaru asked, interrupting Inutaisho's fantasies.

"Hm?" he asked.

"Something bothering you?"

"Huh? No, I was just thinking about something."

"What would that be?"

"Why can't you be funny and energetic like Kay?" Inutaisho asked as he watched Kay sneak up to a bird sitting on its nest.

"Because I'm not an idiot." Sesshomaru replied as the protective mother bird began pecking away on Kay's head.

"Ahhh! God damn, shit, bitch, ass, piss, damn, fuck, shit, ass, damn, twat, piss, fuck, son of bitch, dick, ass, piss, shit, damn, cunt, shit, ass, damn, fuck, cunt, fuck, shit ass, damn twat…PISS!" Kay shouted as she tried to run away from the angry mother bird.

"She's not an idiot, she's just…weird." Inutaisho replied, realizing Kay really was retarded from time to time.

"Ahhhh! Get the fuck away!" Kay yelled, as the bird flew back to her nest.

"Damn, talk about being a bitch." She mumbled.

"Talk about being foolish." Sesshomaru added in.

"Shut the fuck up! You speak when fucking spoken to, ok! This is not fucking high school, mother fucker!" Kay snapped back.

"Hahaha, wow, your father never even said fuck that many times in one breath and that is his favorite word, next to I." Inutaisho said with a smile, ignoring his son's glares.

"Well, I use fuck ten times better than him. He uses it all wrong." Kay said, cracking her knuckles.

"Cursing makes you sound ignorant." Sesshomaru growled.

"You're just jealous because I sounder so much more interesting than you when I do curse."

"No you do not."

"Yes I fucking do, you stupid dumb ass excuse of a dog demon bitch's son!" Kay said back.

"She tells the truth." Inutaisho said, standing up.

"Whatever." Sesshomaru growled.

"What the fuck ever." Kay said with a smile.

"Alright ladies, let's go to the beach palace. I'd like to get there before sundown." Inutaisho interrupted.


	15. Chapter 15

Insert Title Here

AN- I, ActionBitch, am a disgrace. I can't think of one title name. Oh well, I'm on a roll with these chapters, though, they're losing their quality, so, give me some slack, I'm in a borehole of a town where nothing happens. Also, school starts on Tuesday for me, ugh, school.

"Kay, where do you get all of this energy?" Inutaisho groaned tiredly as Kay was literally bouncing off the walls.

"Unlike you…I'm young and full of life…whoa!" Kay said, slipping on the floor while trying to jump off the wall.

"Heeeeeey…I'm not _that_ old." He whined.

"No, but you are in a stage of old, which is plainly old in my book." Kay said, actually standing still for more than two seconds. Inutaisho yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was having second thoughts about having an energetic child like her.

"So, where's Kimi?" Kay asked, standing on her hands and trying to walk.

"She's on her way here. She was making sure everything was secure and ready for whenever we return."

"I hope we don't. This place is pretty tight." She said, standing back up on her feet.

"You say that now. When winter comes, you will wish you had never said that, but fortunately, winter is a long ways from now, so you might as well enjoy your stay."

"I am." Kay chirped, finally falling down on the pillows on the floor. They were a light blue color, resembling the nice ocean view the living room area got. Kay sighed and sat up, feeling unusually restless.

"Hey, Inutaisho?"

"Hm?"

"What is the purpose of carrying around three swords?"

"They all have different abilities."

"Like?"

"Well, this one is Tetsuseiga, it can slay a hundred demons with one swing of its blade." Inutaisho began, pulling the sword out of its sheath, but not transforming it.

"Looks like a piece of shit." Kay said while frowning.

"But now," Inutaisho trailed off, transforming the sword.

"It's not." He ended.

"Hahaha, big sword."

"Mhm."

"Are you confiscating for something?"

"You're so mean. Now, this one is Tensaiga. It can save a hundred souls in one sweep."

"Tch, sounds like another piece of shit to me."

"Well, if you die, I can bring you back."

"But I won't die."

"True. Now, last, but not least, Sounga." He said, pulling Sounga from the sheath from the back of his armor.

"This can open the gateway to Hell, summon numerous dead souls, and essentially is stronger than Tetsuseiga and Tensaiga…when they're alone." Inutaisho said.

"Now that is not a piece of shit. It's pretty bad ass, I like that one the best." Kay said, wanting to touch it, but a voice inside her head said not to.

"I knew you would, you're such a demented child." he said, placing the sword back in its sheath.

"Can you blame me?" she asked, throwing a grape in the air and catching it in her mouth.

"Not really, but there will be a point in time in your life where you can distinguish between what's right and what's wrong, and I pray that you will make the correct decision." Inutaisho replied.

"But what if the correct decision is the wrong decision?" Kay asked him, eating another grape.

"I can't see how that will ever happen to you."

"I can't really say I'm the luckiest person out there."

"You are if you can out run me."

"I was able to outrun you because you're retarded. That's not luck."

"Oh! I'm retarded? Who got pecked on the head by a bird?"

"Me."

"So who's retarded?"

"You."

"Damn…I can't win!" Inutaisho whined, pressing his face into a pillow.

"Hahaha, nope." Kay chirped. Inutaisho let out a groan and beat a pillow with his fist. Kay yawned and waited patiently for Inutaisho to fall asleep. When he did, she got up and opened the doors that led to the beach.

"Man, it's been forever since I've been to a beach." She said, running off the deck and landing in the sand. Kay walked out further and took off the top part of her kimono.

"It's hot as Hell down here." She mumbled, taking the white undershirt off, leaving her bra and pants on.

"Whatever, it's like a bathing suit top, I guess." She convinced herself as she ran down to the water. She waded into waist deep water and sighed. The ocean was boring unless you had something to ride it with. Kay sniffed the air and hopped out of the water, landing on all fours and sniffing the sands like a dog. She inhaled some sand and sneezed.

"Ewwww! Gross! God damn sand!" she whined, holding her head higher. Kay saw two guards making their round trip around the palace. She saw one had a round shield in his hand and she smiled.

"Hey, cool dude with the shield!" she called, running up to him. He turned to her and bowed.

"Need something?" he asked.

"Yeah, can I have your shield?" she asked him.

"Uh, yes, you may." He replied, handing it to her.

"Thanks dude! You're awesome!" she called back to him. The guard looked at his partner.

"What the hell is a dude?" he asked. The other guard shrugged.

"I don't know. Kids these days confuse me with their lingo, as they call it."

"Yeah, tell me about it. What the hell happened to the good old days?" he asked, walking away with his partner.

Kay sat the shield on the water and smiled as it floated. She picked it up and threw it out further.

"I hope this works!" she said, jumping onto the shield, aiming her arms and hands behind her and shooting flames out of her hands. She flew forward, like a surfer with a rocket on the back of his board. Kay smirked as she came to some big waves.

"Hell yeah!" she called, hitting the first big one she found. She cut the flames off to allow herself to fly in the air, spinning as she did so. She landed back in the water with the flames back on.

"Haha, hey, I've still got my mad skills!" she said, hitting three small ones and preparing herself for another big wave. She hit it as fast as possible, flying into the air once more and flipping twice. Kay landed again and jetted parallel to the waves this time.

_'Hot damn, I am like Jesus in Jet Ski mode!' _Kay thought, hitting two big ones diagonally. She almost wiped out, but she caught her control in midair and landed back in the choppy waters perfectly. She glimpsed at the beach to make sure the "Kay Patrol" A.K.A. Sesshomaru wasn't there to ruin her fun.

_'To be honest, I haven't seen him for a few hours. I wonder where he went. Actually, I lied, I could give two shits and a fuck.' _Kay thought, slamming into the biggest wave yet and twisting in the air. Kay came back down and heard clapping.

"What the fuck?" she mumbled, looking at the beach and seeing Inutaisho and Kimi sitting on the beach in what would be considered bathing suits to them and they were enjoying the show. Kay rocketed herself over to them and exhaled.

"Aww, why'd you stop? That was so much fun to watch." Kimi asked, flipping a strand of hair out of her face. She had her long silver hair in a ponytail as well as Inutaisho, who was shirtless. Kay frowned.

_'And he wonders where Sesshomaru got the habit from? Oh well, I have no room to be talking.' _Kay thought, looking down at her own shirtless torso.

"How long have you been here?" Kay asked.

"A while. You probably just didn't see us. You were going soooo fast!" Kimi replied with a smile. Kay nodded uncomfortably.

"Right. You're not going to scold me for doing anything potentially dangerous or fatal?"

"No, why would I miss out on the opportunity to see someone seriously injure himself _or_ herself?" Kimi asked.

"Uh, I don't know." Kay said.

"Why do you ask, Kay? Does Sesshomaru do that to you?" Inutaisho asked smugly.

"I, uh, I never said that." Kay stuttered.

"You were thinking it." He retorted. Kay leaned over in Kimi's ear.

"I don't like him, he reads minds." Kay whispered.

"Yes, he does get cocky when he's right. Inutaisho, leave her alone dear." Kimi said.

"I wasn't doing anything. Go back to your surfing, Kay. It was fun to watch." Inutaisho said. Kay sighed; she wasn't much for pushy audiences. She threw the shield into the water and jumped on it, jetting off into the waves. She did flips, spins and any move that defied gravity. Kay pulled it off perfectly. She jetted around to face the beach and saw Sesshomaru walking to his parents with his same, expressionless mug shot face on. He sat down next to his father and joined in on watching Kay almost wipe out when she wasn't paying attention to the water.

"Oh damn!" Kay said, trying to make her flames come out, but they didn't and she was stuck, trying to balance weightlessly on the shield. She noticed the sky was getting darker.

"Come on, you piece of shit!" Kay mumbled, exhaling to make the flames shoot out of her hands, but they didn't. Kay looked up in time to see the huge wave to cause her "I got wet," demise.

"Oh shit!" Kay spat, realizing the wave was twice her height. It washed over her and the shield and carried her to shore. Kay landed on the beach face down and looked up, black hair covering her face.

"Fuck." She growled. The shield washed up next to her and Kay sighed, sitting up. She could hear Inutaisho laughing.

"Hahahaha, you lasted a long time out there, I'll give you that much!" he chuckled with his deep, fatherly voice. Kay flipped her hair out of her face and scowled, seeing Sesshomaru staring off into the sky, eyes showing confusion. Kimi was giggling, but she didn't dare say anything.

"Yeah, I don't know why my fire bending stopped working though." Kay said, thrusting out a fist where only smoke erupted.

"Well, isn't that a bitch?" she said, noticing a round shadow on the sand.

"Father, what's happening?" Sesshomaru asked, his eyes locked on the sky. Inutaisho looked up and grinned. Kay also looked up and cursed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of all the days, today had to be the solar eclipse! God damn it! Jesus Christ! Mary and Joseph!" Kay whined, falling to her knees in the sand, seeing the moon halfway over the sun.

"What happens on the solar eclipse?" Sesshomaru asked.

"What is this? Honorary Jackass Day? I get my energy and power from the sun, so if the sun gets blocked out," Kay began.

"So does your fire bending." Sesshomaru finished.

"Sesshomaru, where's your holiday spirit?" Kay asked him, growling.

"Why are you so angry? It's only for eight to ten minutes." Inutaisho asked, eyes watering from staring too long without blinking.

"Yeah well, fire bending isn't all that I lose on the eclipse." Kay mumbled angrily. Sesshomaru looked at her and smirked.

"You turn human on the eclipse too?" he asked, sounding more amused than sympathetic.

"What happened to Honorary Jackass Day?" Kay asked him smugly. Sesshomaru growled at her in response.

"So, you lose all defenses, except your mouth, on the solar eclipse, interesting. Hey Sesshomaru, I think eight minutes is enough time to extract our revenge on her, don't you?" Inutaisho asked, standing up.

"I agree." Sesshomaru replied, already on his feet. Kay looked up; two-thirds of the sun was blotted out. Now, Kay couldn't even make smoke, let alone a flame. She looked back down at her hands, no claws. Kay felt completely defenseless.

"Let's see, what all can we do to her?" Inutaisho asked, circling Kay.

"I don't know, Father." Sesshomaru said, also circling Kay, who looked at Kimi for help. Kimi sighed and stood up, walking over to Kay. She picked her up and received death glares from her husband and son.

"She's completely defenseless!" Kimi yelled.

"She deserves anything we do to her!" Inutaisho argued back.

"When she picked on you two, she never did it at a moment when you couldn't fight back, so, if you can't do the same, then you're shit out of luck. Come on Kay, stay with me." Kimi said, carrying the child, who stuck her tongue out at father and son spitefully.

"Oooh, she's good." Inutaisho growled.

"But two full-fledged dog demons are better." Sesshomaru replied, walking into the palace behind his mother, noticing the complete eclipse. Inutaisho threw on his shirt while carrying Kay's clothes and growled, wishing his wife wasn't so sympathetic.

"She's cold, then she's caring for a human. Damn mood swings." He growled, following Sesshomaru into the kitchen. Kimi was sitting next to Kay, which Sesshomaru sat down right next to her as well.

"Sesshomaru, if you even think about hurting her, I will make you wish you weren't born." Kimi warned. Kay shook from fright as she met Sesshomaru's cold glare. She gulped and saw Inutaisho's same expression.

"Aw…hell." Kay mumbled as they continued glaring at her like a dog does with a piece of meat. Kay tugged on Kim's sleeve and she turned and glared angrily at father and son, who quickly looked away as if Kay didn't deserve to be punished.

"You two are the biggest assholes I've ever met." Kay whined as they continued their stares.

"As if you don't deserve it?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I never said I didn't." she retorted.

"Kay don't talk to them, it will only provoke them." Kimi said. Kay looked up at her and sighed.

"Hey, Kay, isn't this your guitar that my wife so kindly brought for you?" Inutaisho asked, holding it up. Kay twitched as her beloved guitar hovered a few inches off the ground. As long as she has owned it, the guitar had never touched the floor. Plus, it was signed by one of her biggest influential rock stars, Nikki Sixx, so that meant everything to her.

"Inutaisho, if you do anything to it, I will never have sex with you again." Kimi warned, filing her claws.

"That's ok, he'll just cheat on you with my dad again." Kay said, smirking evilly.

"Well, your grandfather forgot to tell you that tequila was involved with that incident!" Inutaisho barked.

"Is tequila involved with all of your gay sex experiences, honey?" Kimi asked, glaring at him. Inutaisho gulped and shook his head "no."

"Ahhhh! Kimi!" Kay yelped as Sesshomaru was charging out of the kitchen with her.

"Sesshomaru, get your ass back here now!" Kimi roared, running after her son. Kay looked up when Sesshomaru ran outside; one-third of the sun was no longer covered. Kay growled angrily, she was only a threat when the moon was completely out of the sun's way.

"Sesshomaru!" Kimi yelled angrily. Inutaisho ran out front of Sesshomaru.

"I'm open!" he yelled.

"Oh no you're not!" Kimi barked, tackling him in the sand. She punched his face back in the sand and took off after her son once more. Sesshomaru looked back and saw his mother's furious face. He almost laughed, until Kay got an arm loose and gave him one hell of an uppercut to the chin. Sesshomaru fell forward onto the beach, landing on top of Kay to keep her from running until back up arrived.

"Sesshomaru, get off of her!" Kimi yelled, trying to push him off, but he kept still. Kimi felt big arms around her waist.

"Sorry sweetie, but this has to be done." Inutaisho said, kissing her on the cheek and pulling out Tetsusaiga. He blew a huge hole in the beach, dropped his wife in it, and buried her up to her neck.

"Damn it, Inutaisho! No more sex!" Kimi yelled, trying to break free.

"Alright Son, get her up." Inutaisho said, putting his sword back. Sesshomaru stood up and felt his mouth drop open. Kay wasn't there. He looked up at the sky, two-thirds of the sun was showing, meaning only a few minutes left.

"Sesshomaru, you're faster, there she goes!" Inutaisho pointed as Kay ran into the water. She dove in and out of sight.

"Grrrrr, damn!" Sesshomaru barked, transforming into his demon dog form and jumping into the water. Kay swam down to the bottom and watched as huge, white paws with sharp claws sought her out.

'_My, my, desperate aren't we?' _Kay thought, avoiding Sesshomaru at all costs.

'_Damn! She has to come up for air sometime!' _Sesshomaru thought, standing still and waiting for his prey. Little to his knowledge, Kay swam out into deeper waters and popped up to take a breath, smiling as the last piece of the moon had passed over the sun.

"Sweet Jesus!" she huffed, feeling her demonic powers kick in.

"Sesshomaru, the eclipse is over! Where is my revenge?" Inutaisho yelled.

"Hey Fluffy! The fire bending is back on!" Kay called out, floating in the air with flames jetting out of her feet. She pushed her hands down while exhaling. Next she separated the energies as Sesshomaru ran after her.

'_Oh no! I forgot!' _Sesshomaru thought, turning around and trying to get out of the water, but it was too late, Kay shot the lightning bolt and struck him in the back. The huge demon dog fell forward and transformed back into his humanoid state, wincing at the pain.

"Woooooooo!" Kay teased, landing next to him while dancing.

"My turn!" Inutaisho called, running after her, but Kimi pulled him down, revealing that she escaped.

"Sorry sweetie, but this has to be done." She whispered to him smugly.

"Cut his nuts off!" Kay yelled happily.

A few hours and one major beating later, the four demons relaxed in the living room, laughing at earlier events and rubbing their sore limbs.

"Hahaha! Sesshomaru! Why would you run after her, knowing she can shoot electricity?" Inutaisho asked. Sesshomaru scowled.

"I had forgotten she could do that." He replied simply.

"I bet you won't forget again." Kay giggled, leaning over Sesshomaru to grab a piece of meat from his bowl. He held it further out, causing her to fall in his lap.

"Kimi, when you said no more sex, did you really mean it?" Inutaisho asked his wife, who stared at him blankly.

"I said that?" she asked.

"…Yes." Inutaisho replied. It went silent, except for Kay's second attempt at stealing Sesshomaru's food. He held it out further and rolled Kay off his lap, pinning her down with his leg, holding the bowl in front of her face and taunting her. Sesshomaru looked up in time to catch his parents making out.

"Ahhh…you're disgusting!" he hissed as he stood up, continuing to hold Kay down. She looked over and saw the scene, struggling more to get out from underneath Sesshomaru.

"Ah! Ah! Gross! Let me go! Ewww!" Kay cried as Sesshomaru enjoyed his brief moment of torturing her. He heard his father moan and decided it was now the time to get the hell out of there.

"Goodnight." He said to Kay, pressing his weight down on her and walking over her.

"Ahhh! Not cool, dude! You weigh at least 500 fucking pounds! Oh my God, my spleen! Holy shit! At least give me the chance to get out of the room before you naked! Ahhhhhhhhh! My eyes! My eyes! They burn!" Sesshomaru heard Kay scream frantically as she ran up to him.

"Enjoy the show?" he asked smugly.

"Fuck no!" she barked, face turning white as Inutaisho suggested Kimi to get ready for the ride of her entire fucking life.

"Uh, maybe we should go down the hall…all the way down." Sesshomaru said, walking down.

"Uh, how about we go fucking break dance on the roof or something?"

"How about we just go outside, to the beach, and listen to the waves rather than my parents' dirty talking?"

"Then can we break dance?"

"Sure…whatever that is, let's just go." Sesshoamaru said, crawling out the window and pulling Kay out, since his parents were blocking the direct way to the beach.


	16. Chapter 16

Like Gene Simmons, Like A Dog, and Like You've Got Too Much Time

AN- If you have not read my previous stories, or paid attention to a few details in this story, then you probably have no clue how much I love Rock n Roll. I worship classic rock music. So, Gene Simmons owns anything that has the band name KISS in it. See? I no longer own this paragraph…or this chapter since his name is part of the title. Hahaha.

Kay and Sesshomaru sat on the roof of the summer palace. They stayed out all night, frightened to come back in because of…well…baby making reasons.

"Ok. Now that night is over with, what should we do now?" Kay asked, mindlessly stroking Sesshomaru's soft, silvery hair. Sesshomaru sighed and didn't move.

"I think we should give them a few more minutes." He replied.

"We just gave them a whole night."

"They don't care. If you walk in there right now, I guarantee you that your eyes will melt out of their sockets."

"That bad, huh?"

"I'm speaking from experience."

"That must've been one hell of an experience."

"Yes…and that's all I'm going to say about that." The demon dog replied, enjoying Kay's accidental back rub she was giving him. She was so occupied with stroking his hair; she was rubbing his back as well.

"Kids! It's safe to come in now!" Kimi called from the window.

"Your definition of safe and my definition of safe are two completely different definitions." Sesshomaru said back.

"Stop being such a pussy!" Inutaisho called from inside of the room. Sesshomaru growled as he stood up and Kay grabbed onto the end of his fluff, laughing as they flew into the air and into the palace in one swift movement.

"Dude, that was fun." Kay said, smiling at Sesshomaru, who stared back at her blankly.

"Easily entertained?" he asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." She replied, following him into the kitchen. She caught whiff of Inutaisho's comment to Kimi.

"You liked that didn't you?" he asked quietly.

"Mhm. Very foreign, almost futuristic." Kimi replied.

"It's called the Gene Simmons." Inutaisho growled seductively.

"OH! Oh God! What happened to good old-fashioned foreplay? Did you learn that from my dad?" Kay shrieked horridly.

'_She's obviously knowledgeable about the things my parents do to each other. Why does she have to ask? As if I want to hear about it.' _Sesshomaru thought, sipping some tea. Inutaisho shifted around in his seat, feeling Kimi's eyes bearing down on him like a mountain of fire.

"Why no, Kay…why would you _think_ that?" Inutaisho asked, almost wanting to kick her back to her parents.

"Because Gene Simmons is a rock god in my time and he has this enormous tongue!" Kay said back, knowing how much trouble she was going to be in, but exposing people for the liars they are is Kay's ultimate goal in life…that and becoming rich.

"Rock god? Who would want to be a god of rocks? Why is having a long tongue so interesting?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Oh wow. It must be Honorary Dumb Fuck Day, today. Rock god, as in god of Rock n Roll! It's a type of music in my era, not a fucking pile of gravel!"

"I do not live in your era, therefore I don't know what you mean! Don't call me an idiot!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"I didn't call you an idiot. I basically called you a dumb fuck. Plus, having a freakishly long tongue turns the ladies on!"

"So, this Gene Simmons is a rock and roll god with a big tongue?"

"Yes."

"What does he have to do with my parents having sex?"

"OH MY GOD! Can you not put two and two together to make four?"

"Explain if you're so smart."

"Your dad did the Gene Simmons to your mom, ok? Gene Simmons has a long ass tongue! Do you get it?"

"No."

"Holy shit! Haven't you had the talk with him yet, Inutaisho?" Kay asked the demon lord frantically, who was having his own problems.

"Uh, no, not really." He replied.

"Damn. Sesshomaru, come here." Kay said, motioning for him to lean over. She whispered in his ear. Inutaisho watched his son's eyes widen as Kay explained what he meant by The Gene Simmons. After Kay was finished, Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

"So you take the tongue and…" he trailed off.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Ah…disgusting."

"Yep."

"So…tell me Kay, how do you know of such things?" Sesshomaru asked. All focus landed on her.

"Well, in my era, nothing about sex is not known to kids my age. It's pretty sad."

"Oh, sure." Sesshomaru said.

"Yes asshole, I'm a virgin." Kay growled at him. He nodded but said nothing.

"So, Gene Simmons is loved because of his tongue?" Sesshomaru asked, breaking the silence.

"Kind of, it's more of his symbol. Women love him because he's rumored to have slept with over 3,000 women." Kay said.

"He's a human?"

"Yeah, but in concert, he's The Demon."

"Odd."

"Uh huh." Kay said, watching Kimi and Inutaisho leave the room to argue in peace. Sesshomaru sighed and stood up.

"I'm going to sleep." He declared. Kay frowned. All alone. She stood up and walked around the palace, getting and idea of where everything was.

-Sesshomaru's POV-

Quiet. Very quiet. Way too damn quiet. Wake up, get dressed, and find the girl before she does something destructive. Shouldn't be too hard…right? Since when is anything easy with her?

"Sesshomaru! Have you seen Kay?" Inutaisho yelled.

"No, I've been asleep." Sesshomaru said back.

"Then get up! I haven't seen her for hours!" he yelled back frantically. Sesshomaru stood up and pulled on his kimono and fluff. He tied his yellow sash around his waist and walked out into the corridor, where maids, servants and guards searched for the girl.

"Damn. How hard is it to find her?" Sesshomaru mumbled, sniffing the air. He caught her scent and walked to the beach where is led. Her scent stopped at the beach.

"It's as if she has disappeared completely. Hm…if I were a mouthy half-breed who knows no boundaries, where would I go?" Sesshomaru asked himself, looking around. Sesshomaru gave up on trying to think like her, too random and complicating for him to handle. He sat down on the beach, exhaling slowly. His ears twitched as he heard something that sounded like scratching. He looked down beside him and like straight out of the movie, Alien, Kay's head popped up from the sand, smiling as if nothing happened.

"Hahaha, I are Happy Digging Dog." She said childishly, pulling herself out. She sat beside Sesshomaru and looked up.

"I thought you were sleeping." She said, brushing sand off of her. Sesshomaru continued to stare at her with a confused/surprised look upon his face. He said nothing; he just stared at her quietly.

"What?" Kay asked him, moving away from him. Sesshomaru finally gathered words together and sighed.

"I thought you were gone." He said.

"No, I've been out here…digging holes." She replied innocently, pointing to the numerous holes in the beach.

"Digging holes? Why?"

"I don't know, just an urge I got. Then I said, "Hey, why not dig under the sand?" So I dug under the sand." Kay said, burying her feet in the sand.

"Oh. Well, everyone's been looking for you."

"Oh God, send out the Amber Alert, we're missing a hated half-demon."

"What if someone would've really kidnapped you?"

"What if God smoked cannabis? Dude, no one will kidnap me. If they did, they would pay you to take me back after two hours with me."

"Whatever you say. So, this digging urge, is it fun?"

"Haha, it's entertaining. Watch." Kay said standing up and walking to a patch of sand that had not been dug up. She got on all fours and began pushing it out behind her legs, just like a dog would. Sesshomaru watched as she began to sink from sight. When Kay got deep enough, she began digging forward like a mole. Kay popped in front of Sesshomaru headfirst. She then pulled herself out the rest of the way.

"It's like Mother Nature giving birth to Satan incarnate." Kay said, sand falling from her.

"Satan?" Sesshomaru asked.

"The opposite of God."

"Oh. Come here." Sesshomaru said, motioning for her to sit down in front of him. Kay sat down and Sesshomaru began brushing sand from her hair with his claws.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, jumping when he touched her.

"Getting the sand out from your hair. It's everywhere."

"Well yeah, I was under the beach. I probably have sand in places you don't talk about outside the bedroom." She replied, crossing her legs.

"You are hopeless."

"So are you." She said back.

Inutaisho realized not only was Kay missing, so was his son. He growled as none of the maids, servants or guards had seen neither of them.

"Damn it, he can't take a minute out of his life to help me find the girl? I've raised a monster." Inutaisho griped, walking out to the beach. He looked up and felt like shitting his pants. There they were, Kay and Sesshomaru, digging holes on the beach.

"What in the hell is the matter with you two?" Inutaisho barked, jumping to them.

"Nothing, we're on drugs." They replied simultaneously. Inutaisho relaxed and exhaled, realizing that the PMS Friendship Cycle had landed on "Working Together" today.

"Why are you digging holes?" he asked, feeling like he was stuck in some alternate dimension. Kay digging holes for no reason, he could understand that, but Sesshomaru, never.

"Impulse." They replied, working on the same hole mindlessly. Sesshomaru had nothing but his pants on, as did Kay. Well, she had her bra on too; let's not get stupid.

"Since when is digging an impulse, Sesshomaru?" Inutaisho asked suspiciously, wondering where his son had gone. Sesshomaru leaned up and wiped his forehead with his arm.

"I don't know." He replied, returning to his hole. Inutaisho's eye twitched with annoyance at his short answer. When someone says, "I don't know," when they really do know is just an indirect way of saying, "Kiss my ass and fuck off."

"You don't know why you're digging holes?"

"No."

"Kay, why are you digging holes?"

"Impulse."

"How is that an impulse?"

"I don't know."

"I hope you two die in your holes." Inutaisho mumbled, walking back to the palace. Kay looked up and frowned.

"What's his fucking deal?" she asked, half insulted.

"He's probably angry at my mother…or me for not telling him that I found you." Sesshomaru replied, rubbing his hands together to get some of the sand off.

"Want to build a sand castle or whatever?" Kay asked him.

"If it will make time fly, why not?" Sesshomaru replied, jumping out of the hole.

A few artistic hours later, Kay and Sesshomaru stepped away from their replica of the summer palace. It was just as tall as Sesshomaru, which is impressive for sand castle heights. Sesshomaru had one arm propped on the other, hand pulling at an invisible beard, as if in thought.

"We're missing something." Sesshomaru finally said.

"A bong?" Kay asked.

"No, something on the palace." Sesshomaru said, looking at it and back at the sandy replica.

"Oh! I know!" Kay said, sitting in front of the sand palace and building up a few mounds. A few minutes later she stepped back.

"We were missing us." She said, pointing at her tiny replicas of her and Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru bent down and got a better look at them.

"I don't look like that." He said.

"Well, yeah, I kind of added the boobs for comedy reasons, dipshit." Kay said, bending down as well. Sesshomaru used his claws to flatten his chest and chisel his figure out.

"There, that's me." He said, smirking.

"Oh what the hell ever! You do not have an eight-pack!"

"That's a six-pack."

"You don't have that either."

"No…but I will."

"When? In the year Never?"

"Keep talking. Look, I'm almost there." Sesshomaru growled, pointing at his abs.

"I count four."

"Well, add two because I will get there."

"Whatever queer."

"Plus, if you're going to contradict my artistic skills, look at your sand figure. You gave yourself curves, you don't have curves." He said teasingly.

"No…but I will." She said back.

"Will you ever lose?"

"…No."

"Alright. Future preference question." He said, standing back up.

"God, you're so cocky!" Kay whined.

"I'm cocky?"

"Yes, cocky with a capital cock. No, I still think your penis is small."

"I wish I could prove that you're wrong, but I can't."

"Maybe when I'm older, right?" Kay teased.

"Why would I ever want to see you when you're older? I can't stand you now."

"Whatever, you like me. You can't wait until I turn 18."

"I'll wait until you're…hundreds of years old and you're dying on your death bed."

"Ew, why that old?"

"Because, the last thing I want you to remember is, "Damn…I was undeniably wrong." That's why."

"Oh, so this is an ego reason, right?"

"I guess so."

"Arrogant bastard."

"Stupid half-breed."

"Hahaha, is that your best, dickweed?"

"If you think you can take me, do something."

"Ok." Kay said, squishing the tiny Sesshomaru replica.

"That really hurt." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I couldn't stand staring at a LIE!"

"A lie, is it? Here," Sesshomaru said, squishing Kay's figure.

"That's not a lie, it's a story untold."

"Kay, you're a story untold."

"I know, I'm great."

"A great pain in the ass."

"Thank you, cock lover."

"I do not like men."

"Sesshomaru likes cocks!"

"I do not!"

"Do you like chicken?"

"Yes."

"Then you like cocks."

"Sesshomaru! Kay! What in the hell is this?" Inutaisho asked frantically, dressed in his best clothes and armor. He smelled like wet dog that's drying off.

"It's a replica the palace…I think?" Kay said, realizing the masterpiece had collapsed.

"Well, keep trying, that looks awful! Anyway, the lord from the north and his family are coming tonight! Wash up and get dressed, you look like slobs!" Inutaisho ordered. Kay and Sesshomaru shrugged, picking up their clothes and walking inside, readying themselves for the Northern Lord.

AN- Hahaha, I did something similar to this on the beach once upon a time. Anyhow, let me know how this was.


	17. Chapter 17

As If She Can't Get Worse

AN- God damn it. School starts tomorrow. If I had a choice between going to Hell when I die or school, I would surely choose Hell, because, let's face it; I'm practically flying there with this story. I have my ticket in first class and everything. I'm also praying that God has a sense of humor and will let me off the hook.

Also, I did a recount on sequel requests, and here how it went.

One, it was so late at night, I was seeing three of everything, so I got up and drank some Mountain Dew. Came back, felt better, recounted the votes again.

Yes 16 (Six were reviews, the rest were personal messages. I feel greatly loved. My readers are all very loveable, haha.)

No 2 (One person gave me a valid reason for not wanting a sequel, so I respect that, but another person, out of the blue, kind of went off on me so my question is, "Who peed in your Cheerios?" Also, fuck off this is my world, don't like it, then do one thing, get the fuck out. Anyway, majority rules say THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL. Sorry, nay sayers.)

Sesshomaru sighed as he stood with his father, awaiting the Northern Lord's entrance. If there was anything Sesshomaru hated more than Kay being hyper, it was being co-lord with his father. Speaking of Kay being hyper, since she didn't sleep at all, she made an explicit amount of Happy Tea. Basically, you take tea, add about six or seven teaspoons of sugar, get some other herb that increases your energy ten-fold, and chug it all within five minutes of making it.

"Kay, please quiet down." Inutaisho groaned. Sesshomaru looked at her and literally jumped backwards and landed on his ass.

"What?" Inutaisho asked, turning around and seeing said child. Kay had on her regular, plain red kimono and pants…along with all of her hair in a spiked, red fohawk. She looked pretty wild, more than usual.

"K…Kay? How…h…how did you do that?" Inutaisho asked, bending down and poking her hair.

"Oh my God, oh my God! Dude, listen to this! Listen! This used to be my ultra cool spray painting backpack! I would go around and spray paint buildings and shit! So I had a few extra cans left and what not so I said, "What the Hell, let's put my hair in a fohawk and color it!" Hahahahaha! I are Angry Rooster!" Kay shouted quickly, barely able to stand still or talk slower. Inutaisho stood up and turned to Sesshomaru, who conquered his fear of Angry Rooster and was standing as well. Inutaisho looked at Kay, who had her hands in the air, legs shaking and her tongue was wiggling outside of her mouth. He then looked back at Sesshomaru.

"That's her…eager face." Sesshomaru said, turning around and straightening his posture.

"Oh, there is Lord Aki. Damn, where is Kimi?" Inutaisho asked, looking around anxiously.

"Did you check your ass?" Kay asked, jumping in a circle with a usual grin on her face.

"Sesshomaru, do us all a favor and calm her down." Inutaisho said.

"Sure, right after trees start to grow out of my ass." Sesshomaru growled, bending down to Kay's height and placing his hands on her shoulders to keep her still.

"Kay, listen to me. We need you to…Kay!" Sesshomaru barked, realizing she was too occupied with the ceiling and walls.

"Huh? Oh hey! When did you get so tall?" she asked him loudly.

"Calm down. We can't have you embarrassing us to the Northern Lord and his family."

"Yeah sure, whatev…oh dude! Check out that ugly dude walking up to the door! Hahahaha! His smile is soooooo fake! He's fucking cheesing it big time!" Kay shouted, pointing to the Northern Lord as he walked up to the door.

"So, does she understand how to act?" Inutaisho asked, walking up with Kimi.

"Uh, we're screwed." Sesshomaru replied, standing up and holding Kay by her shoulders in front of him.

"Great." Inutaisho mumbled, opening the door.

"Ah, Lord Inutaisho, it's been a little while." A man with fierce green eyes and red hair in a top not said. He smiled warmly.

"Lord Aki, it's my pleasure have you here." Inutaisho replied, bowing.

"Plllleeeeeeeeeaaaasurable." Kay repeated. Inutaisho shot a look at Sesshomaru, who quickly cupped his hand over Kay's mouth, who continued saying pleasurable in his hand.

"So, I believe this is you beautiful, wife Lady Kimi?" Aki asked, bowing at the hip.

"Waffles!" Kay shouted, escaping Sesshomaru's grasp by licking his hand.

"Ah, disgusting!" he hissed. He quickly grabbed Kay and pulled her back to him, gagging her mouth with his sleeve. Inutaisho scrambled over to Sesshomaru.

"Try to keep a straight face, maybe we can lie and say that she's not here mentally." He whispered.

"It's hard to keep a straight face when she's gnawing on my sleeve!" Sesshomaru hissed back. Inutaisho looked down and saw Kay tugging and pulling the sleeve like a dog would with a toy. She was making growling noises as she did so.

"Just do your best, Son." Inutaisho said as Aki made his way over to them.

"This must be Sesshomaru. He looks a lot like you, Inutaisho." Aki said.

"I always thought he looked like a chick!" Kay added. Sesshomaru's face stayed still, but he covered Kay's mouth again and forced himself not to jump or kill her when she licked his hand again.

"Well, he looks like his mother, but he has your demanding presence, Inutaisho. Oh…who's this?" Aki asked, looking down at Kay, who was struggling like a wild animal to escape Sesshomaru's grasp.

"Haha, I like her hair. What's your name, sweetie?" Aki asked Kay. Sesshomaru took his hand from her mouth and wiped it on his father's sleeve.

"Ew gross!" Inutaisho groaned, stepping away from his son.

"I are Angry Rooster!" Kay said, hands flying in the air.

"Angry Rooster? Well, the name matches your hair." Aki replied.

"…Uh oh!" Kay shouted, running away as Sesshomaru tried to grab a hold of her. He ran by Aki and turned around, bowing.

"Please, excuse me for a moment." He said, quickly turning and running after Kay.

"Lord Aki, you must be tired, let's go in here." Inutaisho said, leading the group off.

"Ewwww! The sex room!" Kay laughed as she ran by, Sesshomaru hot on her trail. Aki chuckled as he sat down.

"Quite the energetic one, isn't she?" he asked, nodding for some tea.

"Uh, yes, we're awfully sorry about her she's…young." Inutaisho said, also nodding for tea.

"Yes, she reminds me of my young ones." Aki continued as Kay jumped to the ceiling and started swinging from the chandelier. Sesshomaru groaned as he came in the room and jumped up there to get her, but she was already running for the door.

"Speaking of, I thought your family was coming with you." Kimi said, eating a cherry and passing the bowl to Aki.

"Oh, they will be here shortly. I had to leave earlier than them for a certain reason. I'm not too sure of it." Aki said, cupping his hands around the teacup and looking towards the door where Kay was hiding behind. Sesshomaru walked in.

"Have you seen…AHHHH! DAMN IT!" he roared, holding his face right after Kay hit him with the door.

"Hahahahahaha!" Kay giggled, hiding behind Aki to escape the demon prince's fury.

"Sesshomaru, why don't you come and join us?" Aki asked him.

"Because of that beast behind you!" he spat.

"Hell yeah! I'm a beast!" Kay giggled, sitting beside Aki and chanting about how she was a beast.

"She's sitting, so why don't you?" Aki continued. Sesshomaru nodded and sat down, keeping an eye on Kay.

"Lord Aki, you say you had to leave early for a reason you don't know?" Inutaisho asked.

"Yes, my advisors planned it out, so I just went along with it. There was no reason to contradict them." He replied, poking Kay's "rooster" hairstyle. She made a beeping noise every time he poked her. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, was watching her carefully, making sure she wouldn't spontaneously combust or anything.

About an hour later, Kay had the biggest crash of her life. She just passed out, right next to Sesshomaru. He was holding her because she continuously tried to set his fluff on fire, so he held her away from him and Kay eventually passed out in his lap.

"Wow, she is really energetic." Aki said, wiping his forehead.

"This is her worst yet. Usually Kay is a little less…psycho." Inutaisho said, poking said girl in the head to see if she would make a beeping noise. He sighed with relief when no beeps came from her. He looked at Sesshomaru.

"Why don't you take her to bed? She's out." He said.

"No kidding." Sesshomaru said, carrying the girl down the hallway and into his room. He placed her on the bed and covered her before walking back out into the room, where more people came in. Sesshomaru grimaced as he saw a woman with light blue eyes and a pink stripe on each cheek come in with twin girls looking the same age in human years as Kay.

"Damn. All I need is more little girls." Sesshomaru growled, walking out into the room and spotting a man about his age walk in. The man looked just like Aki, except his hair was long and straight, like Sesshomaru's.

"An impersonator? Great." Sesshomaru growled again. He walked into the room, looking like nothing bothered him when it did. They began introductions and so began the worst night in Sesshomaru's young life.

AN- Dun, dun, dun! Haha, do I have a chapter planned for you. I may not post it until tomorrow or Wednesday. Thursday at the latest, but I'm positive I will have it finished before hand.

Also, I have a HUGE complaint, for people who are messaging me and COMPLAINING to me about all of my stories. Well, here is my fucking response.

**OF COURSE THEY ARE ALIKE!**

I've been getting lot of messages from people who don't add my story and what not to their favorites and don't review, so basically they don't exist to me…until they complain about something in my stories. I'm sure a few of my long time readers, who have been with me since my first story, Warning: This Is Not An Acid Trip, have noticed that my made up characters seem to have a lot in common.

Well, no duh dipshits, the humor, words, and characters are alike because the same ActionBitch wrote them. Here, let me clear some details up for you.

Shana was my first and undeniably my favorite made up character. She impersonates everything I stand for: Sarcasm, negativity, and Rock n Roll. She makes for a kick ass character. Also, she is ANTI-ROMANCE. Just like me.

Kay was born from the combination of Shana and two other characters I had made, Tiereny and Jamie, who are both energetic and funny. Put energetic and funny together with sarcasm and rock n roll, you get Kay.

Now, I will do something for my fans _and_ haters: Comparing Kay and Shana.

What They Have In Common

Sarcasm

Bad language

Bad attitude

Same type of dog demon I created (Black hair, crimson red stripes, very strong, etc)

Both are fire benders

Both have uncanny abilities to annoy the living Hell out of other dog demons, especially ones named Sesshomaru and/or Inuyasha. (Shana never met Inutaisho, except for two minutes.)

What They Don't Have In Common

Shana is more of the sit down, chill out, and shut up type of person. She would rather be playing video games, tanning, watching TV and/or sleeping then doing anything else. She is active once in a while and she does like to blow things up, but the opportunity for it happening is slim...unless Sesshomaru pisses her off. It's either Shana's way or the highway and if you don't like it, she sends you down the highway to Hell until you do like her way. Also, she's late 17 to 18 years old; she is a veteran when it comes to getting punished and she knows how to skillfully get herself out of trouble without consequences on her part. One more thing, Shana was born into an extremely rich family, so she has no problems paying someone to let her go peacefully.

Kay is the upbeat, hyperactive type of person. She wants to run, play pranks, annoy, and interrupt as much as possible before she dies. She is overactive and blowing things up makes her hard as a rock. Kay loves getting her way, but it happens rarely, so she has to live with what other people want, rather than her wants. She's only 12, making her inexperienced in the getting punished department. Unlike Shana, who wriggles and weaves her way out of trouble, Kay takes her punishment head on with no regrets afterwards. Kay, unlike Shana, comes from a not so rich family; therefore her dream is to be insanely rich. On the other hand, Shana wants to rule the world.

Yes, they have a lot in common, because the same person created them, but if you look at it my way, they are the complete opposite of each other. Yin and Yang. Good and Bad. Light-hearted (Kay) VS Center of All Negativity (Shana).


	18. Chapter 18

And What I Saw That Night Was Real And Not Just Fantasy

AN- I took two requests and put them into one. The people, who requested these, let me know how I did.

Request #1- I want to see this from Kay's POV. I want to get inside of her head and see only what she sees. Basically a story told by Kay, not the author.

Request #2- Take Sesshomaru and put him into an out of character position.

**Kay's POV**

Goddamn my head hurts. Holy shit, does my head hurt a lot. Why did I drink that much Happy Tea? I'm retarded. Hm? What the fuck is this? A bed? I thought I passed out in the living room. Oh well.

I heaved my ass out of bed, even though I had rather stay in bed with my headache. I wanted to know what was going on, who was responsible, and why? I strode down the hallway, not trying to impress anyone, of course, I never could impress even if I tried. I walked into the living room and sighed. Nobody was there. I looked outside and saw that I had been asleep all day. It was pitch, bitch, black dark outside.

"Sesshomaru?" I called out, thinking I heard someone calling my name.

Kay.

"Hello?"

Kay. Damn, there it was again. I couldn't make out whose voice it was. It was just a voice.

Kay.

"God damn it! What?" I yelled, causing my head to surge with a throbbing pain again. I listened to the voice again. It was faint, almost like a wall was between the person calling out and me. I stepped into a hallway.

Kay.

"Not from these rooms." I mumbled, walking into another hallway. I did this to all of the rooms and growled. The voice didn't come from the rooms.

"Outside?" I asked, opening the door. The night was moonless, lucky for me; I do not lose my power on this night like most half demons. I stepped into the soft, cool sand and strained my eyes. I knew better than to start a flame, just in case the person calling my name was an assassin or something. I got on all fours to help break up my outline, making it harder to see me in the darkness.

Kay!

Oh, am I badass or what? The voice was definitely coming from outside. I just wish the jackass calling for me wouldn't be so creepy about it.

Also, I just learned a new trick. If you have a headache and forget that you have one, keep forgetting, but if you remember, the pain comes back like a bitch.

Of course, I learned that trick by remembering about my headache. It was pounding, I mean POUNDING! Like someone was taking a bat and just beating me over the head, which is at the top of my, "What I want done to me," list. Beating me with sports equipment sounds rad, have your people call my people.

Anyway, here I am, crawling in the sand towards a voice that I'm not even sure exists. It could be my imagination, or this could be a dream. My vision is not great, even when it's dark, this brain fuck, no longer a headache, is screwing up my senses.

So here is where the story gets so odd and confusing, that even I, the Great Kay, still can't figure out _exactly_ what the hell happened.

First, there was no moon, not weird, what's weird is that there aren't any stars either. The sky is black! Two, my head is numb.

_And what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy_

A lyric from Iron Maiden's song, "Number of the Beast," I only took that line to explain what I saw, not to say I saw Satan. Of course, listen to the whole song and you will find out it's not about Satan.

Anyway, I saw Sesshomaru kissing another guy and he was LOVING IT! No shirt either. Now, before you start saying, "Oh my god! I knew it!" or "Why? He was mine!" hear me out. I didn't start laughing, I didn't jump in the air and throw a party, and to tell you the truth I barely blinked. I just stared at him and this guy with equally long hair, but it was red. He was all over poor Sesshomaru, who didn't seem to mind. They didn't even notice me until…

"I SO FUCKING CALLED IT!" I yelled, causing the two demons to rip apart so fast Jesus was like "Slow the fuck down!" No joke. The guy with the red hair seemed confused and uncaring by interruption, but Sesshomaru's face was, oh, so priceless. I'm sure Chuck Norris would give his left nut to see Sesshomaru turn that red, and it was dark as Hell outside. Sesshomaru just stared at me, kind of like I was a ghost of the last person on Earth he wanted to see. Well, I was half-right.

"K…Kay?" he asked hoarsely, almost like he was about to die.

"You're…gay?" I asked him, knowing I always teased him about it, but I never actually thought him to be gay, straight or bi. I thought he wanted to be lonely.

"No! No I am not!" he insisted.

"What do you mean you're not? What the fuck is up with kissing a guy? That's what gay guys do!"

"You're out of your mind!"

"No am not! I SAW YOU!" I screamed, becoming angrier by the second. How dare he accuse me of being insane!

"Kay, you need to get your facts straight! I am not gay and I wasn't kissing another man!"

"Then who the fuck is that?" I asked, pointing to the red haired man. I jumped when I saw no red haired man. I sniffed the air and realized I never smelled a scent other than Sesshomaru's before. He even had his shirt magically put back on. I looked in the sky and froze, crescent moon, numerous stars, and the whole nine yards.

"Wha…huh? Dude, where did they come from?" I asked, pointing at the moon and stars.

"They have always been there. Kay, are you feeling alright?" Sesshomaru asked with eyes filled with confusion. I honestly couldn't look him in the eyes. I stared at the sand and sniffed. No other scent but his. I collapsed on my knees, almost wanting to cry.

It was real! It had to be, I mean yeah, my headache/brain fuck hurt like a bitch and interfered with my senses, but making the moon and stars disappear? Making me hallucinate about people I've never met? Making me hallucinate people period? Plus, the weird thing was, my head didn't hurt very much. It was a slight headache now, but I was ok. What's going on?

"Kay!" Sesshomaru barked impatiently. I looked up and frowned.

"What's going on?" I asked, knowing he didn't have a clue either.

"Well, I was sitting out here, enjoying the silence, next thing I know you're out here accusing me of being gay. So, you tell me, Kay." He said calmly, realizing that I was dazed.

"I woke up, I had a really bad headache, and I kept hearing somebody call my name, so I went looking for them. I followed the voice out here and I saw you making out with some guy with long, red hair." I said, massaging my temples. Thinking hurts.

"For the last time Kay, no one was out here. It's just me. Now, a man with long red hair is in the palace. He's Lord Aki's son, Akiro."

"I've never met him! How do I know what he looks like?"

"I should be asking you that. Also, I'm curious about you hearing your name being called."

"Me too."

"One last thing, why did you seem so surprised about the moon and stars being visible?"

"When I came out here, they weren't visible! Dude, I think I'm going insane!"

"You mean you weren't already insane?"

"Shut up! I'm serious!"

"As am I."

"No you're not! I'm going back inside and hanging myself! This headache is killing me again!" I roared. Was I going to hang myself? No. Did I want to? Yes, very much so. If there is one thing I hate the most in this world, other than the color pink was when I tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, no one, not even friends, believe me.

"Kay, get back here!" Sesshomaru ordered. I turned around, bearing my fangs as I dug my claws in my hand. Damn I was pissed. He will let me get halfway to my destination, then call me back. I sat down next to him and dared not look him in the eyes; afraid I would set him ablaze. I felt his hand press against my forehead. I have never felt such an urge to gnaw someone's hand off like I did at this moment.

"You're really hot." He said, pulling his hand away. I couldn't resist.

"I know I'm really good-looking and all, but what's my diagnosis doc?" I asked miserably.

"You're sick, you should be in bed, not out here and accusing me of being gay."

"Sorry, but I saw you making out with a guy, so what am I to suspect?"

"The fact was that I really wasn't."

"Ok, sorry. I was seeing things!"

"I know, which is why I'm not mad at you. Calm down." He replied softly. God, if he were this nice all the time, I wouldn't be half the annoying ass I am all the time. I couldn't help but to lean against him. I was tired as Hell and cold as balls. No joke. I would've thrown up on him had I eaten more earlier.

AN- I didn't want it to be very funny. I couldn't make it funny because I had homework in all of my classes today on the FIRST DAY! What the fuck is that? Plus, we have a new dickhead of a principal and he's made these gay ass rules for cell phones. If you walk in before school starts while on your cell phone, they will take it away and our parents have to pick it up. That's retarded.

Anyway, I was looking at my schedule and thought, "What in the Hell was I on while signing up for classes? Why did I think I could pay attention to my teachers?"

I have the attention span equal to that of a two-year-old child. So, yeah, I'm pissed and wasn't in the mood for comedy. Sorry folks.


	19. Chapter 19

So…You Had A Bad Day? Here, Let Me Fuck It up More

AN- If you've noticed that my writings have been getting angrier, well, blame it on education. Goddamn teachers.

They made a new dress code. We aren't allowed to wear zip up hoodies. What in the fuck kind of rule is that? That is retarded; we can wear sweatshirts, but not ones that zip up? Man, shut up. That's so dumb. I live off of my AC/DC jacket in the winter.

Three days since Lord Aki and his family had arrived at the summer palace. They were having dinner early; Kay hadn't eaten in days, not really wanting food. She scowled as she looked around the table. The twin girls of Aki, Akiko and Akimi, who had red hair in a bun and light blue eyes, along with a single pink stripe on their cheeks. They looked just like their mother, pink clothing and all. Pink. Damn, did that color piss Kay off beyond any reasoning. It was like that teacher who never shuts up about their life story when you want the homework assignment for you to get done instead, or ugly televangelists on TV selling the most useless things on the planet.

Don't even get her started on the son, Akira, who Kay knew 100 percent sure that he was gay. Even his name sounded gay. She saw him stare lustfully for the longest time at Sesshomaru when he wasn't looking. Kay began to think her hallucination the other night was real. She didn't have a problem with gay people, she loved gay guys, Kay thinks they're awesome, but when they are incomprehensibly arrogant and just a straight up asshole, that's when she stops respecting that one gay guy.

"Kay, is everything alright?" Kimi asking, noticing Kay's unusual silence. Kay looked at her and tried to smile, but she wasn't even able to open her mouth all the way.

"Fine." She mumbled, knowing Inutaisho would jump on her case and try to push her to tell what's wrong.

"No, come on Kay, we all know there's something wrong." Inutaisho said calmly.

"Not that we care." Akira added. Kay shot him the dirtiest look she could muster. He smiled at her.

"Fuck off, you dumb ass transvestite." She growled. Akira looked back at her with his fierce, green eyes and smirked.

"Do I annoy you?" he asked gaily. Kay's eye twitched. She thought about making him spontaneously combust, but then, Inutaisho would know it was she who did it, so Kay decided not to.

"Akira, be careful what you say to her, she's more than she looks." Inutaisho chuckled, meaning it as a joke. But Sesshomaru knew too well that Kay could easily kill everyone in the room with just one angry outburst. Whether it is with fire or overwhelming demonic power from Toukai, she could do it without a doubt.

"Kay, are you hungry?" Sesshomaru asked, noticing she hadn't touched her food.

"No." she said, her stare darkening at the wall, causing the torch to flare up. Kimi and Sesshomaru glanced at one another worriedly, but Inutaisho just ignored Kay's anger, thinking it was hormones.

"I'm done." Kay barked, getting up and striding out of the room as fast as possible, knowing she would burst into flames if she didn't vent. She crawled out of a window and thrust her hand towards the sky while yelling/exhaling. A huge flame, even by Kay's standards, which are legendary, rocketed into the blue sky, still visible five minutes after it being shot.

_'Daaaaaaaaaamn. You must be pissed.' _Toukai said to his granddaughter, who really wasn't in the mood for mind games.

"No, you've seen me pissed, this is way, way, beyond pissed. This is like…mega ultra super pissed."

"Alright. What's wrong?"

"Why are you still talking? Leave me alone."

"Don't talk to me like that. I have done nothing." Sesshomaru growled, walking in front of Kay. She stared up at him, grinding her teeth.

"Well, I wasn't talking to you." Kay said back, feeling less angry.

"Whom were you talking to then?" he asked back, circling Kay as if he were about to pounce.

"Uhhhh…not you?" Kay said, feeling uneasy about the situation. Sesshomaru's brow furrowed. Who were she talking to if not he?

"Kay, no one else is around, if not me, whom were you talking to?" Sesshomaru asked, continuing his circling around his prey. Kay frowned and shifted her weight around on her legs.

"Myself?" she answered, wondering if he would buy it. Sesshomaru persisted on staring at Kay, knowing she would tell the truth eventually, but she didn't budge, meaning she had something valuable to hide. The dog demon sighed and decided not to press the issue. He turned around to walk back and was stopped by a tug on his sleeve. Sesshomaru looked down and huffed as he saw tears streaming down her tanned face.

"What?" he asked, trying not to be so compassionate.

"Akira is annoying me so much! Why can't I do anything to the damn he/she?" Kay spat, surprising Sesshomaru. He was expecting her to cry, but instead she became furious.

"You can do anything you want to him…just don't get caught." Sesshomaru replied coolly, walking back inside. Kay stood outside and thought for a minute. Do anything she wanted just don't get caught.

"Did he just _give_ me permission to do what I want? I must be in the Twilight Zone…I like it." Kay said evilly, thinking her first plan through.

Kay's Evil Plan Number One: Make your status and power known to everyone.

Later on in the day, Kay walked out onto the beach where everyone was having a great time…at least, that's what he or she wanted other people to believe. Kay snorted, it reminded her of Thanksgiving when all of her relatives got together and talked about how their lives were ten times better than hers.

"Sesshomaru, why can't you be more sociable?" Inutaisho asked, motioning for his son to talk to Akira.

"I don't make a habit of teasing gay men by talking to them." Sesshomaru said back, noticing Kay's appearance. Inutaisho growled at him.

"This is a very important meeting with the Northern Lord. I need you to,"

"Shut the fuck up, if he doesn't want to talk to gay guys then he won't!" Kay shouted, knowing very well she would make it out alive. Inutaisho glared at her.

"Akira is not gay." Inutaisho stated falsely.

"Either you're in some huge denial that I've never heard of or you're really retarded." Kay retorted with a smile. Inutaisho gave her a warning growl.

"Kay, at least speak like you have some respect."

"I don't have any respect for anyone, not even myself. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and especially, not fuck you." Kay said, ending with Akira who frowned at her.

"You're so mean to me." He moaned.

"Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." Kay said back, looking around for her shield that she surfs with. She found it gleaming in the sand and ran over to it, pulling it out. She walked over to Akira, called his name so he would turn his hand and slammed the shield into his face as hard as she could.

"Ahhhhhhh! You little half-breed!" he roared, rolling in the sand. Inutaisho jumped up before anyone else could.

"Kay! Why did you just hit him with that shield?" Inutaisho asked, furious at her random outburst.

"Shield? What shield? This is just my hat." Kay said casually, placing the shield on her head.

"Hahahaha! Funny!" Lord Aki chuckled. Apparently…he hated his son.

"Thank you, I'm here all week." Kay chirped, looking around Inutaisho at Aki.

"Haha, Akira makes funny noises when he gets hit!" Akiko and Akimi said together.

"Everyone makes funny noises when I hit them, plus, don't talk at the same time, it's creepy." Kay said, turning back to Inutaisho.

"If you do not stop, I will put you in time out!" Inutaisho yelled, making Kay smile.

"Ohhh! A time out? Let's try a knock out, sir! This isn't football, hit me!" she yelled back, knowing that once Inutaisho touched her, it was all over. Grandpa wouldn't be too happy and she could kill a few "people" and not get blamed. Sounds like a plan.

"You know I can't!" Inutaisho yelled back angrily.

"If you can't, I will!" Akira bellowed, slapping Kay. He huffed a few times and smiled, but that smile quickly disappeared as he saw Kay turn around, revealing her fully transformed face.

"Hah, nice. Let me show you how we do it in America!" Kay yelled, kicking Akira in the nuts and giving him such a powerful uppercut that he went flying into the ocean, screaming just like a girl.

"Wow, nice arm." Aki said, watching his son land in the water.

"Yeah, I learned that when I was living the thug life." Kay said, back to her normal self. Inutaisho frowned even more.

_'He comes out and then slips back in so fast…why not just stay out?' _he thought, watching the girl walk over to Sesshomaru and plop down next to him.

"I thought I told you _not_ to get caught." He whispered, still liking what she did.

"It wasn't me. It was Gramps." She retorted with a smile. Sesshomaru shook his head, but approved of her style.

Kimi and Lord Aki's wife, who has no name because the author doesn't feel like getting one, were off doing what women do… making gossip, leaving everyone else behind to do whatever.

"Man, I am so bored it's not even funny." Kay mumbled, face down on the bed. Sesshomaru lied on the other side, looking at a book he had found in her bag. He couldn't understand it, but the pictures were interesting.

"It's a good thing that I'm not laughing then." He replied, turning to the next page. It was a disturbing looking page. A place of fire with demons torturing what looked like humans.

"Kay, what is this?" Sesshomaru asked, showing her the page.

"It's Hell…how the author thinks it looks anyway." Kay said.

"What are you doing with such a book?"

"It talks about other things too. It's not just about Hell."

"I know."

"I know." Kay mocked him. Sesshomaru pushed her off the bed with his foot and continued his page flipping. Kay crawled back on the bed and sighed when she heard Lord Aki and his wife scuffling down the hallway. The door flung open, shocking Sesshomaru and Kay a bit.

"Oh…uh…can we borrow your room tonight?" Aki asked, turning bright red. Sesshomaru was a loss of words, but Kay was at the frontlines of battle.

"Is Keiko of the Black Dog Demon Pimps going to have to smack a bitch? Am I going to have to get my ass off this bed and…" she was cut off by Sesshomaru's hand.

"I suppose so. Come on Kay." Sesshomaru said, getting up and growling as he walked out.

"Don't fucking go in my closest!" Kay yelled pointing at it. The two older demons nodded obediently as the angry girl walked out. When she closed the door, they pounced on one another.

"Damn it to Hell! How many more of my nights are going to be ruined by other people having sex?" Sesshomaru barked as he walked into the kitchen. He made sure Kay was following before going to the counter.

"It must be Horny Demon Week or something! Shit!" Kay yelled, falling face first onto the floor. Sesshomaru snorted, but made sure she didn't hear him when she got up.

"Do you like chili?" Kay asked him randomly.

"Chili?"

"Yeah. You should try Kay's Really Fucking Hot Chili. That's right, Kay's Really Fucking Hot Chili is guaranteed to burn the roof of your fucking mouth or your money back. Made from the hottest jalapenos, spices and sauces. After one bite you'll be like, "Wow, that's the hottest fucking chili I've ever tasted." That's Kay's Really Fucking Hot Chili, from the makers of Goddamn Good Chowder and Ass Kicking Soup. Remember, if it's not Kay's then it's not that fucking hot."

"What was all of that about?"

"Nothing. If you ever laugh at me again I'll kick your ass."

"If you can catch me."

"Whatever. I can make you come to me." Kay said, looking up as she heard something sounding like a guitar breaking.

"…Kay?" Sesshomaru asked, seeing Kay's face instantly change again.

"They broke my goddamn guitar!" Kay yelled, getting ready to blow the ceiling up.

"Kay, it's just an object."

"Fuck that! My idol, my biggest influence, gave and signed that guitar for free!"

"It's an object."

"Damn it! You don't understand! Whatever." Kay growled while sitting on the counter after Sesshomaru sat her there.

"I understand how the person who signed it is your idol, but the instrument itself is not."

"No, but to be like my idol, I have to have something that reminds me of meeting him. Memoir type things make me happy."

"Alright. Well, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"No…but I will do something about it later." Kay mumbled, staring at the ceiling heatedly.

AN- Hahaha! Dudes and dudettes! I was so pissed when I wrote this and I was listening to "Fuck That" by Korn! Hahahaha, if that doesn't get you pissed and hyped, then nothing else would.

Sorry, next to chapters should be funny since I have the weekend off yo! If you want me to be funny all the time call my school and send in a bomb threat. XD


	20. Chapter 20

Drinking Games

The next few days were a blast…for Kay. She blasted Akira into the ocean ten more times. She had scared the twins Akimi and Akiko quite a few times by popping out of the sand and barking crazily at them like some mad dog on the loose. The two girls ran to their mother, crying and the mother didn't like the fact some random half breed dog demon was scaring and beating the living daylights out of her children, neither did Inutaisho and Kimi, but Sesshomaru was enjoying it. She kept occupied by bothering them and spent less time annoying him. Win/win situation in his opinion.

"Ass dance! Ass dance! Ass dance! Ass dance! Ass dance!" Kay shouted, shaking her ass in Akira's face. The red haired demon growled at her dangerously.

"Damn it! Get your ass out of my face!" Akira roared at Kay.

"Get your face out of my ass!" Kay screamed back, still wiggling her ass at him. Sesshomaru chuckled silently to himself as he flipped to the next page. Kay was in the middle of teaching Sesshomaru the "American English Language" until Akira walked in with his purple robe on to hit on Sesshomaru, interrupting Kay's teaching. Sesshomaru was learning quickly, he could read most of the words in the book. Some were big, obnoxious and really had no reason to be there, except to stump him.

"Grrrr, I hate big words." Sesshomaru murmured.

"You're such a little whore!" Akira yelled.

"Your mom's a whore!" Kay yelled back.

"You're a slut!"

"You're a slut too, faggot!"

"I may like men, but at least people like me!"

"I'm a people, and I don't even like your hair and red is one of my favorite colors!"

"Shut up! I came in here to talk to Sesshomaru!"

"You shut the fuck up! Sesshomaru's answer is no!"

"You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"No, but I have pretty damn good idea! God you make me want to kick a baby!"

"Sesshomaru, may I speak with you alone?" Akira asked, eye twitching with annoyance.

"I'd rather you not speak to me at all." Sesshomaru replied, setting the book down and exhaling as Kay continued her ass dance around the room. The two demons found a new room after the visiting lord and his wife messed up Sesshomaru's original room, the bad thing was that it was closer to Akira's room.

"Why not? I haven't done anything to you!" Akira whined, standing up and brushing his purple kimono off.

"Y'all want a single, say fuck that! Fuck that, fuck that! Y'all want a single, say fuck that! Boom, boom, boom, boom!" Kay sang in the background.

"Because I do not wish to talk to someone who makes Kay start talking. Also, you stare at me too much." Sesshomaru said, standing up as well, getting an awkward feeling about the situation. Akira glanced at Kay momentarily.

"Kay, leave." Akira ordered.

"Fuck that shit!" Kay said back, stopping her dancing.

"Get out…unless you want to see us make love." Akira said smugly, stopping Sesshomaru mentally. Make love? What in the hell was his deal? Did he not understand no?

"Uh…yeah…right. I want to watch. Let me go get that video camera…see ya!" Kay chirped, running out of the room.

"Kay, you will NOT leave this room!" Sesshomaru yelled angrily. Kay turned around and saw Akira tackle Sesshomaru to the ground.

"Kick his ass!" Kay shouted back, smiling at the fight. Sesshomaru pushed Akira off of him and stood up, poison claws at the ready. Akira ran back at Sesshomaru, but he was knocked through the wall with a lightning bolt. Sesshomaru looked over at Kay, who had smoke rising from her fingertips.

"He was pissing me off anyway." She retorted with a smile as Inutaisho ran into the room.

"What is going…what did you do to my palace?" he asked frantically, looking at the huge hole. Kay sighed.

"Akira knocked through it like a dumb ass. We tried to stop him but he's retarded or something." Kay said, looking at Sesshomaru.

"We?" Inutaisho asked her.

"Yes, she and I tried to stop Akira from knocking down the wall and he wouldn't listen." Sesshomaru added in quickly. Why couldn't she make up a better lie?

"Oh, well, great." Inutaisho growled as he walked out of the room. Sesshomaru sighed.

"Come on, Kay. Let's go find a new room. We have plenty." He said, walking out.

"But all the best ones are taken…or are missing a wall!" Kay whined.

"Then stop blowing things up."

Later on, Sesshomaru and Kay were out on the beach, enjoying the cool breeze. Kay, of course, is never quiet.

"Hahaha! Dude, he tackled your ass to the floor and I knocked him out like the straight up gansta I am, yo!" she said, tumbling backwards in the sand and throwing up her gang sign.

"I could've handled him without your interference." Sesshomaru growled.

"Before or after he raped you?"

"You are impossible."

"Because I'm GGGGGGGGG G-Unit! Ahhh!" Kay yelled while screaming at Sesshomaru.

"GGGGGGGGG get away from me!" Sesshomaru barked, pushing her down. Kay stood back up and scowled.

"GGGGGGGG make me!" she said, shaking her ass at him.

"Why you little,"

"Ruh Roh!" Kay yelped, running away as Sesshomaru chased her. Kay knew she was no match for him when it came to speed. She saw his hand fly out and grab her sleeve, so Kay lost her shirt and rocketed herself in the air, landing away from Sesshomaru.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt anyway!" Kay yelled to him. Sesshomaru dropped her shirt and ran off after her.

After a while, the two became tired of running. They were even too tired to insult one another, which is a stretch. Inutaisho walked out and saw the two in a crawling race to get to the palace first. The demon lord sighed and walked out.

"Lord Aki and his family have left." Inutaisho said. The two tired demons were now on their feet with happiness.

"Hell yeah!" Kay cheered. Sesshomaru refrained from showing too much delight, though he would've said what Kay had said.

"Also, because Lord Aki liked Kay's spirit so much, we are now allies forever. The North and the West are forever allies. Isn't that great?" Inutaisho asked excitedly.

"Dude, don't do that. You sound like a little girl." Kay said, forgetting her own celebration. Inutaisho glared at her.

"You are the most disrespectful child I've ever met." He growled.

"Thank you."

"It wasn't meant as a compliment."

"It was taken as one."

"I can never win! Why?" Inutaisho asked his son, who shrugged in response. Kay giggled at his distress and hugged him around the waist.

"You'll win eventually." She said to him. Inutaisho pat her head and chuckled.

"You're lying."

"So?"

"Alright, it's getting late. Let's go." Inutaisho said, letting the two other demons in first. Sesshomaru yawned as he treaded down to his third room. He walked in and took off his shirt, falling onto the bed and stretching out.

"Hm? Kay?" he called out, noticing she didn't come with him. He opened his door and looked down the hallway. No one was there. Sesshomaru walked into the living room and found Kay looking around.

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked, remembering he was shirtless. Kay looked at him and sighed.

"I'm not tired and the sun isn't even down yet." She whined. Sesshomaru rubbed his head and walked to a door, motioning for Kay to follow. Kay cocked her head in curiosity and followed him into the room. He led her down a flight of stairs and entered another room with yet another door.

"Oh my God! What is with you people and doors?" Kay asked, cracking her neck.

"I'm sure you will like what's behind the door."

"Huh?"

"Go ahead, open it."

"Ok." Kay said, opening the door and wanting to fall to her knees in tears.

"Dude…this is the ultimate party pad…why is it not crowded with people, drugs and alcohol?" Kay said slowly, marveling at the giant hot tub.

"I thought you would like it. I do." Sesshomaru said, walking down the few stairs and stepping onto the tiled floor and walking over to the corner of the room.

"Sesshomaru, this is every rock star's dream!" Kay exclaimed.

"To have a heated pool?" he asked from behind the changing curtains.

"To have a ridiculously huge ass heated pool! Filled with the gender of their choosing!"

"I prefer the pool to not be crowded."

"I don't know. I like an audience."

"To do what?" Sesshomaru asked, sticking his head out from the curtains to make sure she wasn't going to light him on fire or anything crazy such as that. Kay took off her shirt and left her bra and pants on.

"To do tricks and what not." Kay said, doing a double front flip into the pool. Sesshomaru walked out and revealed that he wore shorts in the pool. He took a more casual approach to the heated pool though, instead of flipping like an idiot into the pool, he slipped in the water majestically. Kay only had her eyes out of the water, giving Sesshomaru a look that said, "Loosen up. You're not impressing anyone."

"Do you know why I brought you here?" Sesshomaru asked, sitting on a stair, leaving the top part of his torso out of the water.

"To relax me." Kay said, standing so the water was at her stomach.

"Well, you're not as stupid as I thought."

"You're as stupid as I thought." Kay retorted, dousing a flame in her hand with water.

"Times like this, I really would like to strangle you." Sesshomaru said with no inflexions in his voice.

"Whatever. You make me want to curb stomp an infant."

"What's a curb stomp?"

"Bring your stupid ass over here and find out."

"No thanks."

"That's what I thought. I'm a straight up thug." Kay said, floating on her back. A maid brought in some refreshments and bowed as she walked out.

"Oooh! Read my mind! I'm thirsty!" Kay said, crawling out of the water.

"Oh, no you don't." Sesshomaru said, pulling her back.

"What the hell? Why not?"

"I don't find it appropriate for a child to be drinking alcohol." Sesshomaru said, pouring some into a small cup and sipping it.

"Then why are there five damn cups?"

"For my amusement."

"You suck big hairy balls! Come on, one drink!"

"No."

"A sip?"

"No."

"A taste?"

"…No." Sesshomaru said, taking another drink. Kay sizzled but then she got a brilliant idea.

"Want to play a game?" Kay asked.

"Sure."

"Here's how it goes. You swim from one end of the pool. You get out, take five shots without using your hands, spin around three times, jump back in and swim back. If you can do it in under two minutes, I won't ask for a drink, but if you can't do it in three minutes, I get one drink."

"Sounds fair." Sesshomaru said, walking to one end and leaving Kay on the other. Kay poured the potent drink in all five cups and pulled the table to the end of the pool, placing the cups down in a line.

_'Heh, two minutes. Easy, I could do this five times in two minutes.' _Sesshomaru thought, waiting for Kay to say, "Go."

_'Hahaha, he doesn't have a snowball's chance in Hell to win this.' _Kay thought evilly.

"Go." Kay said as Sesshomaru dove into the water. He swam down the long pool, taking only a few seconds. He jumped out and ran up to the table, cupping his hands behind his back, he bent over, picked the cups up with his mouth and drank the beverage. He was already feeling the affects of his two previous shots and shook them off, going down the line of drinks. He finished the last one and Kay came around the table.

"Ok, spin three times!" Kay said. Sesshomaru spun around three times and when he stopped…he knew he was fucked. The drunken dog demon couldn't even find the pool, let alone swim back.

"Over here, dumb ass!" Kay shouted, pointing to the blue blur.

"Right." Sesshomaru murmured, stumbling sideways, trying to go straight, but he fell over, clenching his head in pain.

"Three…two…one…I get my drink." Kay said, walking over to the table and pouring one in the small cup. She sipped it first to taste it and frowned.

"Ugh, that's disgusting. Oh well." Kay said drinking the rest. She looked over at Sesshomaru, who was moaning while rolling back and forth slowly.

"Told you." She mumbled, walking over to the pained demon dog.

"Kay…don't everrrrr d…ddrink." Sesshomaru mumbled with slurred inflexions.

"I'll take it from a pro." Kay said, rubbing his back.

"Promise me." He said.

"I promise I won't ever drink…again." Kay said, remembering her shot a few seconds earlier.

"Good. Let's go…somewhere, where are we?" Sesshomaru asked, standing up.

"Don't worry about it. Let's go, I'm tired of dealing with your dumb ass." Kay said, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs.

"Sssorry that I'm dumb." He said as Kay tried to pull him up the stairs.

"Dude! If you're so sorry, then get your fat ass up and walk God damn it!" Kay yelled angrily.

"You're so funny! Hahahaha!" the drunken dog demon yelled, laughing instead of walking up the stairs. The only thing between his fall is Kay holding him.

"Oh my God! You're so fucking retarded! Stand up!" Kay yelled, losing her grip on the wet, drunk demon.

"Kay…you're my…whoa…best friend. I love…you, give me…a hug." Sesshomaru moaned, reaching his arms around Kay.

"I'm going to drop your fat ass down these stairs! Get the Hell off of me! Stupid ass!" Kay whined, realizing she was wet and shirtless as well. If anyone would see this, it would be wrong on so many different levels.

"Out of all the varieties of drunks, I get the retarded handicapped one!" Kay mumbled as she pulled the giggling Sesshomaru up the stairs. She found the door and opened it…face to face with Inutaisho and Kimi.

"Hahahaha! Mommy! Look at me, I'm flying!" Sesshomaru yelled happily. Kay looked down at her situation and back up at the demon lord and his wife.

"Uhhhhh…I can explain?" Kay said fearfully.

"There is no need to. Here, let me get him up." Inutaisho said, pulling his son to his feet and helping him down the hallway.

"I can't believe he got drunk while watching you." Kimi said, scratching her shoulder.

"It was kind of my fault so…yeah…I'm tired." Kay said, walking down the hallway.

"Good night." Kimi said, giggling when Kay was out of hearing range. Kay walked into the room where Inutaisho was trying to put Sesshomaru on the bed.

"Don't beat me up, Dad, don't beat me up! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to call you a pussy! Don't beat me up!" Sesshomaru pleaded.

"Damn it Sesshomaru, I'm not trying to beat you up! I'm trying to help you! Kay grab the blanket, when I get him down, you cover him up, alright?"

"Yeah whatever." Kay mumbled, grabbing the blanket.

"Don't beat me up!" Sesshomaru wailed as Inutaisho overpowered him and flipped him onto the bed. Kay covered Sesshomaru up, almost wanting to laugh.

"Don't beat me up, Kay! I thought we were BFF's! Please don't beat me up! I'm sorry!"

"I'm not going to beat you up, dude. Shut the fuck up." Kay grumbled, crawling on the other side.

"Good night." Inutaisho said, walking out.

"Whatever smart ass." Kay said.

"Kay!" Sesshomaru whispered.

"What?" Kay snapped.

"You're my best friend!"

"Ok, shut the hell up!" Kay roared, getting ready for another sleepless night.

AN- I based this off of when my cousin got wasted and kept saying to everyone, "Don't beat me up! I'm sorry!" Oh, so priceless.


	21. Chapter 21

This Is How She Is

AN- I'm running low on energy and comedy, but I think I pull another chapter or two out of my ass, so, here we go.

Sesshomaru groaned as the light shone through the windows and onto his eyelids. He had the blanket pulled up to his nose, but not far enough to block out any potential light. He felt worse than usual…damn hangovers. It was all Kay's fault for making up a game…of course, it was his fault as well for playing along and being arrogant, thinking 7 shots of the most potent alcohol in the house wasn't going to do much to him. He was wrong.

"…Mmmm…Grrrrr…Where the Hell am I?" Sesshomaru asked, cursing himself for thinking too much.

"Where do you think?" Kay answered grumpily, annoyed by him being awake already.

"Time to get up." Sesshomaru said, sitting up.

"Oh boy, oh boy." Kay answered sarcastically, sitting up and glaring at Sesshomaru's magnificent, flawless, long hair. Kay scratched her own, slightly past her shoulders, messy black hair and groaned.

"Come on, hurry up." Sesshomaru urged, not wanting to get up either.

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Kay whined.

"What's your deal?"

"I haven't had a good night's sleep in 4 days and most of it is your fault! Let me sleep!"

"I will…tonight."

"Why not now?"

"You said, "Good night's sleep." It's now morning. Get up."

"Damn you and your technicalities!" Kay roared, getting up and out of bed.

"Stop using words bigger than you are."

"You're just jealous that my penis is bigger than yours." Kay grumbled, following him out of the room and down the hallway, more stairs, and into the living room, which was filled with what they hated most…light.

"God damn." Kay said, blocking her eyes with her sleeve. Sesshomaru just avoided looking directly into the light. It bothered him, but it didn't hurt as much.

"Gooooooood mooooooooorniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" Kimi sang loudly as she greeted the two demons. Kay growled and Sesshomaru's eyes flashed red. His mother knew very well he was hung over. Kimi smiled sweetly at her son, and then quickly tapped his aching head a few times.

"That wasn't necessary." Sesshomaru growled grumpily.

"Don't drink so much next time." she said back, looking down at Kay.

"Awwwwwww! You look soooooooo sick!" Kimi said, bending down.

"Stooooooooop dragging your words oooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt!" Kay replied angrily, holding her own aching head. Kimi apologized and stood up.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Kids!" Inutaisho yelled with his deep voice.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kay barked, closing her eyes. Sesshomaru's eyes were also closed tightly, trying to find his happy place.

"Inu, they're not feeling well, be more quiet." Kimi said.

"Kay is never quiet when I want her to be, why should I be any different?" Inutaisho stated.

"Because you're an adult, act like one." Kimi said back. She looked down and saw Kay walking back upstairs to go back to bed. Hell, Sesshomaru can deal with them; she'll sleep her headache off.

Kay crawled back into bed, placing the pillow over her head and quickly falling back asleep…she thought.

"You know, if you continue not to sleep, your demon blood will eventually get the better of you." Toukai warned, his tails slowly flicking behind his resting figure.

"Why won't you just let me sleep?" Kay moaned.

"You are asleep…physically."

"I need mental."

"You need help."

"That too."

"So, how have you been? You never really talk to me."

"You know exactly how I've been."

"Horrible."

"Right."

"Just like I told you not to be. They are being nice, you owe good behavior to them."

"I owe nothing to anyone."

"You owe your life to Sesshomaru. He could've easily killed you or let you be killed and he decided not to."

"Luck. Pure luck."

"Really?"

"Yes sir, pure luck."

"Whatever."

"What the fuck ever."

"You really need to stop cussing. Anyway, I have to tell you something."

"Say it, I want to sleep…mentally."

"Do you have any clue about how to get back home?"

"No."

"That could be a potential problem. If you can get back home and escape to your Aunt Rose, she would protect you against your dad."

"Uh…ok."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You like him, don't you?"

"Friend."

"I know…but that is a stage of liking him, right?"

"Gramps, please, not now."

"I'm just teasing you."

"So, how am I supposed to time travel? I don't exactly have a machine or anything."

"Well…again a potential problem. I have no clue how your dad did it. My way is different, secret and only I know how to do it. He must have found another way."

"That's great, will you leave me alone now?"

"Damn, why can't you be nicer?"

"Because I'm tired and I don't feel good!"

"Ok, ok, ok, don't eat me! Go to sleep!" Toukai growled impatiently. He watched as his granddaughter disappeared to explore her own subconscious.

Out on the beach, Sesshomaru was slowly treading down the beach with Inutaisho. His father had an unusual disposition about him.

"Sesshomaru, that girl worries me." Inutaisho said, finally looking up from his thoughts. Sesshomaru groaned. He didn't care.

"She's young, she'll get better when she's older." Sesshomaru said back.

"Do you plan on seeing her when she's older?"

"What? No. Hell no. Once she's gone, I want her gone forever." Sesshomaru said quickly.

"Yes, she is very unpleasant…but funny too."

"Odd combination. You want to be around someone funny, but not someone disrespectful. She fits both categories."

"Yes. So, honestly, you don't want to see her when she's older?" Inutaisho asked. Sesshomaru could tell what his father wanted him to say.

"No."

"Well, I do. I think she will be one hot chick, no puns intended." Inutaisho continued, smirking evilly.

"You're lucky Mother can't hear you."

"I never said your mother wasn't beautiful."

"No, but you think Kay will be hot? That's an insult to beauty."

"Once you get laid by a beautiful woman, you will be in love. Then you get laid by a hot chick, everything changes."

"You really need a hobby."

"I have one, banging hot chicks. You, my son, need a hobby."

"I have one, babysitting your future hot chick."

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

"Nothing, I have a hangover."

"Oh, get laid by a hot chick, you won't feel as bad."

"Shut up. You're awful."

"Hahaha, I know. But your daddy's still got it with the ladies."

"Oh joy."

"I can't ever have a manly conversation with you, can I?"

"No."

"You're boring."

"Thank you." Sesshomaru growled. Why was his father such a womanizer? Why didn't his mother just leave him? Why did he even care?

"Anyway, Kay is just a child and I am forced to forgive her…until she's older. When she's older and she's being naughty, just send her to my room and I'll do the rest." Inutaisho said, popping his collar.

"Ugh…you're a pig." Sesshomaru growled, the though of his father and Kay? Disgusting.

"I'm joking." Inutaisho said, shaking his head at his son's dryness. Sesshomaru groaned. How could anyone be so horny at random times? Even if it was a joke, she's just a child.

Meanwhile, Kay searched her mind for anything fun, interesting…fun. She groaned and found a random door.

"What in the HELL is this doing here?" Kay asked, checking it out before opening it. Kay walked in and saw a modern-day room with rock band posters everywhere. AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, every band Kay liked was on the wall. Of course, it was her mind.

"Duuuuuuuude…The Priest." Kay said, examining the Judas Priest poster. Kay freaked when she heard a voice.

"Yeah, whatever! I'll get right on it!" a girl said, slamming the door.

"Stupid bitch." She moaned as she sat on her bed. Black blankets with flames. Nice. Apparently, the girl couldn't see Kay. Kay frowned as the girl grabbed her electric, Mick Mars signed stratocaster guitar and started strumming notes.

"Hm…she seems tight. Who is she?" Kay said, looking closer at the girl. She looked about 18, not much older than that. Her skin was tanned and her hair was black and styled like Nikki Sixx's hair. Semi-long, to the shoulders and gelled so it would spike out a bit.

"Oh wow, I like her." Kay said, admiring her outfit. Black shirt with Pantera in red lettering, studded wristbands, studded belt, black jeans with a chain, combat boots, everything Kay wanted to look like. A knock on the door.

"I'm not here!" the girl called.

"You know, Kay, you can be such a bitch!" another, older girl yelled, opening the door.

"Huh? Kay? But that's…me?" Kay said, examining her older self closer. Fierce golden eyes, crazy sort of spiked hair, everything.

"I can be a bitch? Let me show you how much of a _bitch_ I can be." Older Kay growled, pushing the girl backwards and slamming her door closed, locking it. The woman who got pushed out began pounding on the door.

"Kay! Damn it! Get your ass out here now!" the woman yelled, pounding the door more. Older Kay began strumming loud, heavy metal riffs on her guitar.

"Knock louder! I can't hear you over my guitar!" Kay screamed, smiling evilly. Younger Kay watched with much interest in the fight.

"Yeah…this is you." Toukai mumbled, in his humanoid form. He had short black hair, two crimson red stripes, ferocious golden eyes, and a big smile. He had a black T-shirt on with jeans.

"Hey Gramps." Young Kay said as her older self began banging her head to the music she began playing.

"Kay! I swear, when I get in there, I'm going to beat your ASS!" the woman screamed angrily.

"Hahaha! Dude, I should get you to do some vocals in my band! That scream was bad ASS!" Old Kay yelled back, imitating the pounding woman's fury.

"Do you see how awful you are?" Toukai asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah…I am going to be kick ass!" Young Kay cheered.

"Child of Satan." Toukai mumbled under his breath as the elder Kay opened the door and slammed it in the woman's face, locking it once more. Younger Kay yawned and walked out of the door and back into her mind, along with Toukai.

"Well, whatever you plan on doing in life, just don't blow Earth up or something, ok?" he asked with a whine.

"Um…ok." Kay said, waking up from her sleep. Kay yawned and crawled out of bed. She walked down the stairs and out onto the beach, enjoying the nice breeze. She hid behind a huge sand dune when she saw Sesshomaru and Inutaisho walking by.

"I'm serious, Kay will be hot and you will want a piece of ass." Inutaisho said.

"Father, you really need to stop. I will never like Kay as a lover…ever."

"Never say never."

"I just did."

"Well if you don't want her, I'll gladly take her."

"And do what, might I ask?" Kay said with her arms crossed and smiling evilly. Inutaisho's face turned an interesting color of red as he tried to get out of this pile of shit.

"Damn child. Popping up everywhere." Inutaisho growled to Sesshomaru.

"My father thinks that one day you will be hot and he wants to have sex with you." Sesshomaru said smugly. Kay's smile disappeared.

"You need help." Kay said to Inutaisho as she ran off.

"You really do." Sesshomaru added, following the young girl to watch her surf.

AN- A little sneak peak into what Kay will be like in the sequel. I just thought you Kay worshippers would like that. Anyway, someone else said, "How would you describe Kay when she's older?" Well, go listen to "Just Lose It" by Eminem. That should pretty much sum it up.


	22. Chapter 22

Prank Wars

AN- Another sweet memory from my cousins. (Same ones that got wasted.) XD Except, I'm basing this chapter off of two weeks of Hell I unleashed upon my sweet dear cousins.

It all started with a simple struggle between the forces of good and evil…wait, too far back. Sorry.

It all started with this simple, but insulting statement. "Men are better than women." Sesshomaru had the balls to say that in front of his mother, Kimi, and his worst nightmare, Kay. Inutaisho had the balls to agree with his son, so, Kimi and Kay grew some balls of their own, and decided to demand a contest to see who was really better, Men or Women…this is their story.

Sesshomaru and Inutaisho had already gotten Kay and Kimi with the simple, "Blow Up Bag" technique. Just get a sack, placed it somewhere where the wind will blow hard and it makes the bag expand quickly, scaring anyone passing by shitless, cough, Kimi, cough. Kay was off doing her own idea. She put a gay servant in Sesshomaru's room naked. Hahaha, you get the rest.

Inutaisho and Sesshomaru walked into the poolroom. Instantly, a blow up bag blocked the dog demons' entrance. Inutaisho smiled.

"Hey girls! Where's your originality, huh?" Inutaisho called out. Just as he finished the sentence, the bag blew up, covering the two MEN in disgusting brown stuff.

"…This means war." Sesshomaru growled, grimacing as the gunk fell off his face. Inutaisho sniffed his sleeve.

"Hey this is shit! It's shit! Get it off me, Sesshomaru! Get off! It's shit! It's shit! It's payback time you little…SHIT!" Inutaisho roared as he hurried upstairs to the bath. Sesshomaru stared down at himself and growled.

"Disgusting." He growled, walking upstairs to find another bath. Kimi and Kay bumped fists in the background.

Later that day, Kay and Kimi were serving lunch. Sesshomaru and Inutaisho sat at the table, arms crossed and knowing the food was contaminated. Kay walked in with a serving platter.

"Ew, something smells like shit." She commented, pulling a bowl off the plate and offering it to Sesshomaru. He took it and waited for her to her own bowl down. When she did, he quickly swapped the bowls. Inutaisho did the same with his and Kimi's.

"Thanks girls, at least you're good for something." Inutaisho chuckled as Sesshomaru smirked. Kay and Kimi glared, but they dug in anyway. The two male dog demons dug in as well, feeling confident, only to feel the need to go to the bathroom soon after. Sesshomaru and Inutaisho glanced at each other worriedly, and then back at the girls, who were smiling evilly at them.

"Oh…oh no." Inutaisho mumbled.

"You wanted us to swap bowls…damn." Sesshomaru growled, getting up and running to the bathroom before his father got there. Inutaisho danced outside the bathroom door, almost on the verge of crying.

"Hurryyyyyyy uuuuuuuuuuuup!" he wailed, holding his ass and prancing around in a circle like a little girl.

"It won't stop!" Sesshomaru roared back. Kimi and Kay stood down the hallway, laughing their asses O-F-F. Kay was holding her stomach as she was bent over forward, tears falling from her red face. Kimi forgot her calm disposition and was on the floor, laughing like she had never laughed before. This was her idea so she was enjoying it thoroughly.

"I hate you booooooooooooooth!" Inutaisho cried, jumping out the window to find a place in the trees to go.

A few more hours later, after Sesshomaru and Inutaisho shat out whatever had been in their stomachs and more, the two sat on the beach, devising an evil plan to catch up with the leading ladies.

"No, Kay will never fall for it. I hate to say it, but she's extremely smart." Sesshomaru said, shooting yet another plan down.

"Damn. Maybe they are better." Inutaisho mumbled.

"I refuse to announce them as my betters. I would sooner slit my guts out with a rusty blade."

"True. So…shit!" Inutaisho yelled, tackling his son down as a huge flame sped past them. Sesshomaru pushed his father off of him and stood up, looking at the approaching woman and girl. Inutaisho got up as well and was growling.

"That's not right! You could've killed us!" he barked angrily at Kay.

"Oopsie. I'll remember that when I'm pissing on your grave." She retorted as she shot three more at them. The two demons jumped in the air, only to be brought down by the transformed Kimi. She pinned them to the ground and knocked them unconscious.

……………………………………………………………..

Sesshomaru woke up freezing. He realized he had no shirt, no pants, nothing on. He groaned as he lifted his head, checking out what was going on. He was on the beach. He was on his knees on the beach. Weird enough, his wrists were tied to a pole that had recently been put there. He felt warm skin on his back. Sesshomaru sniffed and turned his head. There was his father, arms chained around his son's waist. He was naked too.

"What the Hell? Father! Wake up!" Sesshomaru barked frantically. Inutaisho moaned and smiled in his sleep, licking his lips.

"You liked it." He murmured.

"FATHER!" Sesshomaru roared. Inutaisho's eyes shot open.

"What? Where? Why?" he asked, finally realizing his predicament.

"Would you explain to me why you're naked _and_ behind me?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I can't, I uh…I don't know." Inutaisho admitted, trying to pull his arms away from Sesshomaru, but he was unsuccessful.

"Well now, isn't this pissy?" Inutaisho growled.

"Hey boys!" Kimi cheered, walking up to them.

"Kimi! What the Hell did you do to us?" Inutaisho barked angrily.

"Me? I didn't do anything." She replied innocently. Kay popped out from behind her, waving mischievously.

"You! Why you little bitch?" Sesshomaru roared, trying to move from his position. Inutaisho tried to move as well, but it made it look like ass rape 101, so Kimi and Kay only laughed harder as they shouted threats and insults.

"YOU WILL SWING FOR THIS, KAY! I SHIT YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" Sesshomaru bellowed furiously as his inner beast began to take over, but Inutaisho told him to relax.

"Well, I don't know about you, Kimi, but…they look pretty God damn sweet to me. Hahaha!" Kay cooed mockingly.

"Hahahaha! I agree!" Kimi giggled. Inutaisho and Sesshomaru began pulling on their restraints and trying to move, but they were purified, compliments of Kay, making them strong restraints. The two girls laughed harder as Inutaisho tried to pull his arms off his son's waist.

"Ahhh! Get your face out of my ass! You stupid pig! Stop moving!" Sesshomaru yelled as his father tried harder and harder to get loose.

"Well if you would stop being such a baby and let me do thing, it wouldn't hurt so much!"

"It doesn't hurt it's just weird! Stop it! STOP!" Sesshomaru barked, trying to keep his father's hands still.

…………………………………………………………

A few days later, two guards were making their round trip around the castle. They trudged out into the sand, seeing something…weird. The guards stopped, frozen in their tracks as they realized it was their master and his son…sleeping…on each other…naked. Sesshomaru sensed the guards and looked up.

"Hm? Guards! Give me a hand!" Sesshomaru begged, pulling on his restraints.

"Uh, no offense sir, but uh, I'm not into _that_ kind of stuff." The guard said, pointing to Inutaisho.

"Huh? Oh, no! It's not what it looks like! I swear!" Sesshomaru begged. Inutaisho woke up and licked his lips.

"Oooh, you're freezing." Inutaisho said to his son, nuzzling his head on his back.

"Damn it! Tell the guards to release us, you stupid idiot!" Sesshomaru growled. Inutaisho saw them and smiled sheepishly.

"It's…not what it looks like?" he said, face reddening.

"Riiiiight." The guards replied simultaneously.

"Damn it! Get these restraints off or I will kill you!" Inutaisho roared angrily. The guards walked over and untied the restraints slowly. They backed off and ran away before Sesshomaru could get to them.

"All right Son, let's go teach those bitches whose boss." Inutaisho stated as he got his clothes on.

"Right." Sesshomaru growled, tired of "quality" time with his father.

AN- Hahahaha! Sorry, I just remembered with my Prank War with my cousins that another one of my "teammates" tied my cousins together like that, but not naked. Tell me what you think, yo!


	23. Chapter 23

I'm Not Your Boy Toy, Baby

AN- Hahaha, title really has nothing to do with anything. I just heard a song that said that and I started laughing so hard.

Sesshomaru sighed with relief as he enjoyed his warm bath. His parents decided to occupy Kay so he could have some alone time. Kay just snorted at this comment.

"How would you like it if I stuffed you under the bed while I fucked my wife?" Inutaisho hollered at Kay, who was making crude remarks.

"How would you like an ass full of foot?" Kay hollered back, standing up.

"I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Bring it on, old man! Bring it ON!"

"I AM NOT OLD!"

"BULLSHIT!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Inutaisho screamed loudly as he remembered he couldn't lay a hand on her. Kay rolled on the floor as she cried with laughter. Sesshomaru grinned as he stepped out of the tub and dried off with his towel. He knew better than to smile because he would have to deal with her soon. Sesshomaru slowly walked to his room, listening in on his father and Kay's conversation.

"Why are you so evil?" Inutaisho asked her exasperatingly.

"If you would've just left me alone I never would've said anything." Kay said back. Sesshomaru nodded. It was true…to an extent. The dog demon prince entered his room and dressed in his usual white clothing with his fluff over his shoulder. He walked down the stairs and frowned as he saw Kay fidgeting in her meditation. Sesshomaru bent down and poked her.

"What, Fluffy?" she asked bitterly.

"Don't mind my father, he can't stand losing to anyone." Sesshomaru said, patting her head gently.

"Whatever." Kay mumbled as she stood up and walked outside. Sesshomaru sat down in the living room when he realized his mother was outside with some maids, planting flowers in the garden. Kay walked past them to the beach and braced herself in the sand. Kay looked straight up and opened her mouth, letting out a feral roar of frustration with flames shooting out of her mouth. She then began firing flames at the sky, letting her anger get the better of her and before she knew it, the flames turned from a mixture of reds, oranges and yellows, to and bluish white color.

_'Oooh, the cold blooded fire at such a young age, very frightening.' _Toukai growled with interest. Kay huffed as she suppressed his powers, demon markings disappearing from her face. She gritted her teeth and began firing more flames, using different stances. She did a roundhouse kick and sent out a small but forceful flame. Sesshomaru walked outside and sat down to make sure she wouldn't kill anyone, but he was enjoying the show.

"Damn…I still have…way…to much…energy!" Kay huffed. She was out of breath but she still had plenty of firepower, which bothered her. Her stamina was unequal with her power. She was out of breath, but still could show even the greatest fire bender up. Bothersome.

"I have to train to gain more stamina then. I hate being unequal." Kay said, catching her breath. She inhaled and exhaled while thrusting her hands to the sky five times in a row, each releasing a big flame into the atmosphere.

Kay continued her relentless practice for hours, which surprised Sesshomaru and his mother, who decided to watch as well.

"I can't believe that just a few hours of practice has caused her skills to level up so quickly." Kimi said to her son, not taking her eyes off of Kay's practicing of firing electricity from her fingers. Sesshomaru nodded in agreement.

"It used to take her at least thirty seconds to have the electricity ready to be fired, now it's only taking her seven seconds to create _and_ fire it." Sesshomaru said back as Kay beat the seven seconds record with six seconds. She inhaled quickly and aimed for the ocean, punching out one flame after the other. She stopped at thirty and stared at her hands.

"I could've pulled off more than that. God damn, my arms are sore." Kay mumbled, realizing her leg muscles hurt too. She stretched for a few minutes and breathed. She then realized her legs and arms began to not hurt and her energy was replenishing itself every time she took a small break.

_'Hahaha, my bad.' _Toukai growled.

"When grandfather dies, life will be strange. When grandfather dies, my whole life will change. When grandfather dies, I will scream and yell…because I will be fucking rich as Hell." Kay sang to herself. Toukai growled at her, but he left her alone with her training.

"Kay, sweetie, aren't you tired?" Kimi called to her worriedly. Kay turned around and shook her head.

"No, not really!" Kay called, turning back to the ocean and firing one, big flame into the horizon. Kimi sighed as she stood up, hearing Inutaisho call her name impatiently. Sesshomaru crossed his arms inside his sleeves and continued watching Kay with interest. Kay stopped fire bending and half-turned to Sesshomaru, who frowned with confusion. He saw Kay's golden orbs stare at him and before he could react, she took off running.

"Get back here!" Sesshomaru ordered, taking off as well.

"Ok, Grampa, let's see what you can do for me!" Kay said to herself as she felt her body feel weightless. She turned her head and saw that Sesshomaru had not yet caught up with her.

"I can just about outrun him!" she panted, flying into a tree.

"Ahhh! Maybe not." She mumbled, rubbing her face. She looked up and smiled sheepishly as her eyes met Sesshomaru's.

"Uhhhh, I wasn't running away?" she said as Sesshomaru bent down and picked her up by the neck of her kimono, not taking his stare off of her.

"Really now? Then what were you doing?" he asked.

"Uhhh…your mom?" she said again. Sesshomaru's simple stare morphed into a cold glare.

"Ok, so I'm bored of being stuck in one place. I need to go other places." Kay admitted.

"Other places?"

"Yeah, just for a while…please?" Kay asked sweetly. Sesshomaru sighed and let her get on his back. He told her to hang on tight and he jumped into the air, away from the palace.

"Are you sure Inu-asshole won't mind?" Kay asked Sesshomaru with bitterness in her voice.

"I don't care if he does or doesn't. It isn't as if I'm leaving you somewhere, you're on my back, so he can't say I was being irresponsible." Sesshomaru replied, landing on a tree branch and pushing off. He wasn't feeling much for flying, so he decided to jump. He felt Kay's grip tighten around his neck.

"Is this scaring you?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No, I'm just paranoid that you'll drop my ass in these trees or something." Kay said back, giggling at her excuse. She was a little scared that he would do something to her. Sesshomaru found a nice hilly area and landed on the ground, letting Kay get off of him. They both sat down and inhaled the nice, fresh breeze.

"If I could live out in nature most of my life, I would be so happy." Kay said, crossing her legs and plucking a flower from the ground. Sesshomaru pulled one leg in and rested his hands in his lap, nodding in agreement.

"I remember you reciting lines of songs from your time, do you have any more?" Sesshomaru asked curiously. Kay giggled.

"Oh do I? Hell to the yeah. I have way too many in my opinion." Kay replied, handing him the yellow flower. Sesshomaru took it and held it, confused at why she gave it to him. He kept it anyway.

"This one line cracked me up. It was from a group called 3OH!3. Really weird name, but their beats are sick as Hell. They have this song that's like "I'm not your boyfriend, baby. I ain't your cute little sex toy. I'm not your lion or your tiger. I won't be your nasty little boy toy! Hahaha, I think it's hilarious." Kay said, catching a leaf before it hit the ground and burning it. Sesshomaru frowned. As curious as he was about the future, it must be demented with such songs going around. He had no clue.

"Any others that aren't influenced by sex?"

"Uhhh…no. It's the 21st century. We don't know how to not talk about sex."

"Disappointing."

"Hahaha, I know. Well, there was a song, but it was about the Special Olympics and mentally challenged people so…yeah."

"Now it's more than disappointing."

"Yeah…oh my God…is that a hemp plant?" Kay asked, squinting at what looked like a marijuana plant.

"A what?"

"Did you just ask me what weed was?"

"Yes?"

"Oh my God, don't talk to me!" Kay said, leaping over to the plant. She ripped it out of the ground and sniffed it as Sesshomaru strode over to her.

"Yep…it's pot." She said, holding it up.

"What should we do with it?"

"We find some paper, roll the plant in there, and smoke it. Then we get high."

"Have you done it before?"

"Nope."

"Then why start now?"

"Because…I don't know. I just wanted to see what it was like."

"Well, you're not going to experience it, at least, not around me." Sesshomaru growled, ripping the plant from her hands and getting ready to incinerate it, but before Kay could even protest, a group of demons popped out of nowhere.

"What in the Hell? Where'd they come from?" Sesshomaru asked disgustedly.

"I don't know…maybe the author's on pot!" Kay chirped.

"The author is already at the top of my death list, why does she need to do this?"

"How do you know it's a she? Oh my God! You had sex with her!"

"Shut up! I did not!"

"Ahhhh! You're not a virgin! Ahhhhhhh! Why does that scare me?"

"I don't know! Why do I not want to kill you more than ActionBitch2011?"

"Fuck you, ActionBitch2011!"

"Fuck her? Fuck me!" Sesshomaru yelled.

………………………………………………

Kay woke up from her dream/nightmare. She looked around and realized that everything that had just happened was a dream…she hoped. Kay looked over at Sesshomaru, who was snoozing away and, for once, he actually had a shirt on. Kay growled as she realized she enjoyed staring too much at things. It wasn't her fault Sesshomaru looked ethereal as he slept. The moonlight made him look like he was glowing and shiny things distracted the poor girl.

"Holy fuck balls…I need to lay off the acid…once I start, that is." Kay mumbled, lying back down and staring at Sesshomaru one last time before she fell back asleep.

AN- Well, sorry, the ActionBitch Comedy Well ran dry. Don't worry, I have a three day weekend, Saturday through Monday, so I will be able to recuperate and I will post three more chapters, maybe four if you're good readers and review.

Also, I cannot make the story 30 chapters long. I can only drag the plot out for sooooo long before I start to lose my edge in comedy, so, I'm shortening it to 28. Maybe if something funny happens within the next few days, I can crank it back up to 30, but I'm not sure. Sorry, but I have the sequel planned out and so once this story ends, I can start that right after.

It will still be funny, it will still be completely random, and it will still be awesome. I promise.


	24. Chapter 24

RAWR!

AN- Hahahaha! 3OH3 is an amazing band. I hate rap, but they have a rap-like song, it's badass. Hahahaha! I seem to have lost some readers…come people, reviews please. Anyway, I'm starting the official countdown to the sequel: 4 chapters to go.

Kay stirred as she felt her body temperature rise. First she had a crazy ass dream, now she has to deal with overheating. Great. She pushed the covers and slid her hand down her body to find the thinner sheet. Instead of a sheet, she found an arm. Not her arm…_his arm_.

"Ugh! You sick motherfucker! Get your hands off me!" Kay barked, pushing Sesshomaru's arm off her waist. Sesshomaru moaned in his sleep and wrapped his arm back around her stomach.

"You're not funny! Get off me!" Kay yelled, this time she was fully awake.

"Mmm…stop talking." Sesshomaru said back.

"Stop touching me!"

"Think nothing of it, you fool. I was freezing and you were warm."

"You're old and I'm a child! Get away!"

"It's nothing sexual. How would you like if I just removed my shirt?"

"How would you like a mouth full of cock? Get your hands off!"

"You said I could move closer, remember?"

"When?"

"Last night."

**Flashback**

Sesshomaru woke up shivering, realizing he had every blanket in the room covered over him. He looked over at the radiating Kay, whom had all of the blankets kicked away from her warm body. Sesshomaru sighed and came to the conclusion of rather being warm than cold. He reached over and gently shook the girl.

"Kay," he whispered. Kay's eyebrows twitched.

"Kay, wake up." He said calmly. The girl frowned and yawned but she didn't open her eyes.

"Mmmm…whaaat?" she asked groggily.

"Are you hot?"

"Huh…oh…yeah, I'm burning…up."

"Can I move closer to you? I'm freezing my balls off."

"Hmmm, yeah, yeah you can. I don't…mind."

"Thank you, Kay." Sesshomaru said, moving closer to her.

"Mmmmm, yeah don't…don't mention…it." Kay yawned, falling back asleep.

**End of Flashback**

Kay frowned as Sesshomaru reminded her of her conversation with him last night. She scratched her messy black hair and groaned.

"I uhhhh…I said that?" she asked. Sesshomaru nodded.

"Oh, well, uh, sorry." Kay said, nuzzling back under the covers and closing her eyes. She must've been half-asleep or dead when that conversation happened. Nevertheless, it must've happened or Sesshomaru would've never moved next to her.

A few hours later, Kay woke up once more, feeling refreshed and ready to go…take a bath. She crawled out of bed and walked down to the bathroom, maids awaiting her.

"Fill it up, homies." Kay yawned, waiting for them to leave before removing her clothes and jumping in, wishing she hadn't.

"OH MY GOD! I JUST FROZE MY TITS OFF!" she screamed, finally 100 percent awake. She quickly warmed the water and sighed, letting the heat take over. She relaxed on the side and began washing herself, calling the maids back in.

"Do you have any cooler colors of kimonos?" Kay asked, stretching her arms, making sure nothing else was sticking out of the water.

"Cooler colors? You mean…blue?" a maid asked quietly.

"No…more like…black." Kay said, smiling calmly.

"I'm not entirely sure. I will check. If there isn't black, what would you want instead?"

"Uhhh…good question. If not, bring me something…red I guess." Kay said, hoping there was black. The maid came back with red.

"I'm sorry, there was no black. Lord Inutaisho really doesn't like black. He thinks it causes people to be dark."

"Well, duh, that's why it's black." Kay retorted, telling the maid to lay the clothes on the floor. She wasn't quite done with her bath yet. The half demon girl hummed a song as she lounged around lazily until she got bored of the bath and climbed out, drying off with a towel and slipping on her new, silky red kimono.

"Oooh, I like how this feels." Kay mumbled, stroking her silk sleeve. She huffed and walked out of the bathroom, sliding down the hall in her socks.

"Hahaha, I'm too easily entertained." Kay snickered as she began spinning around on her toes. She stopped when she began getting too dizzy and looked at the stairs.

"Right." She said, slowly stepping down on them and making sure the stair her foot landed on was the real step. It took her a few minutes to get on the bottom floor. She sniffed the air and frowned. Something wasn't right. Usually she had someone stalking her to make sure she wouldn't do anything, but she was alone.

"Hello?" Kay called out, knowing no one was there to answer. No maids, guards, annoying dog demons, nothing. Kay opened the door and walked out to the beach. She sniffed the salty air and felt her face twist in confusion.

"Where is everyone?" Kay asked herself. No trace of anyone. It was as if they never existed in the first place. She looked around the empty, quiet beach. It was extremely eerie and silent, even with the waves crashing on the shore. Kay treaded around the sandy beach and shivered, for a summer day, it was a bit on the chilly side. She blew fire into her hands to warm herself up and frowned.

"This is so fucking weird." She whispered, walking back inside. She closed the door and began running down every hallway into every room, sniffing and listening attentively for any signs of life.

_'Grrrrrrrr! Damn that sneaky bastard, Inutaisho! He took off and left you for dead!' _Toukai roared in the back of Kay's mind. She didn't reply, she was too thunderstruck at the fact that she was alone. She ran back into the lounge area and stood in place, trying to think of any idea what was going on. She opened the secret door that led to the pool and ran down into it. She opened the door and growled with disappointment, no one was here.

_'Sorry about this, Kay.' _Toukai growled, releasing his power into her body.

"Sorry about wha…ahhh!" Kay cried out. Her body filled with pain as her demon blood began coursing through her veins. Before too long, she blacked out, letting Toukai take over completely.

"I can't be out for very long or she'll never go back." He said, walking out to the front and sniffing the air. He got nothing and frowned in confusion.

"I don't get it." He stated, running away from the palace and searching for an answer. He looked up and saw a cloud getting ready to pass over the sun. He looked back down and continued running. A few minutes later Toukai stopped running and looked up. The cloud was over the sun, but the sun continued shinning.

"What in the Hell is up with that? Unless," he trailed off, digging Kay's claws into her hand, letting them soak in the blood. Toukai waved her hand horizontally, releasing blades of blood at the sun. The blades hit the fake sun dead on and broke it, causing the illusion spell to break. Toukai looked around angrily and saw Inutaisho and Tommy battling it out like there was no tomorrow. Kimi and Kay's mother were also fighting, and Sesshomaru was effortlessly killing Tommy's allies, face looking like Kay does when she's forced to watch the History Channel…absolutely bored as Hell.

"Don't look so excited, Fluffy!" Toukai called out, smiling. Sesshomaru turned his head and glared at Kay, but then he realized that she was transformed, but not killing mindlessly.

"Silence yourself, you old fool!" Sesshomaru shouted back. Toukai growled.

"I'm not that old, damn it!" he growled, looking over in his son's and Inutaisho's direction.

"Well, well, well…has the sex finally gone bad?" Toukai asked them mischievously. Tommy and Inutaisho stopped attacking one another and looked at Kay/Toukai.

"Kay, seriously, now is not the time for gay jokes!" Inutaisho barked impatiently.

"You never were smart." Toukai retorted to him. Inutaisho growled when he realized it was Toukai.

"If it isn't my dad. Well, how's it going?" Tommy asked evilly.

"It's going quite well, Son. How's your dick? Still small?" Toukai chuckled, making Tommy sizzle with anger.

"My dick is enormous!" Tommy shouted. Inutaisho snorted.

"No it isn't!" Inutaisho said while turning his head to Tommy.

"It's bigger than yours!" Tommy roared.

"No it isn't!" Toukai added in. Tommy growled when he realized he was about to get his ass whipped by the both of them, but Toukai stepped in front of Inutaisho.

"He's all yours." Inutaisho said, letting Tetsusaiga drop to his side. Toukai smirked as Tommy ran after him. Toukai yawned and quickly opened his eyes, causing both his and Tommy's to glow red. Inutaisho watched as Tommy's body fell to the ground, lifeless.

"It's a good thing I had more than one kid, I'd be pretty pissed off right now." Toukai growled, disappearing back into the depths of Kay's mind. Kay felt her consciousness return, but Inutaisho picked her up before she could see her father's dead body. Inutaisho ran to his wife and pushed Kay's mother onto the ground.

"I'm going to let you off with a choice, retreat now or die." He growled to the woman who stood up and saw her dead husband. She looked over and saw Sesshomaru squeezing the life out of the last enemy. Inutaisho and Kimi looked at him awkwardly.

"What? I was bored." Sesshomaru replied simply, walking over to them.

"I will retreat. Someone will be back in a few days to get Kay off your hands." Her mother said quietly.

"Why can't she just stay with us?" Kimi asked sweetly. Inutaisho and Sesshomaru glared heatedly at her. Like Hell were they to raise Kay.

"Five days at the most." Her mother said, finding a few live soldiers and returning to where ever they came from.

"Damn, this child is hot!" Inutaisho finally spat, face revealing he had been holding the pain in for a while. Her skin was hot to the touch and he happened to be carrying her. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and took Kay from him, making sure she wasn't touching him directly.

The family returned to their palace and all decided to rest. Inutaisho was showing his muscles off to his wife, who was staring back uncaringly at him. Sesshomaru kept Kay at his side, staring at her intensely.

"Mmm, dude, stop staring at me! For real!" Kay moaned, pulling a pillow over her face. Sesshomaru snickered silently, feeling victorious at annoying her.

"Sesshomaru, leave her alone." Inutaisho said.

"No." Sesshomaru said, slowly peeling the pillow off her face, grinning at her frustrated growl. Kay took the pillow from his hand and slapped him hard in the face with the pillow before lying back down and returning to her resting.

"Hahahaha!" Inutaisho laughed as his son rubbed his face in agony. How could something so soft be used as a weapon?

"Everything this girl touches is a potential weapon of death." Sesshomaru mumbled angrily. He heard Kay giggle at his comment.

"Oh, do you think my agony is funny?" Sesshomaru asked her, picking up another pillow.

"I think it's fucking hilarious!" Kay giggled, rolling out of the way as Sesshomaru slammed the pillow down where she once was. Sesshomaru growled and looked up, only to have a pillow smash him in the face.

"Hahahaha! You suck at pillow fights!" Kay giggled, running behind Inutaisho. Sesshomaru cocked his arm back and frowned as his eyes met his father's.

"Do you remember what happened the last time you threw something at me?" his father asked slyly, sipping on some tea.

"Yeah, you got your mouth burned to Hell and back!" Kay said, making sure she didn't overstep the line. Inutaisho sighed and nodded in remembrance to the burning sensation in his mouth from a while ago. Back when he actually kind of liked Kay. The small girl walked over to Sesshomaru and pat him on his head, as if that would make his defeat by a child any less painful. Inutaisho frowned as e drank the rest of his tea.

Just a few more days.


	25. Chapter 25

Take The White Pill and You'll Feel Alright

Official Sequel Countdown: 3 more to go.

AN- Speaking of the sequel, does anyone have any idea what I should name the title? If you fire off some ideas, it would help me make one up. Thanks.

Kay sighed as she thought about returning to the 21st century. She missed it a lot. She watched Sesshomaru leap into the air, dodging his father's attacks. Inutaisho aimed Tetsusaiga at his son and fired another wind scar at him, knowing very well that Sesshomaru's speed was faster than the attack's.

"You've gotten a lot faster, Son. I'm proud of you." Inutaisho said happily, patting his son on the shoulder. Sesshomaru nodded and looked over in Kay's direction.

"Kay, do you think you could deflect Tetsusaiga's attack?" Sesshomaru asked her randomly. Kay's ears twitched as she stood up.

"Uh…I'm sure I could. Can I try?" she asked quietly. Inutaisho nodded and hoped she could do it.

_'I know how to deflect it.' _Toukai said groggily.

"How?" Kay whispered under her breath.

_'Have you noticed that the sword cuts through the demonic winds?'_

"Yeah."

_'Use your fire to burn all of the demonic winds, making them all the same wind, therefore the wind scar will cease to exist.'_

"Ok." Kay said, hoping her fire was strong enough to wield off Inutaisho's demonic aura.

"Alright Kay, Sesshomaru will save you if you can't do it, so don't worry!" Inutaisho called. Kay eyed Sesshomaru, who was standing not too far away. He looked utterly bored. Kay then looked back at Inutaisho and nodded. The demon lord cocked the sword to the side and forcefully swung it, sending out a wind scar.

"Here I go!" Kay yelled, thrusting both fists out and beginning to quickly burn the demonic winds, but they were too strong and the wind scar overpowered her flames. Sesshomaru quickly grabbed the girl and flew out of the way as the attack struck the ocean waters forcefully.

"Fuck!" Kay growled, stepping back up to the plate. Toukai chuckled. Kay frowned as his amusement echoed in her head.

"Shut the Hell up!" she hissed.

_'What happened to becoming the strongest fire bender ever to live?' _he purred with malice. Kay gritted her teeth.

_'You aren't nearly as strong as that Shana girl I heard about on the news a while ago.'_

"That's because she's a born prodigy. She was born with the power and natural skills that everyone else has to work their asses off for. I don't want to be born the best, I want to become the best."

_'She used the cold blooded fire at age five.'_

"…"

_'She mastered lightning before she turned six.'_

"…grrrrr."

_'She became the best at age eight. You're twelve and still can't use the cold blooded fire.'_

"…SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP!" Kay roared as she shot flames at the wind scar. Her flames turned blue and quickly engulfed Inutaisho's demonic aura and burned it, dissipating the wind scar.

_'Good job sweetie, but, Shana is still so far above your league.'_

"I don't care." Kay mumbled. She saw Inutaisho looking at his sword curiously.

"She overpowered it." He said simply, walking up to Kay.

"Good job." Inutaisho said happily as he pat Kay on the head and walked into the house.

"You were talking to yourself again." Sesshomaru said simply as the waves crashed upon the beach.

"I was talking to Grandpa. He kept hassling me about some other fire bending half demon."

"There are others like you?"

"Yeah, her name is Shana. She's like a distant cousin of mine, we're both the same type of demon and bender, but she is so much better than me."

"Is she older than you?"

"Same age."

"Oh. You shouldn't worry yourself over pointless things."

"I know but,"

"But nothing. If you continue worrying about others, you can never achieve your highest power. Don't let her worry you."

"Ok…thanks."

"No problem."

Later on, Sesshomaru was drying off from his bath when he heard someone talking. He strained his ears and dropped in on the conversation.

"Inutaisho, how can we trust the person her mother sends to get her? What if they all have the same objective?" Kimi asked worriedly.

"Look, it's none of our business. When that person comes to pick Kay up, I'm giving them that demented child gift wrapped with a bow on top."

"She's a child."

"A demented child."

"But a child nonetheless."

"We aren't keeping her."

"Why not?"

"We have Sesshomaru…doesn't that make you happy enough?"

"It has nothing to do with him, so keep him out of it."

"You never answered my question."

"Sesshomaru is my life, Inutaisho. I would do anything and everything to make him happy, even if I make him angry, I'm doing what's in his best interest."

"Well, I love him too, but I can barely handle him, why would I want a little girl whom I can't handle at all?"

"You are impossible." Kimi whined. Sesshomaru had his clothes on and walked out of the bathroom and saw Kay standing outside of his parents' room with tears streaming down her face. Their eyes met.

"Oh…hey." Kay said, wiping the tears off her face and walking up to the taller demon. Sesshomaru picked her up and carried her away from his parents' room, heading down to the garden out on the side of the palace. They sat next to each other and said nothing for a while. Sesshomaru looked down at the girl, who had her arms crossed and an extremely thoughtful look upon her face. The dog demon felt his eyebrows raise, she was never this quiet even when sleeping.

"Don't mind my father, he can't stand that you beat him earlier." Sesshomaru said, finally breaking the silence.

"No, I'm pretty sure he hates me." She replied candidly. Sesshomaru frowned. He never was great at comforting people. He placed his hand on her back and began rubbing it gently. Kay flinched, but she said nothing. She heard Kimi walk outside and exhale when she spotted the two demons.

"Sesshomaru, your father is extremely insensitive right now!" she yelled angrily.

"No duh." Kay chirped morbidly. Kimi looked at the unusually depressed pre-teen and then at her round-the-clock ice-cold son.

"She overheard you two." Sesshomaru said finally. Kimi growled and sat down, trying to get Kay to look up at her, but she failed.

"I'm so sorry that you had to hear that, Kay. He's a jerk." Kimi said.

"Whatever." Kay growled. Kimi turned and saw Inutaisho round the corner.

"And one other thing, if Kay dies…damn." He stopped seeing the girl's face buried in Sesshomaru's chest. Sesshomaru looked down uncertainly and then back up at his mother, who motioned for him to hug her.

"Negative." Sesshomaru growled. Kimi stood up and turned to Inutaisho, eyes blood red.

"I swear, you have to be the most idiotic man ever to walk the planet! Blaming your problems on a twelve-year-old half demon! What a man!" Kimi yelled, walking away. Inutaisho danced around in a circle to release his anger quietly.

"Ugh…I have to leave…be back soon." Inutaisho growled, jumping off to the north. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and looked down.

"He's gone." Sesshomaru said,

"Awesome! Dude, that was so fucking funny!" Kay said, ripping away from the demon prince and giggling. Making people miserable made her laugh.

AN- Sorry, ran out of comedy juice, and I'm trying to save some for the big finale. Can ya dig that? I'm working on my gangsta talk. Plus, I thought that I should reintroduce my favorite made up character, Shana. She makes for a badass person. The one you love to hate. Of course, she takes the hate mail she gets, throws it on a fire and roasts some damn good marshmallows and hot dogs.


	26. Chapter 26

Kickstart My Heart

Official Countdown: 2 more to go

AN- Well, I'm trying my best to be funny on this one.

Kay and Sesshomaru stared at one another from across the huge dinning room table. Kimi had left to check out a new power Inutaisho had given her, and Inutaisho had yet to come back from his last disappearance, but the demon lord was the last thing on Sesshomaru and Kay's minds, that for sure. They continued staring until they had tears swelling up in their eyes.

"Come on…do it." Kay said, staring intensely at the demon prince.

"Ladies first." Sesshomaru said back.

"What are you waiting for?" Kay retorted. Sesshomaru frowned. The dinning room door flung open, both competitors blinking and turning around to face the door.

"My most sincerest apologies, Master Sesshomaru, but where is your father?" Totosai asked bluntly.

_'Damn. He can't not appear when we don't want him to, can he?' _Sesshomaru thought darkly, feeling angry at the fact that he lost a staring contest. He had NEVER lost a staring contest before. Technically, it was a stalemate, but it wasn't winning either. He saw Kay blink a few times to make her eyes hurt less.

"Master Sesshomaru, where is your," Totosai began.

"I don't know!" Sesshomaru barked impatiently. Totosai exhaled with a shiver and looked at Kay, who was wiping tears from her face quietly.

"Well, I guess he's with Princess Izayoi again." Totosai mumbled absentmindedly. Sesshomaru and Kay's ears perked at this statement.

"Princess Izayoi? Who would that be?" Sesshomaru quizzed the old man, who jumped at the mention of the princess's name.

"Princess Izayoi did you say? I've never heard of her!" Totosai spat out quickly. Sesshomaru picked the old man up by his shirt and glared icily at him.

"Who is she?" Sesshomaru asked angrily. Totosai shivered involuntarily with fear.

"She is your father's new lover." A tiny bug said, jumping off the shoulder of Totosai and hopping over to Kay. It jumped on her arm.

"AHHH! BUG!" Kay screamed, slapping her arm. She flicked it on the floor and ran over to Sesshomaru, who was gritting his teeth and suppressing his anger.

"Lover, you say?" Sesshomaru asked, thinking, no, hoping that he heard wrong.

"Yes, his new lover. She's quite the beauty, even though she is human." The bug said again, brushing himself off. Sesshomaru was now unknowingly choking the life out of Totosai, eyes red with anger.

"_Human_ lover?" he spat through gritted teeth. Kay looked up and sighed.

"Dude, seriously, simmer down. You act so surprised that your dad is out banging chicks." Kay said, flicking the bug off of her again.

"I don't care if he is having sex with women, I care that he is having sex with human women." Sesshomaru growled, dropping Totosai on the floor and stepping on the bug purposely.

"Myoga, why are you and Totosai aware of his affairs with another woman?" Sesshomaru asked coolly. Myoga hopped on Totosai and cleared his throat.

"Well, uh, I kind of snuck around, caught your father in the middle of _it_,"

"Of course." Sesshomaru and Kay chanted.

"Then I told Totosai, so, really, your father has no clue that we know." Myoga finished. Sesshomaru exhaled and looked at Kay, who was shaking her head in disappointment.

"Your dad fucks anything that walks, doesn't he?" Kay asked Sesshomaru, who could only nod in response. Myoga screamed with a high-pitched voice.

"AHHHHHHH! She's a descendant of Toukai! We're DOOOOOMED!" Myoga shouted.

"Where the Hell have you been?" Sesshomaru asked, already in Dante's 9th circle of Hell. Myoga looked at Sesshomaru, who was pushing his hair behind his ear, and then at Kay, who was blowing smoke rings into the air.

"You mean she's not dangerous?" Myoga asked.

"No, she's pretty dangerous. Look at her fierce determination to kill anything and everything that crosses her path." Sesshomaru replied sarcastically. Myoga watched as Kay continuously poked Sesshomaru's fluff.

"Poke…poke…poke…poke…hee hee hee…it's soft." Kay chirped idly.

"Now, Totosai, what business do you hold with my father?" Sesshomaru asked as Kay leaned in closer to his face. He looked at her fiercely and received a smile.

"I thought I saw something on your head but…it's just your face…sorry, false alarm." Kay said, leaning away from him. Sesshomaru turned back to Totosai, who was sneaking out the door.

"Get back in here, you old fool." Sesshomaru ordered coldly. Totosai sighed and turned around.

"I just came to congratulate him." Totosai remarked. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked again, angry inflections hinting his deep voice. Kay giggled at how he handled things around the palace.

"Well, I guess I could congratulate you instead. Congratulations, Master Sesshomaru, you're going to be a big brother." Totosai said quickly, running out of the room. Kay looked at Sesshomaru, whose face looked like a ghost just popped out and admitted his gayness for the frozen dog demon.

"Sesshomaru? Are you ok?" Kay asked timidly. He looked at her and regained his complexion.

"I'm fine. Let's go find something to do, Kay." He said, standing up. Kay followed behind him quietly, not wanting for him to explode with anger.

They went to the beach and Kay found the shield she had been using as a surfboard. She went to go surf, but turned around, seeing Sesshomaru's confused expression. Kay dropped and shield and ran up to him.

"Look, maybe he's lying." Kay reassured the demon. He looked up at her and frowned.

"I'm not angry about that. I'm angry that my father would sneak around on my mother as if she was some unimportant whore." Sesshomaru said. Kay sighed and sat down.

"This is some serious Jerry Springer shit." She mumbled. Sesshomaru pondered on her meaning, but gave up after a while. Kay exhaled and looked at the dog demon worriedly.

"You need to relax. Just wait, your mom will find out and kick your dad's ass so hard, she'll be able to read his mind." Kay said with a smile. Sesshomaru ruffled her hair up and pushed her down.

"Ahh! What was that for?" Kay asked.

"I just felt like randomly pushing you." Sesshomaru replied, blocking her fist.

A few hours later, Kay was hyped up on Happy Tea and Sesshomaru had one drink too many. They were both on the floor, cracking up over Kay's songs.

"Hahahahahaha! Do you…have any…anymore?" Sesshomaru asked, trying to sit up. He gave up and just lay sprawled out on the floor.

"Yeah! Hold on…ok, here I go! The German Knuckle Caaaaaaaake will really make her moooooan!" Kay sang loudly and off tune, causing both demons to fall under another laughing spell.

"Do another one!" Sesshomaru pleaded, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Boing, boing, boing! It's shirtless girl!" Kay yelled obnoxiously, crying from the pain of laughter.

Kimi walked in the room and exhaled with annoyance as the two began singing another song.

"I never meant tooooooo, give you mushrooms giiiirrrrrl! I never meant toooooo, bring you to my wooooooorld! And now you're lyiiiing in the corner, cryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" they sang together.

"Damn kids." Kimi growled, walking upstairs to drown out their musical.

AN- This chapter is equal to what we would call a filler episode. XD Don't hate the playa, hate the game.


	27. Chapter 27

Title Missing

AN- I hate flamers and hate mail. Oh well, I will just use them to make a fire and roast some fucking marshmallows and hot dogs with it.

By the way, there are two types of Sesshomaru fans: the ones who like him and the ones who fantasize about him. Here's a piece of advice, if you start your own story, try not to piss the fantasizing ones off because they can be some of the most annoying girls/guys ever. (Yes, I've met a gay guy who is in love with Sesshomaru. Haha, makes me laugh, but he's like a tall, not green Jaken, if you catch my drift.)

Official Countdown: 1 to go.

Kay sat quietly at the table for two reasons. One, there was absolutely nothing to talk about, nothing to make fun of, nothing…unless she wanted to be skinned alive by Inutaisho, who sat across from her, staring back. Reason two for her silence, Inutaisho knew that she knew about his affair, and he was to be damned if he had one day with her left and she would hint to his wife about his affair.

"Kay, you're so quiet." Kimi said, drinking the last of her water. Kay looked up innocently.

"No, I'm not." Kay protested calmly. Kimi exhaled and decided not to push the conversation any further. Sesshomaru noticed the cold stare Kay was receiving from his father and shook his head; this was going to be a long day.

"So, Inutaisho, what _exactly_ did you have to discuss with Lord Aki?" Kimi asked, suspicion rising in her mind.

"Oh, uh, uh, we uh, tttttt…talked about our uh, future combination of the northern and western lands." Inutaisho said shakily.

"So, uh, uh, did you, uh, sttttt…stutter like you are, uh…NOW?" Kimi asked angrily, already knowing something was up and it wasn't the sky. Inutaisho jumped slightly at her raised voice, knowing she was on to him. He looked at Kay icily, who glared back heatedly.

"Hey, you got yourself into this! Don't you dare stare at me like it's my goddamn fault!" Kay snarled, claws digging into the table. Sesshomaru noticed that she had been white knuckling it for at least an hour and had been trying to keep her mouth shut for once.

"Sesshomaru, take Kay and go, this isn't going to be pretty." Kimi said calmly.

"Hahahaha, alright! I'll go get my camera!" Kay said, hopping up. Sesshomaru grabbed her sleeve and pulled her in the opposite direction, outside to avoid crossfire. The two sat outside and sighed as they saw Inutaisho running outside, begging for mercy.

"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH A DISGUSTING HUMAN WOMAN!" Kimi roared, eyes blood red.

"Honey, please calm down!" Inutaisho begged.

"WHY SHOULD I?" she asked.

"Well, think of the bright side…at least it wasn't a human man." Inutaisho said timidly. Sesshomaru and Kay moaned with disbelief that he would even try to slide out of this one.

"Yes…AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T GO GAY ON ME! OH, HAPPY DAYS!"

"Oh, there is one more problem, sweetie, honey, my one and only love," Inutaisho said, almost squealing in terror.

"What?" Kimi snarled.

"…She's pregnant." Inutaisho whispered, but Kimi heard him loud and clear. Kimi looked down, hiding her face. Her hair flew out of its ponytail and flew behind her as she transformed into her true form. She barked angrily at Inutaisho before running off into the distance.

"That's it? Man, I would've kept my pimp hand strong and pecker slapped the living shit out of him!" Kay yelled with disbelief.

"Kay, calm down." Sesshomaru said.

"NO! That was the worst Feudal Jerry Springer I have ever seen!" she whined, sitting back down. Again, Sesshomaru took a few seconds out of his busy day to wonder what she meant by "Jerry Springer." He gave up, concluding it was a futuristic pastime.

"Sesshomaru, did you know about…this?" Inutaisho asked with pure depression. Sesshomaru stood up and nodded. Inutaisho nodded and exhaled slowly, looking down at Kay.

"I'm sorry Kay, I know it wasn't your fault that any of this happened. I take full responsibility for my actions and ask for your forgiveness." Inutaisho said, kneeling in front of her. Kay took a step back to make sure he wasn't going to spontaneously kill her.

"I forgive you." Kay said quietly. Inutaisho stood up and placed both hands on his son's shoulders.

"Do you forgive me for cheating on your mother?" he asked Sesshomaru, who blinked.

"That is not my responsibility to forgive you for cheating, that is Mother's obligation. You do as you please." Sesshomaru replied. Inutaisho sighed and smirked. Just the answer he expected his son to say. Someone wasn't going to be getting a kick ass sword for their birthday…thou name is Sesshomaru.

"I'm going to try and straighten things up with your mother, I'll be back." Inutaisho said, jumping off to find his wife. Sesshomaru looked down at Kay, who was staring intensely at the silhouette of a woman.

"What is it?" Sesshomaru asked her, turning around, staring at the woman with blonde hair.

"It's my…Aunt Rose." Kay said with disbelief.

AN-HAHAHAHA! I'm so evil with the cliffhangers. Don't worry, all of this comedic backup has been accumulated and is going straight in the 28th and FINAL chapter of this story, yo! Make sure to use the bathroom before hand and do NOT have any valuable objects near by. Fair warning in my book.


	28. Chapter 29

Hide The Rum

AN- Well, the last chapter, sorry it took so long. Man, I feel like an asshole for not posting sooner, sorry peeps.

According to my family, I steal the toilet paper in our house. XD Hahaha! (If you want the whole story, message me or review and I will tell you.)

Sesshomaru looked down at the girl beside him with one question. Who the fuck is Aunt Rose? He wouldn't dare lower himself to speak in such a manner, so he settled with…

"Who is this Aunt Rose you speak of?" he asked blandly, deciding not to worry much about her. Kay looked up, jogging in place.

"Well, she's my aunt! And…uh, uh…hide the alcohol!" Kay spat quickly and worriedly while throwing her hands in the air.

"Is she a drunk?"

"No, well, not always, but when she gets drunk she gets…_horny!_" Kay whined with disgust as her face showed plain fear of the thought of a horny aunt. Sesshomaru would've laughed at Kay's worry if he had a soul. He simply looked up and saw the woman just trot right up to them. Sesshomaru frowned at how easily she got to the palace and he was even more intrigued by how she made Kay cower in fear just by smiling. Either it was skill or the fact he had never met her that intrigued him, he didn't care, but Kay was on the verge of pissing herself.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaay!" the blonde woman screeched, picking the reluctant Kay up, who was doing all in her power to escape the Hugs and Kisses of Death. The woman let Kay go and watched as her niece hid behind Sesshomaru, hoping he would mistake her aunt for some crazy ass demon that needed slaying…now..._before_ she found the alcohol.

"You are never happy to see me, are you?" Rose asked, hands on her hips, waving her head and flipping her long, curly blond hair behind her. She then scratched her cheek with a claw. Sesshomaru saw Rose tracing her pink, somewhat jagged stripe on her face while waiting for an answer from Kay.

"Well, if you weren't always the bearer of annoyance, maybe I would love you more." Kay mumbled, hiding more of herself behind Sesshomaru's leg. Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow, showing emotion for once. That emotion was slight disbelief.

"The bearer of annoyance is the reason why you don't love your own aunt? You shouldn't even remotely like yourself if that's the case." Sesshomaru said calmly, earning a nice middle finger from Kay.

"Well now, aren't you a sweetheart?" Rose said sarcastically to Sesshomaru, who looked at her with slight disgust. She wore skintight jeans and a shirt that showed her stomach and belly button ring. Kay also checked out what her aunt was wearing and grimaced.

"Oh my God, put that thing away! There are children out here!" Kay barked, pointing at her aunt's stomach.

"What? I'm in shape! Unlike you who hasn't even grown boobies yet!"

"I'm only twelve!"

"That's no excuse! Implants!"

"Ahhhhhh! You're so retarded!" Kay yelled while crossing her arms, realizing Sesshomaru wasn't going to be any help…again. The demon prince frowned. Implants? What were these monstrous things they were talking about?

"So, are you going to invite me in or leave me standing out here?" Rose chirped sarcastically with a smile.

"We're going to leave your dumb ass out here." Kay said slyly.

"Right this way." Sesshomaru said serenely, catching a glimpse of Kay's rolling eyes. This was going to be somewhat entertaining. Finally Sesshomaru could get back at Kay for all of the awful times she put him through. Oh, if he weren't so heartless, damn would he be laughing right about now.

Sesshomaru led them to the meeting room and sat down, ordering drinks. The alcohol kind, Kay got water instead. He felt her heated glare when he ordered the drinks, but he didn't care. His curiosity was practically pounding out his judgment of the situation. The maids stepped lively and brought the drinks in quicker than usual. Kay held the cup in her hand, watching fearfully as her aunt chugged the beverage.

"Having fun?" Sesshomaru asked Kay teasingly.

"No, asswipe, I'm not!" she hissed back, water boiling in the cup from her outburst.

"Kay! Young lady, don't speak to your superiors in that manner!" Rose snapped. Kay frowned.

"Point to my superior and I won't dis them." Kay said back, knowing that no one had the guts to reprimand her at this point. The damage was done. Sesshomaru closed his eyes. Only a few more hours and this brat was gone and she had better not plan on seeing him ever again, because regardless of her age and health, he would surely kill her without second thought.

"I'm so sorry you had to deal with this whore in the making, young man. I'm sorry, I don't believe I caught your name." Rose said, chugging her third cup.

"Sesshomaru." The younger demon replied calmly, despite his hate of anyone that dealt with Kay on the bloodline.

"Ooooh, sexy name." She replied with a smile that would make any man melt with pleasure…unless he was Sesshomaru.

"Ugh! Goddamn! Already flirting with someone." Kay said under her breath, holding her face in her hands.

"You're just jealous because he likes me more than you." Rose teased.

"No he doesn't!" Kay argued.

"Actually, I despise you both equally." Sesshomaru added, keeping his cool. The two stared at him and then at each other.

"It's pretty bad that he only just met me and already likes me more than you." Rose continued, ignoring Sesshomaru's comment. Kay's water had completely evaporated by now. She was gritting her teeth and glared at Sesshomaru, who smirked with amusement.

_'Usually her temper is quick to exploit, but her aunt seems to bring the jealous side of Kay out. How amusing.' _He thought, continuing his quiet observation as Kay and Rose shot horrifying comments to one another across the table. And here Sesshomaru thought he and Kay were awful. Rose and Kay called each other names that Sesshomaru wouldn't dare call even the dirtiest of women, and he's seen plenty of those.

"Goddamn slut." Kay said.

"Future Paris of America." Rose said back.

"Disgusting, overused, under cleaned vagina."

"BJ giver to all who own a penis."

"I'd rather do that than be a dirty vagina."

"Of course you would, you're an ugly slut."

"Takes an ugly slut to know one."

"Not really. You just need good eyesight."

"And experience."

"Will you two ever give up?" Sesshomaru asked, massaging his temples.

"Not until I win." They said back. Sesshomaru groaned as they continued their horrific name calling, trying to get the upper hand, but even a retarded chimp would know a stalemate if it saw one. These two obviously had lower intelligence than that of a retarded chimp. Sesshomaru smirked at his own analogy. He should make it audible. Now.

"Ok, I win. You're a loser Kay." Rose declared.

"You gave up! You're a loser!" Kay barked back. Suddenly, Kay fell over and didn't move. Sesshomaru almost stood up, but he saw Rose motion for him to stop.

"I drugged her while she wasn't looking. Makes it easier to carry her ass out of your hands." Rose said professionally as she strode over to Kay.

"What?" Sesshomaru asked, noticing her demeanor had changed from minor slut to professional half-breed wrangler.

"I'm not like this at all. I am very civil and extremely intelligent. I just do this to piss Kay off. She deserves some karma, if you ask me."

"Don't worry, I understand completely." Sesshomaru replied, almost ready to jump for joy when he would no longer have to see her evil little face.

"Well, sorry you had to deal with this. Families suck, which why I refuse to be a part of one. See ya." Rose said, disappearing from sight. Sesshomaru sniffed the air and sighed. Gone. Finally gone. He looked around and began to walk outside, realizing something.

"Boring." He growled, thinking about digging more holes.

"Still boring." He said, refusing to throw fruit at servants by himself.

"Ugh! Dreadfully boring." He growled, not having any reason to cuss or be angry. He then realized that he needed Kay. Not for his sanity, not for his health, but for the fact that she actually brightened his day up by smashing his hopes of freedom to pieces.

"So damn boring." He said quietly, walking to his room to sleep.

AN- I know, it sucked major balls. I tried. Anyway, as I said before, I was going to put my homeslice, Shana, back in the saddle for the sequel to this. I urge you to read the first chapter of Warning: This Is Not An Acid Trip to get a feel for what Shana is and stands for. Putting her into a story without most of you knowing about it will give you the wrong impression. She is not a hurt soul taking her bottled anger out on everyone. She does it because she can. I love her though. I wish she were real. XD


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